Why are women’s dating preferences praised while men’s dating preferences are scrutinized?

[Anonymous]

The last 2 women I’ve dated expressed their type to me while we were together. The first one told me her type was Michael Ealy (who kinda looks like her dad lol). The second one told me her type was Antonio Brown and stressed how much she loves dark chocolate.

I told them both that my type was Latinas/Mixed women like Gina Rodriguez or Vanessa Hudgens. The first one called me a colorist and said that I’m perpetuating stereotypes. Then the second one said that I must truly examine where my preference comes from and make sure that it’s not rooted in anything bad.

I didn’t put down other races of women or say that I only dated “my type”. I don’t get why they responded this way. I didn’t say anything bad about their types either. I laughed with them and kept it moving. To me, this is a lighthearted subject because I know several people who did not marry their type and they’re happily married.

[blueonblack22]

It all comes down to women being special just for existing vs. men are only special if we meet a specific demands for women (being attractive, being tall, having money, having the right personality, etc.). Western women have long had an unchecked societal privilege over men when it comes to relationships and dating. But they pretend it doesn’t exist and/or many of them abuse it.

However I think this is slowly starting to correct course. What’s going on is women keep rejecting their male equivalents and chasing men out of their league only to be pumped and dumped. This can last for a while because their egos won’t accept the truth (simps aren’t helping either). But more and more women are finding themselves getting older, unmarried and childless.

Some of them just double down, continue to blame men for their circumstances, play victim and embrace radical feminism bs (and sometimes start dating other women but that doesn’t make any truly hetero woman happy either).

But I’m also seeing a growing minority of women who are waking up to the ugly truth that they themselves responsible for their own predicaments. Either that they are noticing other women self sabotage themselves. But either way I’m seeing some hope on this. They are finding out what they “say” they want either unrealistic and/or it’s not what they really want.

Anyway society really doesn’t care about men who complain about these topics even if our qualms are fully justified. It’s because we are expendable. But if makes you feel better to ventilate then by all means do so. But again doesn’t expect modern society to ever change because men are hurting. Women will always get a shoulder to cry on but we are a dime a dozen.

So change isn’t going to happen until more women wake up and realize they are usually the cause for their own misery. And it’s starting to happen. Slowly but surely I’m starting to see some hope out there.

For example I know some women are waking up to what all the #metoo bullshit did to western society. Besides seeing their childhood hero Johnny Deppe get wrongly screwed over they are also frustrated that men are not approaching them nor taking romantic initiative/risks like they used to. So some of them are waking up to what modern feminism has ultimately done: driving men and women apart and making both suffer for it. It’s not about equality.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Here we go, another rambling rant from the bitterness incarnated, can't find one day here without one of you popping up. I don't know, why not visiting the world maybe? To expand your horizon, or go out of your stereotypical location, physically or in your mind, I can't really tell which one is affecting you the most lol

[blueonblack22]

@Maybe_Maybe_not thanks for your insightful response. And yes I’ve traveled quite a bit actually. Actually got plans to get the f out of dodge (visiting another country in 2025).

But anyway if you don’t like my posts why waste your time reading them? You are welcome to go along your merry way.

[ManOnFire]

So I am going to assume that the 2 women you dated were black (it's okay, I am too) and they took issue with your preferences, even though they had preferences for light and dark. This is still a problem with our women in the black community I do have to say. If a black man likes women of other races, or even black women of different shades, black women will take it as an affront. Although to be fair many black men don't make that better by obsessing over white women, and Latinas.

However, it's still not fair when black women like men of a particular type, race, or shade, but get upset in cases like yours. This is something the black community still needs to work on.

[Asker]

The first one was a lightskinned Black woman and the second one was a Dominican. Yes, colorism is a problem. In my case, I grew up in Arizona around Whites and Latinas. I live in Texas now and it’s pretty much the same thing. I believe what one finds attractive is based off of proximity and availability. People naturally like what’s around them. I agree that the community needs to work on not getting upset over dating preferences. My case especially since I didn’t grow up in and don’t currently live in a predominately Black area.

