Met a guy 47 and still living at home with parents?

[Anonymous]

He asks me it seems like I don't appreciate him - why would I be happy with this guy? Emotionally and mentally I take care of myself as I can get support from him or feed back positively with things I'm going through. Financially he can't support me as he's broke. I'm kinda tired of dealing with him as he is doing nothing , but living with his parents at 47 and isn't stable financially.

Updates

1 y

I pulled back from him and told him to get his life together like first getting out his parents house and showing where he can financially take care of himself... I can't take him serious with any plans he's taking about

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that's a really weird situation you're in. I can understand why you'd be frustrated with that guy. Living at home with your parents at 47 is just kinda sad, not gonna lie. Like I get maybe staying with them for a little while if you were between jobs or something, but to still be there at that age with no plans to leave? That's super sketchy.

I don't blame you at all for wanting more from a guy you're going to date. If he can't even take care of himself and has no financial stability, how is he going to be able to support a relationship? It doesn't seem like he's ready for anything serious. I feel like you were smart to pull back and tell him he needs to get his stuff together before trying to be with you. You need a guy who has his act together and has ambitions, not some middle aged dude still leeching off mommy and daddy.

Of course he's gonna try and make you feel bad now for "not appreciating him," but don't fall for that. You deserve someone who can be an actual partner, not another thing you have to take care of. Maybe if he really gets a job, saves up some money, and moves out on his own, then maybe give him another chance. But I wouldn't hold my breath waiting around for some dude almost 50 to grow up. There are way better options out there than a guy like that. I say focus on yourself for now and don't settle. You'll find someone worth your time.

[Asker]

I'm taking care of 3 kids , working , and homeschooling them. It'll seem like I'm taking care of a 4th child

[Asker]

He's a man child

[Oliverlogan263]

Omg girl, wake up! You DO NOT need another kid to take care of. You already have your hands full with the 3 you got. This dude is straight up looking for a mama to wait on him and you don't need that mess in your life.

I know you wanna believe in people and maybe think you can "help" him, but nah sis. At 47 he should have his ish together. He's just gonna stress you out and drag you down with his problems. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Think about it, you're holding down the fort with work AND homeschooling during a pandemic. You're a real one for keeping it all together for your fam. You need a man who can support YOU for once, not another deadbeat mooch.

Please save yourself the agony and kick this bum to the curb. He's had enough years to figure it out, that's on him now. You do you, boo - keep your chin up and keep thriving. His lazy butt staying momma's basement is not your problem. You and your kids come first!

[Finchie40]

It be one thing if he was working and taking care of his parents’ but if he is just sitting around barely doing anything , then yes I could see that being a turn off to you , unless he has a nice big inheritance coming his way once his parents’ pass away , that he isn’t telling you about because most guys’ don’t want to be with a girl that is just after his money?

[Asker]

He's not taking care of his parents he lost his home in Oklahoma and job what turned me off is that he's not trying to leave his parents anytime soon- no effort.. he works and makes money since we've been talking he could have been left his parents why wait until he meets a woman to leave? Why wait until he meets me to want to leave and asks me to help him get the place? We don't align political wise or beliefs...

[Asker]

He's a mommy boy

[Asker]

I work and stuff he's showing he can't provide or do anything

[Finchie40]

I am not defending the guy but can you really blame him? If he lost his home and job , it’s going to take him time to dig himself out of that hole , so living with his parents’ is probably a wise decision on his part , this economy has sadly gone to pure shit , I just lost my job this year due to being laid off and I am having such a hard time landing a new job , I never experienced anything like this before on my lifetime , I still own my home but I can barely afford it whatsoever , I am scraping by just that make ends meet , The job market is a nightmare right now , I am actively applying every day , I think I am over 600 jobs I applied to and I am barely hearing back from any of them , so now I might have to go backwards and work a dead end job just to keep my roof over my head until I hopefully land a decent paying job again. So this country has gone to complete shit

[Asker]

So why is he dating or attempting too- I'm not here to build a workshop with a man and he lost everything to dealing with a toxic woman before meeting me

[Asker]

He didn't get laid off he lost everything to dealing with a woman and getting behind on rent

[Asker]

He has a work from home job and makes good money yet still lives with his parents - it's one thing to get laid off or get a divorce he lost his job to due to dealing with a woman and being wreckless with his money

[Finchie40]

Because a job doesn’t determine on whether you can date someone or not , jobs come and go , but love lasts forever

[Asker]

In the two months he could have moved out of his parents house since we've been talking

[Asker]

I don't want a broke man sorry and there's nothing he can do for me financially if he can't support himself or have stability flowing.. he shouldn't be talking about future plans if he can't get stable and he works - he works 40 hours a week with no responsibility at home with his parents like paying bills etc

[Finchie40]

How is he broke if he is working full time?

