How do you deal with a rude mother in law?

Question

He never corrects her behavior. She never liked me anyhow after getting the wrong impression of me instead of getting to know me herself. every time I defend myself against her rude mouth he gets mad.

Jaximus-Lion · Accepted Answer

I could write a book about it 🤣
Talk to your man first, tell him how you feel and try to find something you both agree on. After that! I always told my mother in law how i felt about her words/comments about me, explained my angle and after about 3 years we were cool and started having more fun. Good luck.

Harley_DD · Accepted Answer

I feel communication is the key to all the relationship problems.  Having a non judgmental and open conversation will let u guys trust and understand each other well.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Thank you sweetheart @lightbulb27

For some mothers, their sons choice will never be good enough. Therefore you will never be good enough. Anything you do, cook... will never be good enough for her. I don't know the details, but I do know it's never easy.
Reason why the child/son, can't grow up to protect you and love his mom as a man.

Your choice - 1. stay away from her. Like someone else said. Let him go visit her and you do your own things.
2. Divorce him.
3. Accept her.

You can't change her. She even told us that she won't change. Nor did she leave us alone.
Even after my divorce, she still wants to control me and our kids.
My ex. husband is finally standing up and staying away from her negativities after all these years. But of course to love her as his mom. Him as a man.

You can talk to your husband how certain things hurt your feelings. But it's you two who can decide how to go about making a new life for the two of you without haven't to get her involve.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

Depends if your in her house or yours.

Not a MIL problem, but whenever my boyfriends best friend would come over, he'd constantly criticize everything I did in the kitchen to serve him the guest food. I told my boyfriend it's incredible rude to do that in someone else's house. And that of he's always gonna act like that, tell him to sit in the living room while I cook if he can't 'help himself.'

I suggest finding an alternative space for the MIL. Where and over what topics is she most likely to be rude? Physically remove what you can and go out for what you can't. if she complains over tea, don't host tea time. If she complains about your cooking, tell your husband to cook or order take out when she visits. If she constantly telling you how to raise the children, either send them over to her house for 2 weeks until she gets sick of them/begs for help or stop inviting her over. If your husband wants to meet her, he can bring the kids without you and he can deal with her criticisms.

MTC29 · Answer

Although TV comedies and Movies give the impression that men and their MILs don't get along, the fact is that It's the daughter in law who suffers at the hands of the MIL. You're in a tough spot because your husband has demonstrated that he will not take your side. Stepping up the Battle of Rudeness against her won't help; in fact it will make things even worse by upsetting your husband.

I'll make the suggestion that your husband visits his mother alone- or with the kids, if you have any, with you staying home. If forced to invite the She-Satan into your own home, make your husband understand that has to behave herself. After all, she's in YOUR HOME. I hope things sort themselves out.

dustybiker · Answer

It’s tricky as they are all different. I would suggest no longer defending, but setting a clear boundary line with unwanted comments and behaviors.
The next time you are in her presence make a mental note of the first three-five offensive comments/things she does directly to you. Then tick off each item in list, telling her that is behavior that you are no longer going to put up with.
The attitude is unjustified (if it is) and you are drawing a line. Either show you at the very least professional respect or she isn’t welcome in your home again, and you won’t be going to hers until she can respect you.
Remind her it’s in her sons best interest you both get along.
Then allow her to react in any way she chooses. You spoke your peace and hold to it.

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

I'd try to make peace at first and draw a line when it comes to her son and my relationship. He is breeding me not her, he is married to me and I am married to him she needs to know her position.

But if she dont want that then:

I'd ignore her (if she talks to me I wouldn't repond to her, I would simply pass her straight, no mornings no greetings NOTHING), if she is out of line to me ESPECIALLY in front of her son I would tell him to check his mother, I would have her on BLOCK and she better not stroll up to the house announced or unannouced when her son isn't there because she would be outside on the poarch or in her car and last but not least her grandchild (ren) are not spending the night or being at her home without Father's or My supervision (I dont want her brainwashing and saying out of line things to or around my child).

