Friends with benefits got a girlfriend even though he said he didn't want a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I had a friends with benefits situation for about a year with one of my closest guy friends. Throughout our time together, he specifically said that he "wasn't emotionally available for a relationship" (basically made it very clear that he would never want to be more than just friends with benefits). I also didn't want anything more at the time which is why I agreed to friends with benefits. However, he broke off the friends with benefits situation a year later and immediately started dating. And it's been two months since we stopped and he already has a girlfriend. I am happy for him but how can he suddenly be "emotionally available" for someone? What does that even mean? I can't help feeling that I was only worth sleeping with and nothing more. I'm also really hurt because our friendship really crumbled after the friends with benefits situation and now I've sorta lost a friend and feel like I was worth nothing.

Updates

+1 y

I should also mention that his behavior was very weird when we were friends with benefits. He'd say things like he was being romantic with me, he'd come over "only for cuddles", he'd try to kiss me and put his arm around me in public even though i was always specific about not wanting to do anything in public, he'd get mad when I'd talk about my past crushes and tried to kiss me so I'd stop

Updates

+1 y

... these behaviors felt relationship-y but I always took his word for the fact he didn't want anything more, but I guess now I feel a little used for more than what friends with benefits is supposed to be.

[CurlyGirl42]

Ah sorry to hear this story.. I do personally not completely believe in the: 'I am emotionally unavailable'. I think one can be more or less ready for an emotional connection, and If you meet someone you genuinely like and see potential with, then that can change.
So I'm afraid to tell you that I think he did not see potential for a relationship with you. It can be tough both being friends and having sex, and I avoid that if I could see myself in a relationship with the guy.
Of course you are worth a bunch! This guy does not show it and maybe could not handle having sex and being a good friend. Maybe he is just engulfed in the new relationship and will find more time for friends later. This happen even for the best of girlfriends. Wish all the best for you getting through this.

[nerdybutlazy]

This is gonna sound mean but the guys will probably say the same thing. The "with you" was silent. He didn't want a relationship with you, that's all there really is to it. Unless he went on some life improvement movement after he left, he just didn't want to take you seriously because he probably felt like he didn't have to.
However, there's a chance he just met the right girl for him after you guys stopping sleeping together and he chose to change, you can't make a man open up to you, that's his choice. It's not your fault in my opinion you just got played that's all.

[SlothySlob]

Too many variables to properly pinpoint your problem.
Maybe he was looking for a relationship, just not with you.
Maybe he couldn't see a future with you.
Maybe at the time he needed sexual release, you were easy enough, then he didn't feel any love from him because he's a hypocritical ass who wanted a relationship even if he said he didn't.
Maybe he wanted to be one of the cool kids and have friends with benefits because everyone has one and he didn't.

However you look at it, he used you to fulfill his sexual desire, as you did. Then a girl came along that he fancies, asked her out, she said yes and thought, it would be a good idea to dump the side bitch to make sure I come across as clean.

[boggboss]

But when it came to more then friendship that is all you was good for as he made it clear he would never want a relationship with you and as for the friendshil its a no brained that it would breakdown as soon as he found a partner as he would never be able to explain you are just a friend even tho you use to fuck welcome to the world of friends with benefits

[boggboss]

Its called keeping you sweet

[Anonymous]

Because he know you have low self esteem and most probably not attractive. Only such a woman can give away free sex for a guy who would never want her to be his girlfriend. He found a high standard attarctive woman with a good self esteem basically someone who is the girlfriend or wife material and started dating her.

And you're saying that you feel like you're worth nothing? I guess that's also one of the reason why you gave away your body for free.

I don't really understand the mentality of such women who can give up their body free for any guy to use and then comes crying when he use her and drop her.

No guy would ever want a relationship or a future with a woman who is up for hookup or friends with benefits, because it's just logic, if you can sleep with him for free, you can do it for anyone.

Please get therapy.

[spartan55]

Wow, you are seriously naive. He didn't want a relationship with YOU, he just wanted to fuck you. That's what friends with benefits is... duh. Why ANY girl ever gets into an friends with benefits is beyond me. You agree to fuck a guy who doesn't respect you enough to be in a relationship, and you are surprised when it goes to shit? So stupid...

[spartan55]

Re your update: NONE of that matters, he didn't want a relationship with you.

[reptocarl2]

That’s all you were to him. A replacement for his pocket pussy. What did you expect from someone that was only with you because you spread your legs for free?

[JimboGB]

He told you he was emotionally unavailable. "can't help feeling that I was only worth sleeping with and nothing more." That was exactly what you agree upon, what on earth were you expecting?

[VikingWarLord]

Good, now you can get someone better for that friends with benefits job... ME!
I'm in SF Bay Area

[FearlessGoat]

Should have bagged him when you had the chance instead of having your cake and eat it too

[Anonymous]

He didn’t want a relationship with YOU.
You were an easy lay, your only value was in the easy sex.