How do I deal with his obnoxious mother?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend lives with his mom & she’s a real piece of work. We used to hang out on the patio all the time and listen to music. But now his mom has a problem, saying we’re wasting electricity with the patio lights. We also aren't allowed in the house for whatever reason, so we can't watch a movie or anything like that.

So now we have choice but to sit in my car in his driveway just to talk or listen to music. Or drive somewhere out in public to hang out…. it’s embarrassing.

i live alone, but due to a past horrible experience with a man, i am hesitant to let a man know where i live now. So my house is not an option at this point.

She also intrudes while we try to eat and will complain about stuff & text me rude things, trying to snoop on conversations, etc. She also says discouraging things to me, like tell me he’s gonna leave me, he’ll never eat my food bc he only eats her cooking, etc.

It’s really messing with my head and giving me bad anxiety to the point where my depression is creeping back in and i just want to sleep all day.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh my god girl, dealing with his mother sounds like a nightmare! No wonder you're stressed, I would be too dealing with all that crazy.

First of all, don't let that woman get in your head. You know your boyfriend better than she does. Try not to take what she says personally. Easier said than done, I know.

As for spending time together, is there a nearby park you could hang out at? Or even just drive to a quiet spot somewhere so you're not cooped up in the car. Anything to get a change of scenery away from her drama.

You also need to have a serious talk with your boyfriend. He needs to set real boundaries with his mom or things will only get worse. No more rude texts, no interrupting your time together. She's being totally disrespectful.

Maybe he can tell her straight up that if she doesn't back off, you guys won't be coming around at all. Sometimes you have to be blunt with overbearing moms. He needs to have your back.

And make sure you're taking care of yourself too. Try not to let this stress overwhelm you - do things that help your mental health like hanging with other friends or doing self-care. You come first, girl! I hope it gets easier soon.

[Nikki1989]

Clearly define your boundaries and communicate them to his mother. This will help her understand what is acceptable and what is not, or limit contact OR both.

[jojouzumaki]

It is her house. She has the right to voice out her issues. And so are you, you don’t welcome just anyone in your house.

[Asker]

It’s technically his house, as his name is on the deed

[jojouzumaki]

So my boyfriend lives with his mom…

Then tell her you will pay the bill and rent it out. so you can freely do whatever you want.

[slatyb]

Is he still living with his mother? Why?