[beefcakebradybatson]

I obsess over buxom blondes like 95% of lads.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

Texas is perfect, white boy paradise. I grew up around white women only. When I got to the army I realized how beautiful all the other women of other races were. Colorism? Bro they fetishize US, you know that right? Who’s the one making the biggest deal about race? “I only date white boys or Hispanics” how many times have you heard that from black or Asian? They put it on their profiles even.

[ManOnFire]

@beefcakebradybatson Did you make a new profile?

[ManOnFire]

@Oncewildtwiceburned You are 100% right about that, they do fetishize white men. I get puzzled by Asian women who complain about white guys having Asian fetish, but then they have White fetish themselves. And I have definitely seen them put that on their dating profiles, mostly Asian girls though.

[blueonblack22]

It’s a bit ironic that women (all races) are usually more concerned about being woke for social optics but are much more concerned and picky about what race is of their romantic partners.

If it’s about attraction than that’s one thing. You aren’t “racist” if you just don’t find a certain ethnicity physically attractive. You can’t control preferences.

But when women seek out or avoid guys because they quickly judge via certain racial stereotypes (positive or negative) that’s quite another. And they really are more prejudice then guys are for sure.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

@blueonblack22 yep it made me a bit uncomfortable knowing how much hate a lot of women had against their own race.

[ManOnFire]

@blueonblack22 "But when women seek out or avoid guys because they quickly judge via certain racial stereotypes..."
- This is a strong point.

[blueonblack22]

And at the same time they are often more worried about appearing “woke” then men. Especially white women. More worried about social optics.

Again if they just aren’t attracted to a certain ethnicity then fine. Physical attraction isn’t a choice. I know I don’t feel attracted to most black women (there have been a few rare exceptions though).

But that’s not because I’m judging them for other reasons. I’ve met some black women I really like and respect as people. If I felt attracted to that I would definitely pursue it. But that’s just isn’t the case.

[marish01]

Men's dating preferences are praised as long as he has no negative opinion on a high body count and on a high body fat %.

[Agape93]

Ours are scrutinized too, to the point of threats on occasion. Height, weight, money, skin tone, sexual history, etc etc.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In the context of this US trope "we're gonna be more culturally extreme than you, no matter the area":
Then maybe we are talking about people confusing romantic prefs with to do lists, confusing people with items, confusing dating with job dating. And ofc everything here is constantly reinforced by consumerism, per se, and it's derivatives, dating apps operation for instance.

Or maybe I'm being extreme in my hypothesis? 😆

[Asker]

Extremely correct you mean. Lol

[Juxtapose]

Colorist? Those women are definitely black and man does the black community have such a huge problem with racism.

It's all about racial unity when they want to desegregate the schools and jump on some white dick but then all that talk of unity goes out the window when they see black men getting together with someone that doesn't look like them.

I am so glad white women are usually not like this.

[Asker]

This is true. Last white woman I dated wasn’t like this at all.

[Anonymous]

It's because you're dating modern feminists. It's always been like that. I had a friend in school who was a tall girl. Like 6'0. She had preference for guys who were taller than her and would never consider dating a dude under 6'2". It was totally fine for her to say that in front of anyone at anytime and not only did no one give her grief, but they'd nod in an understanding way.

Now if I would've said I'd prefer to date a fit girl rocking D cups or bigger (this girl was flat as a board) I'd have been considered a pariah. But if you think about it, it's the same thing--just a dating preference.

[Oncewildtwiceburned]

If you are good looking people will just giggle and only an overweight girl and some twig armed make feminist will whine about it, and maybe the professor, but they usually just smiled and chuckled about it.

