Are “independent boss ladies” intimidating to guys when it comes to dating?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing a lot more of older and single independent boss babes lately. My close friend is one of them, she has a great career and runs her own company but she’s never had any guy approached her. Her last two relationships didn’t work out because she was way too focused on her work but now that she’s in her mid 30s, she’s starting to worry about her love life.

Now I’m the opposite of her, I’m a dependent non-boss lady who prioritizes my relationship/my family over work 😅. I thought I would be a burden to the guys that I date because I plan to stop working once I get married, which would place all the financial burden on then man but turns out I’m seemingly attracting more guys than she does. Both her and I have similar expectations in a relationship, we value equality and don’t expect the man to pay for everything.

Are guys just intimidated of independent boss girls?

[Anonymous]

This comes off very "I'm secretly envious of my friends success but a bunch of red pilllers will talk about how awful she is and I will feel more secure abut myself."

A successful driven woman is going to be driven and successful no matter what.

Ypur fri3nd just probably hasn't found a guy who iw bringing enough value to her life that she should give up her career. It's likely more stasifying than submitting to a guy who wanta you to dull your shine because he isn't saying much.

If she is a housewife that side of her will still be there.

I was a SAHM and now I'm a EAHM (Entrepreneur at home Mom) and SAHM work is way harder than what she's doing.

It's also pretty thankless work. You have to do it for its own sake or out of a sense of duty.

Also, you come off very "pick me". Not saying you are. Just my impression.

If I am staying at home running your house and kids for you, you better damn well be paying for everything.

You are willing to do that and give him a pass in paying.

Please smarten up before you do get married or else you will get screwed. And not in the good way.

Re the question: Men are not "intimidated" by women as much as they feel insecure that women thrive in a masculine area. So, they usually just say she's horrible. She usually isn't. She's often among the best women.

But, since men want to throw women at money and hope she'll take that instead of, genuine interest, emotional investment and vulnerability (which they can't/won't/withhold for manipulation and control) they say her femininity is corrupted and she sucks.

A woman like your friend wanta that since she can feed and clothe herself.

Funnily enough, they don't really like pick me women that much because they don't get the quasi-psycho pleasure of dominating and breaking her down.

[Asker]

I’m definitely proud of her success but we want different things, I am much more relationship oriented while she is more career focused. I also have my own business but my man makes so much more (and I’m also dependent lol, planning to hire someone else to take over so that I can focus on homemaking).

I asked this here because my friend confided in me because she’s getting concerned about men seemingly turned off by her success. I don’t have many guy friends so I have no one else to ask. My friend however, has a bunch of guy friends and they said they guys are “intimidated” by her which is why I chose to phrase the question this way. They said that guys are intimidated by how much money she’s making, now I don't know how much there is in that but I’m just going off of what her guy friends said.

I understand that I may come across as very pick me, but I have been defending her on here while at the same time, I do understand that me and her want different things when it comes to looking for a man. I’m also well aware of the red pill-ers, which is why it’s pissing me off how a lot of the guys here seem to immediately assume that she’s bitchy just because she’s a boss babe… I don't know how many times I’ve replied to an opinion in here telling them that my friend is sociable, very chill, outgoing and an overall fun loving person lol

We also live in a highly patriarchal / conservative country where the women are only expected to be SAHM, even her parents are telling her to “slow down on work” so that she can find a man. I guess this might also explain why the men here are “intimidated” by her

[Opinion Owner]

Ooh, I'm so curious to inow where you are. I emigrated to a country like that and I find thenineexuriry is insufferable with the men here since men have been valued simply because they have penises and aren't expected to bring much else but their presence and money.

Not caring or even faithfulness.

[Opinion Owner]

The insecurity... i need to get a new phone screen

[Asker]

Yes!! It’s pretty similar here, especially since I live in a predominantly Muslim country and polygamy is “romanticized”

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I do to. Polygyny is cool. I think whenndine right itnwould sort out a lot of issues but, men are not manly enough right now to do it so it's function can be realised and its good be achieved. I am a big thumbs down on the male entitlement. Especially the emotionally incestuous mothers who keep this BS going.

[Asker]

Oh don’t get me started on those “boy moms”, they create insecure and emotionally immature boys for the rest of us ladies to deal with…

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you will get them to be honest here really especially when you used the word intimidated which already shattered their ego. I figured none of them will admit it. There are plenty of them who are indeed intimidated by independent women who earn their own money because these women are more successful than them. I am a stay at home mum for now because my kids are all still very young but I have my career ready to practise if I ever need to get back to work soon. They don’t favor career women because they can’t boss you around. You don’t to depend on them so they have zero control over you. Financial is the reason why abused victims can’t leave. They have nowhere to go. It is true that they rather take that feminine Mac Donald cashier than an accountant 😂 because they earn low income themselves so they have to go after someone within their league or else their masculinity will be ruined by her rejecting him. High status men are not afraid to approach independent boss ladies.

