Do girls have friends with benefits because he won't commit to relationship? Am I the safe option (found out she had friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend had a friends with benefits and i feel like i might just be the back up option because he wouldn't commit to a relationship. I noticed girls will have friends with benefits guy hoping he commits. Would you guys recommend move on and find a new relationships. Also maybe she will cheat becase she misses what she did with him? since she was clearly happy to have be with him with no commmitment for a long time.

Updates

1 y

I feel I could be a backup option basically

[IAskYouAnswer]

Ok I gotta be honest, I've been in somewhat of a similar situation so I can only give you some light on what it may have been like for the girl's pov.

I was in a situationship once with this guy who was really good at pleasuring me. He prioritized my pleasure above his own (which is very rare for most guys) and we didn't even have actual sex--just foreplay. So I ended up developing respect and strong sexual attachment towards him. He was also my first sexual experience so there's also that. We didn't last due to the military, he had to leave.

I've had a couple relationships since then but I still think about him sometimes as the subject of my sexual fantasies because he just does it BETTER. Even though I did liked my later partners romantically, my sexual relationship with them has often felt transactual and not really as pleasurable whereas my experience with the first guy was once in a blue moon. I never cheated with my previous relationships nor did I ever contacted him during those times (my pride prevented me from reaching out to past partners), but as shameful as it is to admit, I still fantasize about being in a friends with benefits relationship with him even if its just in my imagination.

Take this info as you will. And do what you feel would be right for you.

[osmanthus]

Unsure if this is truly the case. I mean, a couple could be married and still have friends with benefits, anyhow, so, commitment has already been established. Many married people don't tell people they have friends with benefits even when marriage isn't much geared towards having multiple partners sexually or otherwise. If this is something that deeply bothers you then you can choose to talk to her about it or maybe leave the relationship if exclusivity is a mandatory requirement for you.

[ManOnFire]

A lot of women settle for fwbs with a guy who won't commit, yes. But they also often willingly choose it because they're sexually attracted to a guy and want only sex from him but they would never marry him, meanwhile they are romantically attracted to another guy and want him for a relationship but aren't entirely sexually attracted to him.

You might be that guy. Really not sure. But if she's keeping in touch with the old friends with benefits then I would definitely walk in my opinion. Holding on to a chick who still longs for a guy she used to fuck - or maybe even still is - is never good, and only ends up hurting you in the end.

[BetaBucks]

Yes and yes. The sexually submit to the guys who give them nothing then they commit to boring relationships to the guys that give them everything.

[Nikki1989]

It is just sex. People blow it up into something it really isn't.

[Asker]

Yeah but men dont want to be the safe option meanwhile their girl would rather be screwing some other guy if she had the choice.

[SweetJoyGirl]

So, does she still seem attached to him?

[Asker]

No she never mentions him but I've seen girls doing this safe option thing before where they will fuck guys then settle with somoene they see as safe.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Why are you worried about a guy you don’t know if she has feelings for? She probably doesn’t and you are here worrying your head off.

[Asker]

I suppose its not about feeling its about wishing she was screwing him instead since she happilly did before without being in relationship. I don't know maybe its a man thing women can't understand.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Oki, but did she say she wanted to screw him, now? If she didn’t, why are you bringing it up?