[Opinion Owner]

@Oncewildtwiceburned I don't think so dude. I'd have been aggressively labelled as some flavor of douchebag for making a comment like that. If for no other reason than that it would suggest that I find busty girls hotter than flat girls so that makes the flat girls feel badly. Which is odd, because I'm not in the LEAST bothered when my friend would say she wanted to date 6'2" and up (which would VERY much disqualify me). But one opinion is deemed totally fine to voice and the other you'd better keep to yourself.

[bolverk]

Its the old double standard at work. When you say "while men’s dating preferences are scrutinized" don't you mean criticized?

Women are allowed to have their 'standards' for who'll they'll date, but if a Man has 'standards' for who'll they'll date they are called out for it - I've found that the best thing to do is to say nothing.

[genericname85]

This is really not a problem in the real world. It's entirely social media and social media don't matter. Don't waste your time with shit that doesn't matter to your life. You can have sour standards and preferences. Litterally nobody cares cause it's nobodies business but yours.

[ManInChains]

Because we live Ina gynocentric society where men are criticized for everything and women are glorified for everything

[elaphe]

"I love dark chocolate," And they think YOU are colorist?

[Asker]

Women’s hypocrisy man. It’s crazy!

[Apple1996]

Maybe because men have a laundry list of unrealistic standards while women have a few things that are bare minimum things

[Asker]

Can you give me an example of men’s unrealistic standards? I’m curious about what other men are saying.

[RiseofArtemis]

Is this a joke? Mens list is basicaly three things, shouldn't be too heavy, not a high body count and needs to be somewhat atractive, that's the physical only, the others can vary. Meanwhile women have a whole damn Novel on what he needs to be.

For some men. her being alive is the only requirement as they would take anything, that's how desperate they are.

There is even a show from I think either Doctor Phil or that other black mustache man in which he shows the most insane and unrealistic stuff a man needs to be in order to date the woman who showed the list, mind you some of the stuff on the list was in contradiction. And then y'all wonder why you are single.

The men you fancy most of the time have dozens if not hundreds of women on their list who are on the level of super models, thin, tall and with boobs. Do you really think a millionare will take an avarage woman who is overweight and has the character depht of a blank paper?

Date in your league, stop obsessing over stuff that's not possible and the reason why men want a woman who is either a virgin or low body count is because the majority of men are virgins or have had maybe 2 or three women in their life, not dozens if not hundreds like women seem to have had nowadays by the time they are 30. Even some good looking men don't have a high body count.

[Apple1996]

@RiseofArtemis you've proven my point. Even caring about those things is too much of a ask. Women ask for bare minimum from men like have a job and good hygiene. While men want body counts, skinny, boobs/ass, shaven, certain hair colors/styles. Ask a man his type and he always has one while a lot of women don't have a type and settle for almost any man who has bare minimum things for a adult to have in the first place

[Apple1996]

@RiseofArtemis not all women have high body counts. That's crazy to think. In my life I've met way more men with high counts than women with high counts

[Apple1996]

@RiseofArtemis also men will somehow manage to find their exact types and requirements in a woman then still choose to lust after other women either irl or porn/OF/strippers shit like that. So what's the point of even trying as a woman when there is no possible way to be good enough for most men?

[grega239]

Because they have a hard time accepting they might not be everyones type.

Women get butthurt over anything

[ForsakenQuill]

Because women struggle with accepting criticism while men recieve it daily

[clampfan101]

Also gender doesn’t define your dating preferences. There’s just some common preferences for both genders.

[Anonymous]

White women get intensely jealous when they’re told that the world doesn’t revolve around them

[Tomisworthless]

Men have little to noo options we have no right to be picky

[Anonymous]

Men think the world revolves around them. Nobody cares about your dating preferences date whatever you want please🤣

[Anonymous]

Praised?

Not from what I hear?

[Asker]

Maybe it’s poor word choice on my part. I could’ve said tolerated or accepted instead of praised.

[Kingofkings1992]

Welcome to being a man.

[Anonymous]

Because sexism.

[LiamJHayden]

I ignore those who question preferences.

[paledreams]

Hmm hard to say