[Asker]

Yes this makes a lot of sense! With my friend’s case, a lot of the guys are actually intimidated by her because she makes so much more than them. Those guys felt like they wouldn’t be able to take on the provider role because she doesn’t need one. This is what I’ve witnessed to be happening to my friend so I was just trying to see if the guys on here could chime in.

[Summeroflove]

Well the right person comes along when the right person comes along. I can’t stand feminists but if someone’s a genuinely good person whose a “boss lady” honestly I would take her over a dependent.

Look, I would be fine if I made a comfortable living and a woman could stay home to focus on the kids and me. But at the end of the day someone who has no other ambition then to be dependent (being ambitious about family is ambition) I tell men to avoid these women. Because of the fact that most aren’t looking for love. Thhere looking for a easy life, protection, money, and things like that. And are notorious cheaters and when they find better or something happens to you. They’ll leave.

I want someone at the end of the day to need me because she needs love and companionship. Then to need me to keep the lights on and things like that. I’m very selective

[Asker]

Yes, I’m loving your take on this! I wish more guys have your mindset lol Of course you’d want to actually feel needed and loved while you’re in a relationship. A lot of relationships nowadays just seem too “transactional” for me, it’s still a give and take but it feels more like a business partnership rather than a life partnership.

[Summeroflove]

You’re right asker and when it’s something transactional the minute that someone finds someone who has better they’re gonna be gone. Not to mention if a man is working a high risk job and something happens she’s just gonna leave

[Summeroflove]

It’s not that all women would do that. But they marry low class women who they just slept with or just knocked up and wonder why it fails.

Same for women who marry low class men

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Culturally speaking, yep, your friend will be perceived as intimidating, for several reasons I think, perceived as not having room for a man in her life, perceived as superwoman, perceived as pariah even, since her social status is not in the minority. Perceptions I insist, it's not a reality. But perceptions drive the world of people. People don't understand people truly, at least not by default. It's a stage.

Strategically, what your friend could do to disband other's perceptions, for instance, is showing vulnerability, a true one ofc, it has to makes sense. That may encourage guys to modify their initial perception, to grasp that they're not facing the Superwoman they thought.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

correction: *status is in the minority

[Asker]

I can understand that perspective. I think she does struggle in showing her vulnerability because she’s used to being in position of power. She’s been getting concerned about her relationship status because she’s now in her mid 30s but I don’t think she’s willing to give up her time (towards her work) to nurture a relationship. She’s been asking me for advice so I’d like to get some insight from the guys on here

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Her struggle would make sense, a plausible flaw of the superwoman, or the superman for that matter, they both are at risk to turn into walking fortresses. Which is largely a socio-psychological roleplay, since your friend has been, like all of us, a child crying in a corner. This child inside does not magically disappear, we just pretend it did. So, yes, that's not gonna be easy for her to drop the roleplay, when this roleplay is important in the construction of her personality.

She will have to nurture, and she will have to balance. Because, yes, a relation isn't exactly a simple thing, nor a quick one in 2024 :D

[Asker]

I guess she’ll need to find her superman then. She does have high standards because she is a highly accomplished gal so she deserves someone who is on parr. But I do think she needs to remember that sacrifices and vulnerability in a relationship is very important. I don't know if she’s willing to do that

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well, "high standards" in the very specific area that is social status then, because, at the psychological level, superwoman and superman are probably "low standards" lol, in the sense that they are unaware and/or unwilling to invest time and effort in a relationship. Which qualifies them as... Not the best fit hehe

[Asker]

That’s true, given her current view on relationships I don’t think she’s ready to let her guard down just yet so it won’t work out.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Anyway, try to bring this topic of vulnerability with her, yes, I think it's really needed. At the very least, you will get a good, personal talk with a friend, that is something of value :)

[Asker]

Noted. Thanks so much for the insight, hope you have a great week ahead!

[MrOracle]

Intimidated? Where does anyone get these crazy ideas?

If you hated pastrami and you hated mustard even more, would you be intimidated by a pastrami sandwich with mustard? No - you just wouldn't want to have anything to do with the sandwich, because the sandwich would have no value for you.

That's what "independent boss ladies" are to men: of no value. We're not mad at them, and we certainly aren't intimidated by them, they just bring no value to the table, because everything they have to offer, we already have, or have no interest in getting from her, and she has nothing that we WANT from a woman.

