What would you think of a girl who wanted to meet up with you but didn't want to exchange numbers or connect on social media?

Question

So I hate seeing guys I like social media because I just start going into forensic mode and driving myself crazy. Also, I was dealing with an absolute asswipe who used his WhatsApp statuses to torture and gaslight me. Switching profiles and ignoring me while online.

My former crush -- because we mutually confessed our interest -- asked to connect there and I said no. I just want to keep it IRL and said in the night we can have some tea on his stoop.

At the end of the day if someone likes you they like you.

Do you think keeping it IRL at the outset is a good or a bad idea?

I have too at this delicate stage or else I will just get paranoid and scare him off for sure.

What would you think of a girl who wanted to meet up with you but didnt want to exchange numbers or connect on social media?

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

I’d want an explanation because as other people have said, many people don’t show their social media or give their contact info so that they can hide their real relationship status.

I’d like them to be candid with me. Maybe even exchange social media and contact info simply for transparency and emergency contact.

And then, mutually decide what we’ll be using to communicate.

I personally would want to have some sort of way to communicate that’s not limited to meeting in person. Heck, even email is better than nothing.

Because if anything happens, like my flight gets delayed or a family emergency, or if there’s something else important to communicate, I don’t want to cut off all other forms of communication.

I’m a pretty busy guy though, so messaging apps would be the most convenient for me to use to stay in contact during the day.

I personally wouldn’t like to go days or weeks without contact. (If contact is limited only to IRL with zero correspondence in between.)

I don’t think that would fly with me, as someone who spent 4 years in a LDR and did things like wake up at 4AM every morning just to make time to call my SO in their timezone before I needed to begin work.

I’ve worked very hard to keep communication strong and to make communication possible. So, if someone only wanted to meet IRL without exceptions, I’d probably friend-zone them because I need to have that extra level of communication before considering a serious relationship with them.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Interesting question. So I don't think there's anything wrong with not having social media like FB or Instagram or Snapchat and whatnot, that's perfectly okay. The only social media I still have is Instagram. I deleted FB a few years ago but still have Messenger. I do have WhatsApp but I don't really use it, and I don't even really consider it as social media, it's just an extended form of communication, especially if you have friends or family overseas. These kinds of communication/talk-and-text apps would be important, yeah.

I wouldn't think anything is wrong with her if she didn't want to share her social media, but I would still need a number as a form of communication. Just telling me to come by on such and such day is not enough and leaves no room for cancelation or having to reschedule or let you know I might be a little late. I absolutely love talking to women in person and spending time with them, but it does still matter to have some kind of tech communication with her. It's just the world we live in even if we don't always like it.

Monalisa77 · Accepted Answer

Yes if i get a boyfriend im thinking of keeping out of his sm, itd drive me crazy

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i would think she's being safe or has had bad past experiences with stalkers

misogynistic_pig · Answer

The answer would depend on the context and specific circumstances of the situation.

In general, men value their independence and freedom above romantic relationships and are often critical of traditionalism and the gender expectations imposed by society.

If a girl wanted to meet up with a man but didn't want to exchange numbers or connect on social media, this could be viewed in several ways.

On the one hand, some men might interpret it as a sign that the girl is interested in them as individuals and not just as a way to validate their own social status through social media.

This could be seen as a positive quality in a society that often values people based on their popularity and presence online.

On the other hand, some men might see it as a sign that the girl is trying to hide something or that she is not willing to be honest and transparent in her communication.

This could be seen as a sign of a lack of trust or a lack of genuine interest in building an authentic and lasting relationship.

Ultimately, each man is free to make his own decisions and set his own guidelines when it comes to romantic relationships.

What is important is that the decision is based on a careful assessment of the circumstances and one's own personal values and goals, and not on gender expectations or social pressures.

1

EricSummer · Answer

That's absolutely fine. The main thing is to meet her in real life.
Of course, if we do not even exchange numbers it becomes difficult to arrange even the next meeting.
As you do not like WhatsApp with these status updates, maybe one could use an app that is more about messages only, like Signal for example.

burlen · Answer

It's understandable that you want to protect yourself from negative experiences you've had in the past with social media. Keeping a new relationship more focused on in-person interactions (IRL) can be a good idea, especially at the beginning stages. This approach allows you to build a strong foundation based on real-life interactions, which can help you establish trust and better understand each other's personalities.

SamIam96 · Answer

Hmmm... I like the concept. Social media is such a bad way to maintain a relationship. In fact, it probably does more to weaken than strengthen the bonds.

What about messaging apps? I feel like they might have a place if used for short interactions. They shouldn't be a replacement for conversation, though.

Lliam · Answer

I think keeping it to IRL is a good idea initially. It's probably a bad idea to give out your contact information until you have a better idea about what the guy is like and if you think you can trust him and want to stay in touch with him.

Stevefiveo · Answer

Not exchanging social media would mean to me that she is probably married not exchanging phone numbers means she is married with a controlling husband and/or she just wants a one night stand.

worldscolide · Answer

That's actually refreshing. I mean I don't get the no exchanging numbers part, but the no social media thing I get.

David4358 · Answer

well IRL relationships have worked for 1000s of years so your going with the tried and true method

LiamJHayden · Answer

No social media I understand, but if she refused to exchange numbers I'd assume she was married or living with someone and I'd exit.

ColHathi · Answer

Might be a little weird to get used to at first if texts between us aren't possible either, but I'd be fine with it. I don't really use social media either anyway.

noohair · Answer

It is my opinion that social media has ruined dating and courtship. Look for groups that interest you and meet people face to face. And I would stop looking at social media, you only see one side of the person, the fake side.

Shy_Steve · Answer

I would think She is using me for something.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I'd need a real phone number at the very least. I've seen women do too much weird stuff to make me comfortable with taking a chance like that.

Fuentes · Answer

She at least has to have a snap or she's on the block list.

msc545 · Answer

I would at least need to see a picture and talk with her firstl

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I wouldn't trust that person. They might be a scammer.

RavVid · Answer

I think it is a good idea to stay IRL.

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Neutral, unless she wants a relationship

jimmy2 · Answer

Yes it does to peteens

Jennz6 · Answer

Don’t use SM?

What would you think of a girl who wanted to meet up with you but didn't want to exchange numbers or connect on social media?

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