Ladies, what do you think of a guy who doesn’t need you?

Question

I earn as much as a doctor, so I’m happy being single. I can pretty much buy anything I ever wanted. And I eat any foods I like too. I hardly eat at home. So having a girlfriend would actually set me back because I’ll be spending money on dates and such. And I would have to deal with their emotions and all that. Because you can’t make everyone happy, so you have to invest in a girl. Anyways, I go to bars and such. And I meet women who expect me to lick their feet where they stand. And I hate that shit because I’m not doing that. I’m not simping for a girl who’s not putting as much effort as me. I don’t even buy women drinks because I don’t think they’re worth it until I know they want me for who I am as a person. So I never have lol. And I honestly just leave them if I see something wrong with them. Like baggage, emotional problems, or are just rude. I’m not one to babysit, tell others what to do, trying to change them, or deal with problems. I want a stress free life, so that’s all I want. And most women I meet don’t meet my standards. Anyways, I mostly spend my time working, doing hobbies, and spending time with friends and family.

Altheavas · Accepted Answer

In that case I would categorize you as one of the high value man, as they describe it today. You would need a high value woman, a high value woman, is a woman who knows her worth! A woman who takes care of herself, and does not need a man to complete her. She is completed in herself.
She is the counterpart of a high value man. Therefore, neither one need the other. However, when it comes to intimacy, they see the other as a source of love, care and joy. They are happy to support, and do for each other, whatever’s necessary without expectation that one is to be 50/50 or 40/60 whatever. They shouldn’t have a gender roles. A man should know how to survive, cook, clean, work, just like a woman should. She needs to lift something heavy… she’s doesn’t feel able or in the mindset to do it, and she needs a man to do it. A man just need to know when to step in his male energy, he should know when he has to act, that would also bring out her feminine energy. Then either don’t have to dictated on what need to be done.

Since you value yourself as a high value man, your counterpart should be as well, since it won’t be a necessity for either of you!
What’s you’re describing here doesn’t sounds of your alley. Maybe you need to step out of that circle, if you’re interest in finding the one.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Just because someone has a particular occupation or class level doesn’t make them entitled nor attractive as a potential partner if their character, morals, intentions, and values sucks. A solid relationship obtains needs and wants including radical change in building a good foundation long-term. Women are also successful and want an equal partner or someone who can lead. Most of the time if you’re looking for a good partner, she may not be at the bar. If you’re looking for someone likeminded, sure there are women who also don’t “need” men and may not be as emotionally present/invested either. Plenty independent women who can take care of themselves yet still want a good man to be someone they can rely on for certain areas, treat them with respect and love, and make them feel feminine.

I’d want someone who wants and needs me just as I would with them. Definitely someone who will love me for me and what we could build together as a couple/individuals. Not simping/chasing around hard enough to realize what they may have & be loyal. Confident yet humble and open minded. Maturity levels. Good and kind soul. Good intentions. Etc

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

It’s need vs want.

Nobody should NEED to be with anybody.

I’m very self-sufficient.

I actually don’t NEED family or friends or a significant other.

Would I like that though?

Would I want family, friends, and a significant other?

Yes.

And that’s why I have them in my life.

Every girl wants to be desired.

How would you like to be with a girl that doesn’t need OR want you?

It just won’t work.

Even if there’s no NEED, there still has to be the WANT.

Girls tend to like guys that are very self-sufficient.

But even if they aren’t needed, they still want to feel wanted.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you're in the U. S., what they'll do is try to get as friendly with you as possible as soon as they see how much money you spend and what kind of car you drive. Of course, being "empowered" and all😉 they'll use their looks, first, foremost and last. If your mouth doesn't drop and you don't agree to spend money on her by taking her out or acting as if you just had a near fatal heart attack because of her mere presence... you'll get the ugghh😒"you must be gay." Because of course, in their mature humbleness, ANY GUY who doesn't start stuttering on sight, turning his pockets inside out the moment she appears? Must be gay!😃

Account · Answer

I feel the same way about men, so I understand in some ways.
I don't like being needed and I also would never find myself in a position of needing anyone.
That is why we will end up alone but being alone is more than perfect to me.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

You don’t meet my standards either because I don’t date guys who swear. I don’t need your money so it does not matter whether you work at McDonalds or Goldman Sachs.