As far as we are concerned, strong and independent women should go live their lives and stay away from us. Go, be strong and be independent. We won't stop you, and we won't think about you. Go do your thing. But don't be shocked that we're completely indifferent towards you. And don't come to us for help unless you are prepared to pay our professional rates.

If women want attention and ESPECIALLY relationships and romance from men, then they need to bring things to the relationship that men VALUE, just as women demand that men bring things to the relationship that women value.

If you go to the mall with an empty wallet and maxed credit cards, you can't be surprised when the stores don't let you take anything home, because you have nothing of value to trade for what you want. And if some other woman shows up to that same mall store with cash and credit cards with available credit, she'll be able to buy things and take them home, because she has value to trade. It's a very simple concept, and every woman understands it enough to demand value from a man - so why are so many women so surprised and offended that men want value too?

[Asker]

That’s very logical. I only mentioned “intimidated” because it was brought up by several of her guy friends. I understand that most men value traditional gender roles within the relationship and I appreciate that you acknowledge that strong independent women can exist, you just couldn’t be bothered by their existence. I guess she would be more suited to a guy who also has a similar mindset as her when it comes to relationships. I’ve been sharing the answers on here with my friend and it gives her a lot of clarity. She was under the impression that guys were intimidated by how much money she was making as she’s well aware that most guys prefer to be the main provider.

[faith_it]

Men like women who needs them. They don't like that. The problem with just relying on men or anyone not just men parents, or friend or relative is you cannot have independent decision on your own. Your life is based on them.

But that doesn't mean you will not accept financial support. That doesn't mean you don't prioritize your spouse and children. It is just better that whatever happens you can stand on your own, you can make personal decisions

I believe as a Christian if you wanna serve God you got to be independent

This is not a matter of being a man or woman anymore. I personally believe that herd mentality is dangerous. Most likely you will not be serving God but the people or this world.

[Billlewis]

Well said, madam.

[Asker]

I’m loving your perspective on this, thanks so much for sharing your wisdom!

[Drewtate]

Intimidating? No. Boring and exhausting.

[Asker]

Okay but I don't know what the pics got to do with your answer tho lol

[Drewtate]

Brighten your day

[Asker]

Well thanks! Seeing sydney sweeney always brightens up my day. Hope you’re having a good one

[RingOfFire]

I saw this exact same question here a few weeks ago or so.

I think women enjoy the concept of intimidating men. It's kind of like a wishful fantasy for them.

I don't find women like that intimidating, just unattractive.

Attractive to me is a woman who is focused on family. That's a woman's natural role and nature programmed men to be attracted to that.

If that wasn't the case we wouldn't be here today to discuss it.

If a woman chooses to have that kind of career, I'm all for it. Everyone has to choose their own path in life and do what they feel is best for themselves. But it's a turn off to me in a romantic relationship sense.

[Asker]

As a woman, I do enjoy intimidating men but only in the bedroom or when they are looking down on me. I’m short and look way younger than I do so most men doesn’t take me seriously in the workplace. But these aren’t the guys that I am also interested in romantically. I would never try to intimidate a guy that I’m interested in (except for in the bedroom if he’s into it).

It makes sense how men are more attracted to the family oriented ladies, because it’s a very feminine trait. I live in a traditional/conservative country so the gender roles are still very prominent. I do realize though sometimes it takes a real man to unlock the true femininity in a woman. I’ve seen way to many ladies who changed and learned to adapt by taking on more masculine traits after being hurt multiple times

[RingOfFire]

Interesting comments, thanks for sharing them.

[SugarSugarplum]

My guess is that guys who want to provide and protect are not attracted to women who absolutely have no need of them.
Guys who are lazy gamers and want a sugar mama would love a driven boss babe to pay for everything. Also, guys who just want to roll in the hay without commitment would probably love a boss babe - until she gets annoying.

[Asker]

That makes sense. Her last ex dated her because he was also emotionally unavailable so the relationship worked, even though it was distant (until he cheated on her…) I think she just needs to someone that has the same mindset as her

[BonzoInBitburg]

Independent boss ladies aren't intimidating at all, they're just not what we're looking for in a wife. I've had businesses most of my adult life and they take a lot of time. Business always comes before family and you need a supportive partner that understands that.

[Asker]

Understandable!

[ProbablyClueless]

It's not intimidation so much as recognizing that your friend just isn't available to date. Even if I didn't have a great career of my own, I still wouldn't want to date a woman like your friend because she's not able to provide the things I actually want from a woman in my life; namely emotional support and companionship.

