I told my girlfriend why I want her to workout with me and now I feel bad?

[Anonymous]

I just had a moment where I said something and immediately regretted it as soon as it left my mouth. So I’ve started to date someone who I’ve known since high school. When she was a girl who was thick and has big boobs when we were 15-16. We’ve started to talk when we were about 20-21 and she got a little chubby she’s not fat I still consider her thick but by society standards she’s probably a bbw now. I played football in college (we are both 23 rn) I still workout. My girlfriend in the face is literally drop dead gorgeous the type of pretty where even when we are out a guy will still look at her. If I’m being honest she strokes my ego when it comes to comparing my girlfriend to other guys girls. I’ve had the thought before like “if I get her to work out with me and she lose a little bit of her stomach she’s gonna be even badder” I’ve tried to get her to workout with me but she hasn’t been consistent. She has pcos so women know how that affects the stomach. I told her you already fine as fuck if we get rid of the little belly you do have you gone be even more of a problem. In my head I’m like that’s a compliment but when it come out my mouth I realized how disrespectful and heartless of a statement that was I’m truly sorry about the comment and she’s pissed not talking to me and she’s not the type of woman you keep bothering when she’s mad it’s only going to make her basically I just want to know if I go in our room and basically just be honest about how I feel I disrespected her and I understand her anger and I don’t want you want you feeling like I don’t care about you. From day one Before we were even officially dating I’ve held her while we sleep even if we’ve been fighting I’ve turned over and held her and told her how much I love you. And this is the first time she’s ever pushed me away from her when I go to hold her.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang bro, you really put your foot in your mouth on this one. I get why she's so pissed. Telling a girl her body would be "even more of a problem" if she lost weight is NEVER gonna go over well. You basically called her out for not being thin enough.

My advice is to just be honest and apologize. Tell her you think she's gorgeous just the way she is and you shouldn't have brought up her weight at all. Explain you were being stupid and not thinking, but you'd never want her to change herself for anyone but herself. Say her health and happiness are what really matter to you.

Offer to make it up to her by planning a nice night in - her fav dinner, flowers, draw her a bath, whatever she likes. Let her know it came from a place of love and caring for her, not shallow reasons. And reassure her you adore all of her, curves and all.

Girls just wanna feel validated, especially by their man. Make it clear you think the world of her as is. Give her space if she needs it, but let her know you're there when she's ready. With some groveling you'll be all good bro, just learn from this!

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice I appreciate it!!

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem man, happy I could help! Dealing with arguments in relationships can be tricky, especially when you hurt someone's feelings on accident. I'm sure if you go talk to her honestly and make it very clear you see where you messed up, she'll come around.

Just remember for next time - it's always best to build women up with compliments about who they are, not criticizing their bodies. We all want our girls to feel confident exactly as they are. As long as you two love and respect each other, working on communication is all it takes to get through misunderstandings like this.

You got this - go talk to her, apologize sincerely from the heart, and I'm sure you'll both feel a lot better. That's what matters most, that you're both happy together. Keep me posted how it goes! I'm sure after you clear the air, things will be back to normal in no time.

[CuriousHubby]

Honestly it's a real hard talk! Even when married! Women like the idea of working out buying clothes for working out. Looking good in those clothes and going to Starbucks.

It's hard getting women to work out ever cause they don't ever feel like it.

Till the mirror says they are fat and they cry for an hour and whine about wanting the gym.

Tell her it's for her health! You want her having good strong arteries and heart.

Then pamper her after with anything but food!

[VIVANT]

Most people at the gym are women 🧐

[CuriousHubby]

@VIVANT usually single women or women in the gym habit!
We are talking getting our loved ones to get into the habit and want the gym.
Not insulting women at the gym!
Also how rude!

[VIVANT]

I was not trying to offend you by questioning why you feel compelled to paint an entire sex with one brush.. it is easy enough to avoid using generalities and there was no need for it..

It is not hard getting women specifically to exercise. Many people avoid exercise. And it is difficult persuading them. I’ve seen this exact conversation with the sexes reversed.

I think it’s particularly challenging to get people to exercise in public when they already feel uncomfortable about their bodies.

[Peridot25]

My guy, she already knows how she looks. But, pointing it out made it worse and put a damper on her self esteem.
I bet she wishes she was skinny like you want her to be, but having PCOS makes losing weight not all that easy. She probably feels bad that you’re stuck with her.

[Peridot25]

Out of curiosity, why did you choose her instead of a woman on your level?

[Asker]

She’s the prize not me before we got together she had to wear a ring on her ring finger to make guys think she’s married so that less men would talk to her. I really messed saying something that I thought wasn’t a bad thing to say without actually thinking about the statement. I’m glad we talked this morning and we situated the situation because it was mean for me to say

[Anonymous]

Dude--she NEEDS to work out and eat better. If she's overweight at 23 that's going to be REALLY bad for her health when she's 43 or 53. So fucking fix it NOW. The added bonus is that she'll be crazy hot if she gets herself in shape since she's naturally thick and big boobed.