PoliteSpeaker · Answer

Turn the other cheek. This is your moment of growth. Protect your marriage and turn the other cheek. Your husband has not the growth needed to fix or handle the situation. He is not perfect but protect your marriage. Let your desire and gratitude for a healthy marriage be stronger than your frustration. As soon as she says something that could upset you, reject it. Reject it and run from it (in your mind). Say this is my life and I'm in control of me! Say it firmly in your inner place. And in moments when you have time, connect to your gratitude. Thank God or whoever you must for your marriage. For your healthy marriage.

humpbackjack · Answer

You need to have a heart to heart with your husband because as long as you’re not out of line he should back you and you might think about having a sit down with your mother in law and calmly without any attitudes tell her how you feel and be prepared for it not to go how you want it to but maybe something will set in and things might change a have an impossible mother in law that never liked me even though I’m always good to her daughter and have improved her life and raised our daughters (she came with 2) and loved them all the same so some old ladies and old men are too set in their hypocritical ways and can’t admit when they’re wrong I just have nothing to do with her anymore

SaoirseS · Answer

Ignore her, like any other annoying person. If she sees she’s pushing your buttons she’ll keep it up. Ignore her and it deprives her, frustrates her because it isn’t getting what she wants. The ruder and more of an asshole they are, the nicer I am. It takes self-control but always talk nice to the rude ones and the shitheads.

Anonymous · Answer

My mother in law used to be a real bitch to me and i hated that she stays with my man and me. But one morning she was really pissing me off so i called hubby in the bedroom and gave him a quick bj before he left for work but kept the cum in my mouth. I then went downstairs right in her face and opened my mouth to show her his cum before i swallowed it down. Then i told her 'this is why your son prefers me to you' and went back upstairs to watch a movie

Subarugirl · Answer

Be polite but establish clear boundaries with her, preferably in front of your husband. If she doesn't respect those boundaries, respectfully, and unemotionally point it out. It's important that you stick up for yourself and your husband should support you.

Sit down and talk to your husband about it, in a neutral and relaxed setting. Don't play the blame game but instead explain how it makes you feel.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Anonymous... This is typical daughter/mother-in-law stuff.

You are an adult and your husband should not have to get in-between you and his bitch mother. Just remember, men seek women like their mother, so the issue is probably that you and she are alike.

MORPHEUS_12 · Answer

In my opinion you have a bigger issue than just your MIL it's your husband who is too chicken shit to stand up for you.

boggboss · Answer

Its a hard one would say speak to him and make him see how u feel explain if he won't defend you you will yourself if he dont like it then I simply won't be around her

ARLeslie · Answer

My ex MIL hated me. I found out that my ex husband was feeding her false information about me, to make himself look bette. Some women can't let their sons go.
I simply removed myself from social situations she was involved in. Best decisions ever!

t-8900 · Answer

He should be defending your honor and putting his foot down

Paris13 · Answer

You will Always be----In competition with Mommy Dearest. Ignore her. No one is Ever good Enough for her Sonny boy. xx

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No offense he sounds like a mommas boy and If I had a girl who was being abused verbally by my mother I would like to know but all my girlfriends my mom was nice to them

Nik1hil · Answer

You invite her to a movie night and show her the movie..  "Monster-in-law"

max69tx · Answer

look for a new guy if he's not willing to defend you or correct his mother on her behvaior. I've been in the same boat but my girlfriend and i just ignore and do not involve her in our life.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If he doesn't think she is being rude enough to correct his mom himself, then either she isn't being rude, or he doesn't love you.

lightbulb27 · Answer

passing this onto my girlfriend who has experience.

RenegadeSailor · Answer

Just say "well bless your heart" it's southern for "fuck off"

Djaay · Answer

Find a real man that doesn't need his mothers invlovment in that manner.

Sketti2021 · Answer

Had 1 for many years, finally got sick of her bullshit and called her a effing bitch. Felt great 👍 👌

Dog87 · Answer

Just keep your mouth shut don't even open them worms

Wise4myage · Answer

If your husband refuses to put her in check, then do it yourself.

Eleni88 · Answer

I would of never married them or moved in from the get go seeing how she treats her son and daughter in law before they got married I be gone.

Scotte1us · Answer

Stay away, dont gave her a chance to do intimate you or be rude, move away from where she lives

CuriousAZ · Answer

Who cares if she doesn't like you If her behavior is bad, tell her so.

cloudspy · Answer

Treat her same way she treats you.

Wester1967 · Answer

Divorce. Take that you misandrist harpy

Babygirl_S · Answer

Avoid her as much as you can.

Uptowngirl88 · Answer

Dump him he's a mommas boy

Nazgol · Answer

I'd be lucky to have even one!🤯😣

Kate_Utt · Answer

Don't take anything she says or does personally...

_Angelsbaskett · Answer

Smack her

Sarahr123 · Answer

You get divorced

Lonely888 · Answer

Just ignore her

KevnHanma · Answer

Go down on her

Anonymous · Answer

Poison her

How do you deal with a rude mother in law?

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How do I deal with my disrespectful, angry and ignorant mother?

How do you deal with a rude mother in law?

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How do I deal with my disrespectful, angry and ignorant mother?

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