[Asker]

Okay I mean that makes sense. Her last two relationships ended because she was unavailable and too caught up with work - I do think she needs to find the proper balance between work and a relationship before she should even consider dating again then

[ProbablyClueless]

Finding that balance between personal and professional life is extremely important. I have a lot of things going on, but I still find the time to be emotionally available for my partners. And again; I have a great, successful, high earning career. So it's not like having a successful career needs to come at the cost of your relationships. If it does, I would argue that it's probably important for something about that situation to change.

Any kind emotional unavailability, maybe competitiveness in the relationship (where the partners are trying to keep up with, or out do each other) is going to result in tension in the relationship. Many times, that tension is also sort of combative or argumentative, which is exhausting to deal with as well. A lot of guys simply don't look at women as providers; we're looking for different things. A big part of the reason that you are more successful with men than your friend is because most guys will look at a stay at home wife and be willing to work his ass off to make up the difference income to support an emotionally in tune woman.

Many times, the super professional, super career driven women haven't developed the kinds of traits we are actually looking for. You are more of t

[andreasderjuengere]

I am not intimidated --- but disinterested.

Such ladies are way to busy with doing what they think is a career... just (as in your friend's case) to find out late that this isn't the important or meaningful aspect in life.

Why would one build a bank account and fill one's surrounding with status symbols, but remain ''un-filled'' in most other areas of life?

[Asker]

This is exactly what my friend is feeling! She said that she felt like she was way too focused on building her career that she neglected her love life but now she’s already in her mid 30s.

[Anonymous]

No.

LMAO. Men will date, f—k, and impregnate & marry anything that they can.
Most of then are so down bad and pathetic they'll take just about anything.

Even independent boss ladied.
They just mad they can't control the boss lady. Like they could control a total broke loser

[Asker]

Yeah a lot of guys seem to feel emasculated when their girl isn’t fully dependent on them lol

[Opinion Owner]

As long as she’s young and attractive, they’ll go for her. 100% of the time

[Unit1]

Nope

Be aware however, that many men might not appreciate ladies having careers or they don't know how to keep such a lady satisfied and they do the worst things of all the things they could do either from inexperience or from their own stupidity. Or they're simply not looking for a career lady type.

[Asker]

This makes a lot of sense! Thanks so much for the clarity. She does need to find a proper man that would appreciate her hustle

[Unit1]

Easy theory 😎

[John_Cobretti]

We don't care what her career is

If she's a rude bitchy woman , no man wants her

Delusional to think Men are intimidated by women, men are just tired to have another bitchy character in their lives because most people they come across give them shit lol

[Asker]

I think people have a general misconception about “independent boss girls” - most people would assume that she’s rude and stuck up. I know a lot of boss girls and they’re all fun and easy going just very career oriented. My friend for example is happy go lucky, humble and very chill - she’s just focused on her business.

I guess it’s nice to know that a lot of guys doesn’t seem to care about their girl’s career as much. I’ve been insecure about my career because I’m not as far as I expected me to be at this age because I’ve been prioritizing my relationships over my career.

[John_Cobretti]

Yes that is of course a misconception
Like I heard somewhere on X... Men would go for a sweet easy going feminine woman who works at McDonalds over a woman who is rude and bitchy even if she has a Nobel prize lol
So if she has a great career it's awesome indeed , just that it's not a priority or doesn't impress men relative to being sweet and feminine

[John_Cobretti]

But what is "Boss girls" though? That name does sound like an arrogant and rude girl which men tend to avoid like the plague

[Anonymous]

You need to understand that your friend's lack of success in attracting and keeping a good man has nothing to do with intimidation. Women like that are just unappealing to the vast majority of men. They're not what we're looking for in a woman. It's honestly surprising to me why so many women don't understand why that is.

[Asker]

I’m starting to get that. The thing is tho, she’s pretty, friendly, very outgoing and overall is a chill person. She’s nothing at all like the stereotypical boss girls who are portrayed to be bossy or bitchy. So I don’t get why someone like her would be seen as unappealing

[Opinion Owner]

You said yourself her last two relationships didn’t work out because she was way too focused on her work, so they broke up for exactly the reasons I said. Women like that make poor partners/wives, and even worse mothers.

[Opinion Owner]

And now that she's in her mid 30s, she has missed the boat for having a family with a man, and she's competing with younger women who are better able to bear and raise a man's children, and life priorities are far better aligned with his.

[Asker]

The thing is tho she was upfront about it with her exes and they seemed to be okay with it in the beginning. She only dated guys who are also workaholics but I think her exes thought that they’d love having a non-clingy independent sufficient girl only for them to realize that they want a girl that will demand their attention from time to time lol

[Anonymous]

No men do not find“independent boss ladies” intimidating, they just do not have much of anything we'd want, They act more like men than women, they seem to think that the same list of things they want in a man is what men want in women when nothing could be further from the truth, when men are considering a woman they do not care how much money they earn, what there level of education is etc.

