Would you be open to dating someone 20 years older or younger than you, or would that be too much of an age gap?

Question

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Very, very unlikely, and here's why. The larger the age gap, the greater the power of the older person, initially at least. They have so much more experience that they will always be in the driver's seat. They might like a younger person for their vivaciousness, sex appeal, and making them feel young again. But there is a lot more to a relationship than that. I would want someone who authentically respected my perspective and life experience, too.

The other thing to consider is generational differences, at that point. Baby boomers, Gen X, Millennials and Zoomers all have different life perspectives overall. Those perspectives can be very difficult to synchronize.

All that said, I was married to a man over ten years older than me, and we had a good relationship. Even in that, there was an element of power that he had due to the age difference and my desire to please him in everything. So it is possible. It just presents some greater challenges. With how challenging relationships are anyway, it's worth carefully weighing how many we want to add that we don't necessarily have to. :D

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

no for both. cause the younger option would be a toddler... & the older option would be a 40 something year old man... and i dont think i'd have much in common with someone that age, dont find men that age that attractive anymore typically (and anyways whatever looks are left will quickly fade), they'd probs want kids and marriage quickly (dont want that stuff for a couple years and i wouldn't want that with a man 20 years older than me anyways), be wayyyyyy too mature for me, might treat me like a kid and order me around. also i dont think my family would approve of that age gap and we'd get social judgement.

Avicenna · Accepted Answer

20 years older would be a huge problem for me. A woman that much older than me is very unlikely to be working full time even if she’s in fantastic health and in shape, meaning she’d be bored when I am working.
20 years younger is no problem. Or even 30.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

If i was single, i would never pursue a woman who was 20 years younger than me, but if she asked me for a date and she was attractive, i would probably accept her invitation.

Account · Answer

Nope. I wouldn't want even subconsciously taking advantage of someone younger if I was 50 and he was let's say 30 and I also wouldn't want the difference in power dynamics with someone 20 years older than me for the same reason.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

I am 17.5 year older than me. It’s not 20 years but It’s pretty nice. I’d not date anyone over 47 at this point. 20 years is my max.

mandyfire98 · Answer

Yep. I'm currently dating a guy over 10 years older than me and I've been with a guy 30 years older before

worldscolide · Answer

It depends honestly. My wife is 9 years my junior. I met her when she was almost 21 and I was almost 30. I think if I were single I'd have a cut off at no younger than 25, and no older than 45. My wife changed a hell of a lot in our first 5 years together. And not for the bad either. She kind of grew up more. Same here though. Meeting her is the reason I made a ton of changes in my life, so I could be a better man for her. Mind you she never asked, I made the choice my self.

chrissykerdock · Answer

it's not too bad i assume you really like this guy

mstbooblover · Answer

Very often one does not really choose the age of a potential partner: things and encounters just happen in life. My wife was 12 years older for instance. Still, the idea of a partner being 20 years younger does not deter me, but considering I'm 70, a 20 years older partner may not be a wise choice. Everything is relative I daresay ;0)

Fireguy17 · Answer

I try for not more than 10 at most, and 5ish is better.
As you older to some degree the age difference doesn't matter as much as it did in your 20s.
A 20 year old dating a 10 year old not good.
A 50 year old dating a 40 year old not that bad.
You would have more in common with each other.

petitedollbabee · Answer

Way too much of an age gap. 10 years is my maximum.

Franka9 · Answer

Ik heb vaak het gevoel dat jonge vrouwen mij leuk vinden. Ik zie er niet heel jong uit, maar ik ben jong van geest.

Toch zou ik het betwijfelen. Want de kans is groter dat jullie andere behoeftes hebben. Zeker als de jonge partner nog studeert en de ander al kinderen heeft.

Juxtapose · Answer

Yeah although the chances of the relationship succeeding would decrease a lot because of the age difference, statistically speaking.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Yes, I would do so age gap doesn't matter to me.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

My wife is 20 years younger than me. We don't even notice the age gap

easymfbrezzy96 · Answer

I am with someone who is 22 years older then but I would NOT DATE SOMEONE NOT EVEN A YEAR YOUNGER

SvenTree · Answer

Only under very rare circumstances. My answer is based on social perception. I've seen people become severely critiqued for dating someone with a large age gap (despite the fact that both are legal adults). I wouldn't like it for me and/or my partner to be treated as criminals, labeled as predators, creeps, etcetera.

I think it's better just to avoid such type of relationships.

BetaBucks · Answer

I'd prefer 50 years young, or 90 years older. Because I'm married.

But if I wasn't, I'd be okay with casually sleeping with a 20 year old, but I wouldn't want that, because I'd rather she be finding a husband than being a whore. I wouldn't do a relationship because I'm snipped and I don't want to ruin her best years that could be going to a future husband.

rachel776 · Answer

my boyfriend is 15 years older 20 years younger would be not born yet

Anonymous · Answer

as long as everyone is an adult... age, race, height, income, sexuality don't matter

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I said only in rare circumstances. She would have to be mature for her age.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Younger, no for hopefully obvious reasons. Twenty years older, yes. I had a girlfriend who was 17 years older and would be open if the right lady came along.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Too much for me, but might be perfect for you

EnjoytheDay777 · Answer

Honestly, that's fine if it's legal. Real connections are pretty rare. Take them when you find them, even if you're soulmate is older than you. I get it.

DJB72 · Answer

Younger, yes. At my age older is a very small field and only getting smaller...

Anonymous · Answer

I tired 15 years difference. It didn't work out to well.

llorando · Answer

No, that's too big of an age gap, plus I'd be arrested dating someone 20 years younger than me.

MK1997 · Answer

No..  I have fuck buddy who's 26 years older than me but I wouldn't go further than sex.

Surely · Answer

Casual dating. Yes! But you seem to be “head over heels “ about this guy.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Age is just a number - unless your under 18 - then it's a felony!

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Well you can't choose who you like sometimes it just happens and one has to go along with it to find out

Jerre · Answer

20+ years younger is good for me, but don’t believe 20+ years older would be fun as I would be dating a 70+ year old woman.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Ol' boy's after a young (er) girl between 23 and 45 !!!

dsrice071966 · Answer

If is okay with the two individuals then I am good with it.

Babygirl_S · Answer

20 years older

larry69 · Answer

Women as young as 28.

Pohjolan · Answer

I'm still too young for that.

TallAnon · Answer

9 years old or 49 years old, no thanks.

RebelinSteel · Answer

Far too big

jahaims · Answer

Nope

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

ew no

Would you be open to dating someone 20 years older or younger than you, or would that be too much of an age gap?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Yes, I would do so age gap doesn't matter to me.

Would you be open to dating someone 20 years older or younger than you, or would that be too much of an age gap?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Yes, I would do so age gap doesn't matter to me.

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