Anonymous · Answer

"Because I'll have to pay for dates and such. And deal with their emotions [...] "I’m not simping for a girl who’s not putting as much effort as me. I don’t even buy women drinks because I don’t think they’re worth it until I know they want me for who I am as a person. So I never have lol."

Reread your own words and then question your situation again. You "don't even buy drinks," but you want women to put in "as much afford as me". I do sincerely hope you'll put more effort in a relationship than considering to buy a drink.

Believe me, the problem is not whether a women is needed. The problem is that you don't want a partner enough, to want to invest in someone. Of course no one is going to want you for who you are, if this is your attitude towards women in the first place. Believe me, we'd happily decline.

Nevertheless, when it comes to your actual question, regardless of this narrow minded formulation, there are women on this planet who do not need a man either. In fact, no healthy, satisfied and confident person is in need of a partner. What we need is connection, respect, understanding, loyalty, love, anything alike. And that often comes from a mutual desire which makes us want to be with someone.

Why would a woman want to invest time in someone who is too worried about being used, but does expect them to do all the investing, but also doesn't want to create a deeper bond? Because, you know, that's what emotions do.

1) Don't worry about needing or not needing a woman, because I don't think anyone should want to be needed.
2) Ask yourself what exactly you want from a woman and how you will provide her with the same. Because if you can't or don't want to give as you expect to be given, no healthy relationship will be formed anyway.

Lady_Heart · Answer

Isn't needing going simultaneously with want?

If so then nope. When a man needs nothing from u he will be arrogant, abit like u. Which isn't bad but when u put it out loud then it will seem bad. I like traditional men who didn't overthink about all of these things. I want my man to need me healthly cuz i feel like needing me is sign of how much they want me. If u literally need nothing from me how will the relationship be. What about sex? Don't u need that from ur partner?

You might not need someone right now but when u old n alone then it will be different case. I get that many people rn are full of past garbages n meeting someone like that can make u carry all of that which isn't pleasant so instead of saying u dont need anyone, u might just find a decent person who doesn't hv drama or mature enough to not being down their drama into u.

A human being will always crave for something they don't have, when they have everything they need. I also don't believe you don't want a woman, maybe u just tired of meeting wrong ones.

Anonymous · Answer

Your opinions seems valid but love doesn't exactly work according to your opinions. Love means adjusting. Adjusting yourself for a person you choose. Women have emotions. Without emotions you can't trust her to love you. If a girl doesn't have emotions and if you're choosing her, you will suffer later when she leaves you. It is high likely for an emotionless girl to leave you since she doesn't value your emotions. You don't need to deal with egoistic girls but you can deal with emotional girl who cares for you. If a girl cares for you, it is less likely for her to cheat on you. So consider this when having a relationship with any girl. If she cares for you and is willing to be with you, you can trust her. If she says that she have exes, you don't need to deal with her since she will have some feelings on her ex even if they might move on. Choose a girl without exes but with emotions. If you had an ex in the past you can choose a girl with exes because you know how to deal with her. But if you were never in relationship with any girl earlier always choose a girl without ex and with emotions and care on you. You can not find a girl instantly with these qualities as no girl likes to get vulnerable with a guy who she simply knows. Become a best friend to a girl that you like and propose her one day if you see all the qualities of a good girl in her which I mentioned

MsBell2018 · Answer

I feel that you're in a good place. You're financially comfortable for the lifestyle you want. That's wonderful! Good for you that you know what you want. You should never NEED a partner, but want one. Unless you wanted to financially "rescue" a partner, she/he should be at your same level or close, that way neither feels taken advantage of. Dont compromise what you want. It can become a resentment or point of contention down the road. Enjoy your life & be satisfied with it, with the understanding that you might not find that partner for a while, if at all. I pray you do find the perfect mate.
Blessings

RavenDarkheart · Answer

So you assume because you’re well off all women will be gold diggers and expect to live off you? If that the case, (please notice I said “IF,”) I’d find that view offensive. I may not make doctor level pay, but I can cover my bills and have enough to pay my own way when I go out. I don’t expect men to lick my feet. I understand what your initial idea was, I don’t like guys being needy and expecting me to cover everything. Just because I had one ex that expected to leach off me doesn’t mean I slander all men based on him.