[Asker]

I think he's lying about his wages which is doesn't matter to me I have never asked him for a penny and won't , but he shouldn't string me along with wishful thinking

[Asker]

Now it seems he's playing games and I have my own income

[Asker]

Not married to him and will not ask a man for money that's not my husband

[Finchie40]

Understandable, I wasn’t judging you whatsoever, if you don’t feel the connection you don’t feel it

[Asker]

I wish him the best but I'm not a rag doll to be strung along

[Asker]

I've pulled back next I'm moving forward without him.. we talked about getting a place if he was serious about that he would have secured a place paying deposit etc... talking to me is a cost and not a luxury

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he is unsure on what he wants to do , and probably relying on you to help him out

[Asker]

He's in the right place with his mom - I'm not his mommy replacement

[Finchie40]

Yea I can see why that would be a turn off , especially if he is a mommy’s boy

[Asker]

Yep I said that from the beginning he's a mommy's boy

[Asker]

I already raised 3 children and am not looking to raise a 4

[Finchie40]

LOL I hear ya

[Curiouskitty99]

Jeez, that sounds really bad. I hope you can get out of that relationship (if you’re in one with him)

You’re going to be doing all the work while he stays at his parents house not going anywhere in life? That doesn’t seem fair at all. If he relies off of his mommy and daddy, he is going to rely off of you. You definitely deserve someone better, I really wish you the best 🙏🙏

[Asker]

We're not dating or met no worries

[Asker]

I backed out

[Curiouskitty99]

Good!!👍

[SweetPi]

Full support girl! But the guys will always support their fellow basement monkeys!

You be a strong independent woman don't ever settle!

[Asker]

Yep , I have been not talking to this guy... no car , home, no stability - foundation.. not used to dating men like this as the men I date have their own career, home, car, some kind of stability

[SweetPi]

Yeah a few sneak in! Like you should not be dating! Not a sugar mommy or a mommy for you.

Go back to your hole in your mom's basement on disability or what ever they live on

[Asker]

I'm so tired of meeting these male- boy moms etc

[SweetPi]

Lol it's not even make boys it's children 😔. Id dump a guy if he suggested a fast food spot. Like it's so ridiculous now!
I want a nice date! No sex and show you can be romantic!

[Asker]

First date he offered me a hotel stay - I declined - he could have gotten a place , but it seems it can manage responsibilities living on his own

[Asker]

Or he's seeking a mommy replacement this is why I'm turned off to men and dating of today most men aren't men they're little boys

[SweetPi]

Gross like really a hotel could not have sex at mommy's house she might get mad! Feel he is cheating on his blow up girlfriend!

[Asker]

He's a sad man... we didn't have sex nor are we as I'm celibate

[SweetPi]

Good wait best way to get rid of the losers! If they can't wait 6 months or a year they are not worth it

[Asker]

This guy ain't together

[RingOfFire]

There's a TV series about this situation...

https://go.tlc.com/show/i-love-a-mamas-boy-tlc-atve-us

[Asker]

😂 you're so funny

[RingOfFire]

No really, it's the same situation. It's girls who are in relationships with these guys who are attached to their mothers. 🙂

I had a situation where I moved in with my parents about 15 years ago to take care of them. I'm not married and don't have any kids so I was able to do it. I took care of both of them in their last years. My father passed away at 97 about 5 years ago and my mother at 93 last year.

It felt strange living with my parents, but if I didn't they would have had to be in a nursing home and I couldn't stand the thought of strangers taking care of them. They wanted to live their last years in their home so that's what they did.

I have to admit though, now that they're gone I feel sort of lost. I'm out of touch with what it was like to have my own life.

I don't think you'll be going anywhere with this guy. Sounds like he's completely out of it and has no interest in turning his life around.

In my case I have some women who are interested in me, but I'm still trying to recover from what I've been doing the last 15 years! I don't feel like I'm ready for a relationship so I try not to read them on

On the one hand I would like it but on the other hand I just don't feel like I'm ready for another relationship yet.

