Do guys get over their first love?

Question

Keyboardkat · Accepted Answer

As a guy, I can tell you that you never forget your first love. That doesn't mean you mope and pine over her for the rest of your life, or that you can't love someone else and have a relationship, a marriage and a family. It just means that this person who was your first love left a strong imprint on your mind and you psyche, which you will carry with you for the rest of your days. And it's a life experience which, among many others you have had and will have, will ultimately end up bringing you to something like wisdom. In my case, I had two girls whom I loved very much (at different times) and who would qualify for this status in my history! And my wife of 53 years isn't like either of them! Go figure!

worldscolide · Accepted Answer

It took me years, but I did. I still think about her though. Not in a romantic way, more in a "I hope she's happy, healthy and safe" kind of way.

Summeroflove · Answer

It depends on the guy but I think somebody’s first love is powerful because it’s the first time you ever felt such intense emotions as well as if it was during your younger more innocent years it was pure, innocent, as well as wholesome and yet still so passionate. You can sleep with 1,000 people but you’ll never feel something like that.

As people become more polluted with toxic relationships, cheating, being cheated on, one night stands, causal dating, having friends with benefits, etc. Having a connection with something is like nothing. Having sex is just like ordering a coffee at Starbucks until eventually someone doesn’t even know what love is anymore all they do is bounce partner to partner, having some sexual thrill is all that makes them happy anymore.

It’s such a sad reality so many people live in. Some people don’t sone people do genuinely find love but many don’t. Especially because there are times they think they found it and become so disgruntled by hellbent hearts.

HawkPerception · Answer

I'm completely over all my exes. I sometimes think about the sex (I can't help that), but I'm definitely well over them.

I move on pretty quickly as well. They all left me and when someone doesn't see my value, I say what's the point of being with them then? My dream girl is a girl that's into me as much as I'm into her and is will stay with me through thick and thin.

ManOnFire · Answer

I got over her, yeah. Back then you thought the world of that person and thought there was none other like them. Fast forward to now and she is just a memory of someone in my past. I'm sure I am just a memory for her as well, if even that much.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I still occasionally think about Victoria 54 years later. But I would have no interest in trying to reconnect with her if I was single.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Really depends on the guy. I got a friend who can away from any relationship and not think twice about it once he’s made up his mind. But not all guys are like that.

But generally it’s a huge myth that guys get over relationships easier then women do. That’s usually because:

Men have less leeway to show their negative emotions after a break up (e. g. sadness/crying). They internalize it more.
Men have less leeway to show their negative emotions during a break up with soon to be ex. We are more constrained by women/society not to show anger in this moment because we might be “threatening”. We often get a lot less (if any) closure. I know had this bs happen to me more then once in my life. I was unfairly labeled a “potential violent threat” when in reality my soon to ex just wanted to avoid the emotional discomfort of allowing me to speak my mind. She knew I would never get violent but she just wanted to avoid me calling her out on her bs. Avoid any guilt for her decision. This extremely unfair double standard gnaws on a lot men later.
Women typically “mentally break up” with a man much further in advance. They process it and are prepared to move on when judgment day comes. Men are often caught off guard here.
When all else is equal (looks, personality, social status) dating is a lot easier for women in the early stages of dating compared to men. It’s easier for her to find someone else quickly even if it’s just a rebound. Men are less judgmental of heart broken women then vice versa.

So when you combine all the factors above break ups are usually harder on men then women. There is statistical data to back this up.

art84 · Answer

I can't cause everytime I pass by our old church I remember asking her out after Sunday evening service. What eventually made me get over her was when she got married and had a baby. Even got to saw her a church merger after she had the newborn baby. Didn't talk to her but felt feelings of sadness seeing her with another guy. I was 23 years old and she was 19 years old. She was only girl I ever asked out and loved and couldn't stop thinking about her. Guess you call it puppy love or a first crush. She even invited me to her daughters birthday though I didn't want to go and see her and bring back painful memories of my youth and 20's.

236color · Answer

I agree with @keyboardkat and @worldscolide both. I would add that's it's a little hard to define what qualifies as "first love". For me it could be the first girl I noticed wasn't "icky" at 9, the first girl I actually dated at 14, or more likely, the girl I left home still pining for at 18. I remember all of them. They're part of who I am. The last on that list, I have met since then, (as has my wife). I still like her, but I don't love her. I'm not sure that I really understood the concept of love at the time. I longed for a situation that never existed, fueled by loneliness and horniness. Was that love? Could it have become love? Maybe, had I not been who I was at the time. I have become convinced that, at a certain time in a young man's life, he forms these secret unrequited attachments because he's not yet ready to be a real life lover. I remember the lessons I've learned, but I've graduated.

imtiaz45 · Answer

Yes, many guys do get over their first love, but the experience can leave a lasting impression. The intensity of first love often shapes future relationships, and while the emotions may fade, the memories and lessons learned often remain. Some people hold onto nostalgia, while others move on completely. How quickly someone moves on depends on their emotional resilience, the depth of the relationship, and their ability to process the experience. While first loves are significant, most people eventually find new connections and emotional growth through other relationships.

abc3643 · Answer

I think so. It took a long time. Eventually, though, my fourth girlfriend was the one I wanted to marry and that wiped out any hang-ups I had over previous failed loves.

