Would You Meet A Woman From A Dating Site If She Refuses To Exchange Numbers and Selfies?

[Anonymous]

One time I met a woman on a dating site, and she refused to exchange phone numbers or selfies. I didn't even recognize her when we met because she posted pictures of her younger sister on her profile.

Another women was grossly obese.

So I met a new woman, and she refuses to exchange numbers or selfies so that we can verify each other. When I told her about my past experiences, she said I needed to trust her.

1. Would you drive 45 minutes to meet a woman who refuses to exchange phone numbers or selfies?

2. Provided she isn't posting fake pictures or misrepresenting herself, why would a woman refuse to do so?

Updates

1 y

When a person joins a dating site, isn't it a reasonable expectation that person will exchange phone numbers? I've seen women profile saying if a man won't sent me his phone number then he is a scammer.

[TsundereMatrix]

The last time I went on a dating site, I match with a few guys and we exchanged numbers and selfies. Instead of meeting up they would text me and tell me something like “Hey, I saw you on ____street yesterday.” And I’m like “Why didn’t you come say hi?” And they wouldn’t reply. I just thought that was a bit creepy and I would take a break from dating sites. For that reason is why I usually don’t give out my number and I don’t share a few selfies. Sometimes none if I don’t feel good about the person I’m talking to. That’s just my experience.

[TsundereMatrix]

I only share a few selfies is what I meant to say*

[molonski2]

If I'm meeting them , I'm going to know exactly what they look like or it just ain't happening , in particular weight ( I will only be seen with correct weight and symmetry ) .. Have I been caught in the past? Yeah once or twice , that's why the body is the first thing I look to..
Can't stand fat , sloppy arses with no discipline or activity.
The phone number? Here it's all LINE app , if they are trying to head you elsewhere it's generally a scam.
So answer to your question is " No " screen them completely before even driving around the block , in Australia I always met them in CBD.

[AviatorTom]

After my divorce, I dated some women who I met online. Most of them exchanged phone numbers before out first meet, but one did not; we only communicated via the site's messaging. At our first meet, she explained that it was for her security. Once we met, and she learned who I was, not a stalker, we exchanged numbers and dated for a few months.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think if you date someone you should at least show a selfie of yourself, no filters and stuff like that. If not, then video chat with each other at least before meeting. Us women especially need to make sure of that because we don't know if the person we're meeting will be dangerous or not. Men should take this same precaution.

[Asker]

What is your opinion of a man or woman who refuses to do so? And when asked the person says, "You'll just have to trust me."

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Simple: Don't go meet them. Too much of a risk.

[Asker]

But why do you think a person wouldn't agree to exchange phone numbers or selfies or video chat to verify each other's identity? If they don't they are also taking a risk.

[Avicenna]

Nah, we’d have to see each other on a video call first.

[Asker]

But you might be missing out on a beautiful relationship.

[Avicenna]

That’s OK, if she won’t get on a video call, there’s something wrong with her that’s a probable dealbreaker. Both of us need to know we aren’t dealing with catfish.

I don’t exchange numbers until we’ve met in person and like each other enough to meet again.

[Purpleronnie]

Well I don’t do dating sites , no offense but imagining that I did , sure I would meet her. As long as your sensible about where your meeting then where’s the issue?


40 mins drive to meet sometime is nothing , I travel longer for groceries. If you think she is asking too much , simply say no thanks and move on.


Just like you have your reasons to be a little bit jaded because you experiences in meeting women then isn’t she allowed to also? Her reasons for not wanting to share before meeting may be justifiable.

[Xoxocutekitty]

Expect - sure, only as a sign it's going well. Demand after they've expressed theyre not comfortable? - red flag.

While I personally agree 45 minutes the upper bound of how far I'd go for a first date, I think a man expecting a woman send a "real photo of herself" that is attractive enough for him to consider even showing up is like a woman demanding proof she's gonna orgasm in bed with him later.

Sometimes you just have to decide to show up with the information you have, and fuck around (or not) to find out.

[Xoxocutekitty]

As a woman, I've refused giving out my number for safety reasons. I've also run into problems with some men, give them one photo and they instantly demand more (again, before even meeting).

At the end, giving someone a photo is giving them more access to perceive you. I can't tell you how gross it is when you do send a nice picture and they spam you with dirty things because theyre wanking off way past you felt a connection with them. It's about privacy and perception and that as a woman you can't control how people use your photos.

[jobby99]

I think the lonelier you feel at the time influences what you are willing to give up (I. e. security, a photo) to finally meet someone to try to break the loneliness cycle. I am sure a lot of really smart people have made bad decisions despite their own intuition that something was not quite right. I think we should all come to set our own standards when meeting people that doesn't break rules we set ahead of time mainly around safety, but for some people it could include privacy, looks, money, socio-cultural, etc.

[PeachyPie93]

I wouldn't go.. people who are dating online who are too scared to talk to you on cam or send a selfie most likely know they ain't shit lol. Date people in real life you already know what the person looks like then.. be brave.

[dragoblack]

Quite honestly, absolutely not. It's a blaring red flag and would not continue.
Think of it like meeting them offline, instead of online... it's like meeting someone covered in a body length bedsheet, inside a distortion screen cylinder, using a voice modulator. It's sketchy, blaring show of insecurity, dishonest, and untrusting.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I would not use dating sites in the first place, the concept is boring, creepy and unnecessarily pressuring people for a set in stone goal... It's like watching a movie from the end. I really don't see the appeal 😐

[Nikki1989]

Anyone who needs to use a dating site is already a walking red flag. It is astonishing that people still don't get it.

[jobby99]

I think dating sites would work for niche interests or people that aren't neuro-typical, but ironically you don't see these dating sites very much. For mainstream, hetero cis norm, then yeah you probably would save yourself time and frustration by going out on the town. If you are note made of money, then I suppose you would then not run up bar tabs, but maybe visit places like coffee shops or join meetup groups. And most people historically had matches made by their family/friends who knows them best, so you could always try that route.

[RageBabe]

No, you never know who is behind that screen. Don't put yourself in a dangerous situation like that.

[LostandFound__x]

Not if she’s not sharing selfies. Number I understand though. I’d only give it after I meet the guy.

[Goahead76]

Exactly.

[slatyb]

45 minutes? No.

"You need to trust..." Sorry, that's rather ridiculous. You don't even know her.

[call_me_scar]

Number I can live without there's texting and calling apps but I would need a video call with the girl before officially meeting up

[bobby_bush_eater]

No. I would assume I'm being robbed or set up. I have to see her face, and I'll probably look her up on social media and shit too.

Anything else sounds shady.

[MikeTheBartender]

Hellll noooo

The number I get, inaccurate photos is a deal breaker

[paledreams]

I think now at 30 - I just wouldn't want to risk it at all regardless of. Regardless of.

[morganherrel]

Nope, a man takes what he can get and decides if it's worth it only after making the investment

[Anonymous]

When you showed up and saw a porker sitting there, did you just keep walking? After all--there's no reason she'd have known you were supposed to be her date.

[LiamJHayden]

I do not use dating sites, but if I did I would want to Facetime or similar first.

[Pohjolan]

45 minutes driving isn't a big loss but I'd be suspicious.

[Anonymous]

I've never asked for either. And I've never had this happen to me either though.

[noohair]

I am done with that bullsh! t.

[RedInnocent69]

Catfish are bottomfeeders

[Sonora2]

I would probably go if she seemed nice.

[In_Trance]

Never

[Slim57]

Nope