In your case I think the best thing for you to do is move on even if it's not easy.

[Asker]

You are correct and I'm sorry about your parents - I walked tonight he's looking for a mommy replacement and hoping around with no stability

[Asker]

Let him be some women's desperation

[RingOfFire]

Thanks, it's hard to imagine any woman being attracted to a man like that.

[Asker]

Ikr but he's convinced he will work things out with an ex

[RingOfFire]

Good luck with that. I've never met a woman who was attracted to a man who wasn't able to stand on his own two feet.

[Asker]

I didn't date him nor never met him

[Asker]

I feel for the woman he's about to go back too

[RingOfFire]

Well, she'll have to figure it out for herself. I can't see a relationship like that working. What's he going to do ask him to live in the house with his parents? How many women would have a good reaction to that?

[Asker]

She'll end up taking care of him in her house like a fool

[Asker]

I don't house men and normally deal with men who are men

[Asker]

Who have their own

[RingOfFire]

Well whatever you do I wish you well. I think this one is over.

[Asker]

It is I ended it tonight

[RingOfFire]

Best of luck to you. ,👍

[Asker]

Thxs ☺️

[Daniela1982]

Maybe he is their care giver who takes care of the household budget. Maybe they are getting Alzheimers or something.

[Asker]

Nope they are well and not sick he's there because he's not stable

[Daniela1982]

Well then, I take it that you are moving on then. 🤔

[Asker]

Yes I am

[Asker]

This guy needs to get his life together because I told him my needs he can't even protect me or offer me anything

[Asker]

Emotional and mental support during the family emergency with family... financially he's broke... living at home with his parents red flag

[Asker]

Maybe he'll have a chance once he gets his life together , but there's nothing he can offer me

[LiamJHayden]

I see that a bit. People in their 40's, 50's, even 60's who never launched. It is so bizarre. It would be different if they were taking care of the parents or at least sharing expenses, but these people are still like children.

[Asker]

Man child I notice he needs his mother to make decisions for him.. red flag. Not here to raise a man child

[LiamJHayden]

Yeah, you can do better.

[Asker]

Yes staying away from him and praying for a real man

[Fireguy17]

Unless he takes care of their health needs, otherwise move on.

[exitseven]

if he is divorced it is understandable. If he is not he has issues.

[slatyb]

Why would you? Don't waste your time. Just tell him you aren't interested. You don't owe him anything.

[Asker]

Yep I completely pulled back

[Asker]

Moved on emotionally

[Asker]

I haven't met him and don't him SHYT

[Asker]

Owe I mean no explanation

[FunkyMonkee]

So? Dad spent all but his first 8 years in the same house his parents bought and I spent all but my last 5 years in that house with my parents.
As long as he's not sponging off them.

[strateguy632]

Ask about his job search then you will know if you should dump him.

[DrPepper12]

Wow! That is just mind-blowing! I was out at 20! You dodged a big bullet there!

[Asker]

I'm so fkin tired

[beefcakebradybatson]

I understand LOTS of middle-aged Italian lads live at home, so many that some years ago, the Italian Government mulled a tax on over-40 bachelors.

[Avicenna]

Lots of people are broke.

[Asker]

They shouldn't date

[Asker]

Granted we're dealing with inflation, but I'm fine

[Avicenna]

That’s good, but let be ask you this- are you supporting him financially?

[Asker]

No he can't support himself or me

[Asker]

I'm not dating this guy or met him

[Asker]

He's not together and when we met I had a lot going on with my family such as death etc

[Avicenna]

Well, then I don’t see what there is to talk be about here. If he isn’t worth your time, move on.

[noohair]

WWhat do you expect from him? I would bet that is not going to change.

[Asker]

What am I expecting nothing why I have out distance between us

[Asker]

Put * I have limited contact

[Asker]

To no contact my next step is to tell him once he has his finances together and get out his parents house don't contact me because I think he's playing games and doesn't want to leave his parents house.

[Asker]

He's about to lose me

[EnjoytheDay777]

Just find someone else, this sounds like a dead end.

[Asker]

Ikr and I'm talking to other men

[EnjoytheDay777]

Good for you, get yourself a real man who's mature enough to take care of himself

[Asker]

Of course 😁

[DanL97]

Depends if he’s has a job or not?

[Asker]

Yes but he's stuck at his parents and not leaving

[Asker]

No motivation or goals

[Anonymous]

Yes, so what is the actual question?