[Asker]

I see, thanks for sharing this. I guess I’ve always kinda thought that guys feel burdened about having to be the provider/leader in the relationship because I’ve seen a lot of guys complaining about always having to pay for dates blablabla. So I figured then an independent boss babe would be perfect for them.

[Anonymous]

I always shake my head when women use the term "intimidating" in this context. I suppose it makes them feel better because it shifts the focus off themselves when they don't have success with men. The reality is that if men found “independent boss ladies” attractive, they would go after them. But they don't, and women need to stop lying to themselves about why “independent boss ladies” fail with men.

[Asker]

I guess I do notice that with my friend at least, most guys don’t even bother to approach her because she’s very career oriented. Her last two relationships failed because she prioritized her work over everything else. In that sense I can see why “boss ladies” would be an unattractive option for a guy to choose to be in a relationship with

[Opinion Owner]

The career thing is only one component.

[Asker]

What would the other components be then?

[Opinion Owner]

Men are attracted to femininity, not masculinity.

Unlike women, men are not attracted to a provider.

There is no room for two dominant personalities in a romantic relationship.

“Independent boss ladies” tend to have personality types that are unappealing to men. They tend to not know how to treat a man the way a man wants to be treated.

The life priorities of those women are not consistent with those of most men. Think about it... what does an independent boss woman bring to the table for a man if he's not interested in a provider? Will she be a good mother to his children if her career is her priority? Paying daycare workers to raise your children is not being a good mother.

Will she be a good wife is her career is her priority? Nope.

Today's women have changed, but what men value in women never will.

[Asker]

Ah I see that makes sense. I guess that explains why I get approached more often because I’m perceived as much more traditional. I thought it was a bad thing that I’m seemingly more “dependent” compared to my boss girl friend that has her shit together. I guess it’ll work out if she were to find a man who shares a similar mindset to her.

[Nikki1989]

Most wouldn't mind at all. It is only the insecure types that like to make of an issue of it.

[Asker]

True, some of these guys just don’t know how to handle a boss girl lol

[DextroShade]

We're not "intimidated" by them anymore than we are "intimidated" by a pile of dogshit on the ground. We avoid these women because they tend to masculine, annoying, and don't make good wives or girlfriends.

[Asker]

Okay that makes sense, she just doesn’t have what you’re looking for in a woman

[RavVid]

We are never intimidated by women, Most likely men just don;t like her and she is invisible.

[Asker]

I’m having a hard time seeing that men don’t like her, she’s attractive, very popular and outgoing. I don't know what about her makes her “undatable”

[RavVid]

I can't genuinely respond as to why since I don't I can't observe her. In what way is she popular?

Intimidating is really a code for for women men don't find appealing because that transfers the problem to men. Intimidating just means unappealing.

[Asker]

She has tons of friends and guys enjoy hanging out with her, she’s always the center of the attention and gets invited to a lot of events as a speaker. I used the word “intimidating” bcs that what a couple of our guy friends (who were interested in her) have said about her after they found out how much she makes and how she doesn’t seem like she “needs” a man.

[RavVid]

OK. I'd still say intimidating is not the right word. Guys like girls to be shorter and girls like guys to be taller. The same applies to income.

There are girls I like hanging out with but whom I have no interest in. For myself there have been only two girls in the past three months who I have been interested in as I liked their nature.

I think the way it works is we are pretty quick to sum up to this person is suitable and this person is not. It might be she just doesn't come across as valuing relationships whilst others do. The two girls I was interested in had qualities I liked.

[Asker]

Understandable! I’m aware that guys prefer to take on the main provider role so my friend earning a high income and being her own boss might complicate that dynamic huh

[RavVid]

Yes but I think there is a more fundamental thread that has existed for eons. A woman gaining a high value husband through her beauty, grace and charm gives her status. That was possible within harems as well. One Chinese empress arrived at court with 20 concubines as part of her retinue. Even within a competitive harem environment an emperor might find one woman particularly congenial. King's mistresses had power and status.

It doesn't work in the reverse because men are expected to make their own way to the top. They don't get status from marrying well and more likely disparagement as a toyboy.

Queen Victoria's husband Albert never got the title of King and had to make do with being a Prince. However every wife of an English King has got the title of Queen.

[Truthatanycost]

Anything that makes a woman less feminine is less attractive.

[Asker]

What if she’s ultra feminine appearance wise and in her demeanor? She’s just capable of fully supporting herself financially and is career oriented

[Truthatanycost]

It would depend on what job she was doing and whether the job involved having to have masculine traits in order to get the job done. If not, then she would do perfectly fine. But the issue is, many do not realise how their job effects them.