However, it's been almost 33 years since she left me. I've moved on, but I will never get over that loss. I've been a zombie since, really. I await death to ease my pain.

hahahmm · Answer

Years. And the second deep relationship I had probably took 3 months for me to feel normal again. After that I was cured. Now, no matter how deeply I'm into her, if she cheated I can flip a light switch and be moving on before you can say 'u-haul is down the street'

coxoabean · Answer

I was told by several guys that there is that one girl for every guy. That one girl that will always be in his heart, and will have mattered to him more than any other. Not that he can't love again, or get into new relationships, but that there will always be that one girl that a guy wanted, yet couldn't have, or sometimes they do get her. So, if THAT girl was a guys first love, I'd assume he could get over her, but always have her in his heart

ManInChains · Answer

They do. It just takes far longer than it does for women. Women can have another guy in minutes if she wanted. Men have no choice but to wait years until someone comes along. It's easy to forget someone when you have someone new to dull the pain. Without it, you have no choice but to dwell on the memories, knowing someone else has what you did. To some it's frustrating to no end. To others it's just a dull ache they carry everywhere they go.

BikingTrail · Answer

Yes, mine was in high school. Have not really thought about her in 20 years, except I looked her up on facebook out of curiosity a couple times, but no way do i miss her

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

I don’t believe they do… I caught my ex looking up his first love when we were together. He hadn’t seen her for over 20 years.

Anonymous · Answer

Never. You never get over your first true love. Life isn’t fairytales and like the movies. There isn’t always a happily ever after. Although I love my wife and love having her as the mother of my kids she’s not my one true love. She’s not my soulmate. I let that one get away. My wife was the next best option.

Nik1hil · Answer

Not entirely..  It's becomes like a Dry Tumbleweed. If she returns , it's like adding water of Tumbleweed. Otherwise we are loyal to our girl!

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

My first love was a wicked twisted road  reckless kelly

Apple1996 · Answer

They don't. That's why many of them become sour towards women

Nirmroth · Answer

Yes, full no contact helped. Now I just wish she's happy but I would never take her back.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

Honestly a guy's "first love" is usually more of a "first lust." So yeah, guys get over their first love/lust when they find some other girl to get excited about.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Yes we do given enough time you can get over anything

WhitneySnow · Answer

I think most people of any gender never get over their first love

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Oh yeah for sure. It was a nice experience in my past, but it was time to move on.

Radiate143 · Answer

They may get over their first love but, they never recover from their first heartbreak and every woman after that usually suffers.

Anonymous · Answer

Depends what you mean by get over her. I never forgot her, wondered what could have been but didn't like over her, remembered her birthday but otherwise got on with my life and assumed she was forever lost.

exitseven · Answer

I am over her but I still remember her and the time we sent together. I am glad we met but also glad I ended up with who I did.

Anonymous · Answer

No. And first love means first person they were truly in love with, right? Not first relationship. No.

TheLovelyWoman · Answer

Nope. My ex came back a year after we broke off.

Med_guy1978 · Answer

I fell in love many many times but regret not ending up with a couple, I got over all of them sooner or later.

Juxtapose · Answer

Oh absolutely I have. I don't stay attached to people who don't want me because that is pathetic and I have more control over myself than that.

Jennz6 · Answer

It wasn’t love, he just wanted to get some pussy

Anonymous · Answer

My husband don’t ever mention it, don’t ever talk about her, and he even forgot the person name. Never heard nothing about it all these years

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yeah, sadly it happened, both of our mistakes.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Get over? Yes Forget? Never!

Crazzyyworld · Answer

My friend said people only love once. Maybe.. I mean once you fail the first love second one is just replacement?

MrGSpotHer · Answer

It all depends what happens, I don't believe someone can really stop loving someone even if they should or want to

TheRealPepperPotts · Answer

I don't think so.

Nifrayu · Answer

I'm still in love with my first love and my second, but I moved on.

Nerdvana · Answer

No, but no one gets over their first love. We just have to move on.

Anonymous · Answer

It took me probably over 20 years, but it did happen. Now I rarely think about her. But there were years when it was a rare day when I didn't.

anastasia_521 · Answer

Nope like he's still with me even after 5 years

dragoblack · Answer

Not really. They will always be in our mind, we just learn to get over it

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

That is a no for me. I was 9 she was 10 and she was the one I will never forget.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Damn, I would hope so.

Bricealan · Answer

Not well, and it still hurts.

bowenw · Answer

I got over mine but never forgot it or any others

Alex-Snow · Answer

Maybe but they will always remember it

LiamJHayden · Answer

I get over every ex within days.

Anonymous · Answer

How do you mean?

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

this is why im never gonna be with a man cuz wth

slatyb · Answer

Yes, we do.

thearchjoker · Answer

Yes.

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes, some guys, but it's not easy.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Absolutely

power_wolf · Answer

yeah. she's fat now

Flower2006 · Answer

Nope

Vegasrunner · Answer

Of course

Dongie · Answer

In about 10 minutes.

dudeinohio · Answer

Absolutely

In_Trance · Answer

Some do, some don't

Do guys get over their first love?

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Yeah, sadly it happened, both of our mistakes.

Do guys get over their first love?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Yeah, sadly it happened, both of our mistakes.

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