[Asker]

She’s an interior designer so I think it’s a pretty gender neutral job, she’s very creative and still feminine - which is why I’m having a hard time seeing why guys would avoid dating her. Because she’s pretty, feminine, outgoing and doesn’t even work in a masculine industry so I don't know what gives

[Truthatanycost]

It sounds like some other reason then. I am really curious as to what that could be.

[Truthatanycost]

Further down you said 'I think she does struggle in showing her vulnerability because she’s used to being in position of power.'

That does not sound very feminine so would be one of the issues.

[Asker]

Oh I guess that could be the culprit then because other than that I don’t see anything that would make her unappealing to date.

[Truthatanycost]

The sort of past she's had with men also comes into play. That is not something another women is likely to understand or notice. The most beautiful woman can be avoided if she has a questionable past or been into hookup or promiscuity.

[Anonymous]

Disgusting really, such women don't have time to be real women, so they might as well be men. This makes them basically useless in to a man in terms of relationships.

[Asker]

I think these ladies just have different priorities and that’s okay. I understand that it would make it very hard for them to date but I don’t think it’s wrong for wanting to be independent.

[Opinion Owner]

You asked why she would be less interesting in terms of a relationships to a guy. I told you, you did not ask for a moral analyses of her choices.

But if you want that we can argue about a persons responsibility to their culture and family to carry on the torch of life as i had been for them. Thus her choice of devotion to personal or her employers well-being at the expense of her family is in the grand scheme of things a very unethical choice.

But if the individual's idea of personal gratification is all that matters then life on earth just like every human civilization would have gone extinct billions of years ago, just as her family line is dying as a result of her by definition "new" "priories".

[Asker]

That makes sense. I can see why she would be unattractive for some men because she doesn’t have what they’re looking for in a woman. I just am not agreeing with what you said about how these ladies don’t have time to be a “real” woman. I think these ladies would have to date men who are not all about the traditional gender roles.

I’m a traditional girl so I am looking for a traditional men. My friend is not traditional so she definitely won’t be attractive to the majority of men out there since most men are usually somewhat traditional (or at least believe in gender roles).

[Malwi93]

i wouldn't say they are intimidating. most people just go for people that would serve them, thats common sense

[Malwi93]

and what can one with an independent boss lady?

[Asker]

Oh yeah that makes sense. I mean an independent boss lady can still serve and offer many things as well, she just gotta find the right man

[Billlewis]

What can one do when they encounter an independent boss lady? Roll up my sleeves and get to work;)

[Surely]

Never knew or had any opportunity to date a boss lady. Would never dated one that I worked for! Probably my laid back lifestyle wouldn’t be her choice.

[Asker]

I think it’s definitely a matter of compatibility!

[Meropatrick]

Unless she dates a guy who is a bigger boss than her. Or equal. Otherwise many men will not like tht

[Asker]

How come? Is it because of how much money she’s making?

[Meropatrick]

Not only money but the attention and respect she might get from others. If its more than what he gets he would really feel intimidated

[Meropatrick]

But on the other hand there are some men who woulf take advantage of her financially. So she might find such a guy who is after her money

[Asker]

Is it wrong to want your partner to be well respected by others though? I mean my friend does get a lot of attention and respect in her own field but her field of work is not male dominated so I don’t think she’d be stepping on her man’s toes

[Anonymous]

I have seen these women in business. They rise quickly because of DEI. Nothing impressive there with most of them. They actually cause damage. They tend to forget after a year in the job that they were installed for DEI purposes.

[Asker]

I don't know what DEI is but I don’t think we have that in our country lol. My friend also built her own business so she wasn’t hired bcs she’s a women but she hired herself and is her own boss

[Opinion Owner]

Then she did great. DEI is a program in the US to advance women and minorities in companies and government even if they are not qualified. It also extended to women-owned companies which in many cases are men making their wife CEO in order to get business. It is a bad program that makes things worse as unqualified people are dropped into senior positions.

[Asker]

Ah okay! I went to uni in the states and I think I got an easier pass because I’m a minority, I was well aware of that privilege though and I worked hard to graduate with honors

[Opinion Owner]

Congratulations on your Degree!

[Asker]

Thank you! And thank you for sharing your opinion, I learned something new from it. Have a great one!

[Inthelines]

Yes I believe that in a marriage, the man should go out and earn money, while the woman should stay at home and take care of the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the children.
This is natural

[Asker]

So are you intimidated by a girl who can take on the masculine role then? Or would you simply just stay away from these girls because they won’t be able to offer what you’re looking for in a woman?

[Inthelines]

I believe that women should be women and men should be men.

[thearchjoker]

Their not intimidating their just not appealing

[Asker]

In what way are they not appealing to you tho?

[magiusX26]

nope. thry are just irritating, manly, and annoying.

[Asker]

I think that’s just a stereotype. A girl can be both feminine while still being independent and self sufficient.

[magiusX26]

facts prove otherwise. it takes masculine traits for the successes required to be a "boss babe" such as argumentative.

[Asker]

Well she’s in the service industry, she’s an interior designer/decorator so her main job is to be able to build a fun and trusting relationship with her clients, being creative and being understanding (all of which are feminine traits). Being argumentative would get her nowhere in this case. So in her field, in order to be a boss babe, she’d really have to emphasize her femininity

[magiusX26]

is she actually the boss though? if yes, then she likely displays those masculine traits more as part of the other areas of that line of work such as ordering items, paints, parts and/or telling her employees what to do, how or where to arrange things, arguing with contractors to get deadlines accomplished. more to the point though, the term "boss babe" (lady as you originally put it in your initial question) reffers to a certain mindset and attitude which is proven, 100% of the time to very much be masculine and does not actually imply any sort of leadership role as the "boss" part would seem to indicate as that term in that particular phrase is a misnomer slang-ish usage along the lines of liking something being reffered to as "hot, cool, smokin, etc". now if your intent was to ask if a female being an actual boss (think manager/in charge of things such as the company) but still be feminine, yes it is possible but then the "boss lady/babe" has next to nothing to do with it and would lead me to think you failed to differentiate the two areas of thinking.

[Asker]

She is, she founded her own company but she mostly work with female employees except for her contractor/engineers. I guess in the eyes of the guys that work under her (like the contractors) she can appear as overly dominant and demanding but she is their boss so I don’t see anything wrong with that. She doesn’t boss around the guys that she’s interested in dating and these guys won’t see her in action at work so they most likely won’t see her dominant side either.

[magiusX26]

never mentioned employee's gender as it does not matter in this case.

[gag6474]

nipe but i woudnt consider a educated or career woman marriage material for me

[Asker]

I can see why you don’t want a career focused woman but I still think having an educated partner is important especially if you’re considering marriage

[LiamJHayden]

Nope. Sometimes annoying and unbearable, but not intimidating.

[Asker]

What would make her annoying and unbearable tho?

[jahaims]

Nope, but those women are usually delusional and too masculine for a healthy relationship

[Asker]

Oh interesting take, delusional how? I can see how she could be seen as masculine or more like “less traditionally feminine” but I don't know which part of being an independent boss lady make her delusional tho

[Shiningtempest]

To be honest, I consider "independent boss ladies" to be incompatible with my leisure-oriented lifestyle.

[Asker]

That’s totally valid, to each their own

[CubaPirate]

Not really to me because I'm quite a confident person 🙂

[Asker]

That’s awesome, confidence is sexy

[CubaPirate]

Thanks confidence is good but I'm not arrogant

[Asker]

Yep it’s all about finding a balance

[Anonymous]

Which of you is hotter? Who has the better body?

[Asker]

Tbh it’s probably me lol we’ve both talked about it and agreed but that’s only because I eat clean and work out 3-4x a week. She’s still really pretty, has great style and presents herself really well. We just have opposite aesthetics.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, eating clean and working out regularly will definitely make for a VERY hot bod! lol! What's your best feature: boobs or butt? And what about your friend?

It could be that your greater attractiveness is playing a larger role in your success with guys than your career choices.

[ManInChains]

They’re just not fun to be around

[Asker]

Why not?

[ManInChains]

They care more about their job than their partner. My mom for example she hasn’t been with anyone since she cheated and divorced my dad. She’s always focusing on work. No time for a life partner. Women don’t know how to balance work with the rest of their life. They’re meant to stay at home

[Asker]

Ah that makes sense. It was the case with my friend as well, she neglected her relationship so her ex ended up cheating on her bcs she was never available

[paledreams]

Not gonna date one lucky me 😈

[Asker]

Why not?

[paledreams]

I'm clearly spoiling myself, and giving back to society daily through taxes and more - just being another single working man not overpopulating either - ♂️

[Easy1134]

I love strong women. It's a refreshing change.

[Asker]

Yes!! I do think there are multiple definitions of what a strong woman is though. There is strength in both femininity and masculinity in their own ways.

[Anonymous]

What even is an independent boss lady?

[Asker]

Basically women who are their own bosses, they’re self sufficient and doesn’t rely on anyone else financially (or even emotionally)

[Opinion Owner]

Why would a man want a woman who doesn't have any emotional needs from a man? Honest question.

[Asker]

I guess that’s why most men avoid these ladies.

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

Repulsive, not intimidating.

[Asker]

Oh, how come?

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

Yup. I don't like people who are domineering, hypercompetitive, prideful, loud-mouthed, and obsessed with achievements. I *certainly* don't want to deal with these personality traits in a girlfriend / wife. Screw her money / wealth. I don't care, especially if she's unpleasant to be around.

[Asker]

Okay so hypothetically, if there were 2 girls with similar easy going personalities and looks but one is a boss lady and the other is unemployed - you’d rather go for the unemployed lady?

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

Depends on why a woman is unemployed. If she has full work history and is simply between jobs, then that's fine. Somebody who is chronically unemployed without a compelling reason = no from me.

I don't mind a successful woman. I simply don't like the personality traits that often accompany them.

[Asker]

Okay that’s very reasonable. Thanks so much for taking the time to clear things up, have a great week ahead!

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

You're welcome. And same to you.

[Anonymous]

Only to weak, controlling narcissists

[Asker]

100%!

[Anonymous]

Intimidating.😆 awww, that's cute.

[Asker]

😬 how else would you describe these ladies then?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly? Typically a b****. I mean that's generally an interchangeable word for "independent". There are very few actual independent women. Most simply actually just mean they're very demanding with high expectations. But for the sake of peace let's assume she really is everything you say she is. It simply means the pool for her is much smaller for her. I for example like to consider myself relatively successful. High 6 figure net worth. But I probably would not consider a woman like this. You can call me intimidated if you like. But I'm not. I know my worth. I know what I bring to the table. And by the way you describe this woman it suggests we're not a match. Maybe 20 years. Ago we might have been. But I don't measure success anymore by what other people think of me. And I certainly wouldn't want to date a partner who did.
I hope this helps you.
My advice to your friend would be to tell her you make choices in life. And she chose a path of lesser options. And demanding men bend to her will just isn't going to work. Nor is wasting her time time trying to belittle them into falling in line. If she truly wants success in this area she simply going to have to work at it as hard as she claims to be in her occupational life.

[Asker]

On the contrary, she’s actually sweet and outgoing. But she is emotionally available I would say. Most of the guys that approached her only backed down because they felt intimidated by how much she’s making and they also said that they don’t feel “needed” by her. I understand that most men have a drive to be the provider (be it in the form of time, money, attention, love or even sex).

My friend has low libido and doesn’t need a man to provide for her financially, she just needs a companion I guess. I can see why that would repel men from dating her. Her being in her mid 30s, I think she’s only just now realizing that she spent her youth too focused on her career and is starting to worry about her neglected love life.

I’m proud of her achievements of course but I do share her concerns about her lackluster love life. It’s sad to see that she’s even reaching out to her ex again (who’s already engaged to someone else) because she’s scared she won’t be able to pull anyone else…

[Opinion Owner]

Well, your mind is made up so it's pointless to talk to you. I wish your friend luck.👍

[Asker]

I am agreeing with you tho, I’m just sharing additional information based on what I’ve seen happened to my friend. But thank you, I also wish you luck in your future endeavors!!

[Opinion Owner]

No, you're not agreeing me. Or we have different definitions of what "intimidating" means. I'll agree that these guys might have felt they couldn't have satisfied her. But that not being intimidated. It's simply not feeling of use. Things are not as black and white as you'd like them to be here.

[Asker]

That’s what they said to me though, “intimidated” were the exact words that they said to me. I do think some guys could be intimidated to date certain types of women and vice versa. It’s a normal human emotion after all

[Opinion Owner]

If you say so. I don't think I've ever found a woman I timidating. What's to be intimidated about. Nothing.

[Asker]

That means that you’re self assured and is comfortable in your own masculinity. I’m guessing only the insecure men would be intimidated by a boss lady. Thanks so much for your input tho, have a great one!

[Opinion Owner]

Or they're just telling you're they're intimidated as a means to and end.
Np. Take care!

[MasterKS]

whoever at the end all fucked like same way! LOL!

[Asker]

I don’t get it lol

[MasterKS]

Whoever the lady, at the end everyone fucked in a same way! No difference! 😂

[Asker]

Oh lol. But different ladies have their own way of fucking/receiving a fucking. So you just gotta find the right girl that can show you a new world of what it’s like to fuck 😌

[MasterKS]

The basic process is same, face down, butt up and bang it! 😂

[EnjoytheDay777]

No, they're hot.

[Asker]

They sure are!! Being independent is very attractive

[Kingofkings1992]

Lmao.

[Asker]

Lmao