Jkgordon · Answer

You should definitely stay by yourself. You haven’t found a female that captures your heart. You sound a bit cheap which is fine because it’s your money. What is your sign astrology?
Women with baggage gold diggers you have apparently come across.

The bar is not the place to find your companion. When you find your companion it’s usually they cross our path so to speak.
Someone catches your eye when you are out and about. You strike small talk and then you enjoy each other conversation. That's natural and better. Bars is not the place. That’s where your poor girls and gold diggers lurk~

Stay single until someone catches your attention.

are you a cancer or Capricorn?

MzAsh · Answer

I think it’s fine. I want my husband to want, desire, and respect me… not “need” me. There’s a saying “go where you are wanted.” I only want those who want me. And that goes for friends, family, men, employers, etc. I have too many options to chase anyone or anything.

Dinklex3 · Answer

?

I've never dated a guy who needed me, and I’ve never dated anyone I thought I needed either.

I date someone because I like them as a person and enjoy their company. Not because I “need” them. & I think that’s the same for most people. They date because they’re looking for a companion to enjoy life with.

kaylaS91 · Answer

I get where you're coming from as I'm financially and otherwise fine on my own. I don't 'need' a man for anything other than companionship, y'know? Someone to connect wiry mentally/emotionally and of course sexually.

If the women you've dated brought more stress to your life than happiness, that just means you guys weren't compatible. Don't give up just yet as you can't home home and share your thoughts/emotions with money. 😜

Apple1996 · Answer

No man should "need" me. He should "want" me tho. From the way you are sounding it doesn't seem like you like women at all so I guess stay away from them

Cutegirl06 · Answer

I see so many girls at school that feel like they need a guy in their lives. I think that people who need a guy/girl in their lives don't really love them. It's just a need. I learned this really early when I was 9. I do have a boyfriend and our relationship is built on mutual respect for each other. I'm only 17 but I've been through things that made me see right through people. Most people just want to be with someone not because they love each other but just so they are not alone.

jaskin777 · Answer

I don't really think nothing tbh
Like tbh I believe a woman is supposed to provide for the man not the other way around .

It shouldn't matter how much money he makes tbh

It should only matter by the heart

And where the fuck u think all girls want dates? And buying them something?

That not like how I am.
Just sitting in a pasture is good enough for Me none of that fancy shit is necessary

MissBoogus · Answer

Honestly it might be hard for me because I love to take care of my partner. It’s a way to show affection. If you never needed my help, I might be unsure what to do. I would hope you ask for help in things. I hope when you find a girlfriend you do view her as someone you’d need and appreciate!

Anonymous · Answer

According to my understanding, a relationship is just a recreational activity. The moment you stop experiencing dopamine or other pleasures, it starts to feel unpleasant. You can stay happy without a relationship; there's no doubt about it. Our media and society have sold us the idea that we need a relationship to be happy, which I believe is a completely made-up concept. Society and popular beliefs may subconsciously influence us, but despite this, you might still be chasing a relationship that you don't really want.

My advice: have fun! Enjoy yourself. There are many safe recreational activities in life to get that dopamine, and love and relationships are just one of them. If you're feeling the need for it, you may have been influenced by the marketing strategies of our society and media. Which is fine but be aware of the Matrix!

MemeSupreme · Answer

you sound like you don't wanna put effort in lol like change your routine or life at all for someone else. anything that makes you uncomfortable is a no go

it's your life tho so do whatever you want. that's how i interpreted it

SphynxUK · Answer

I’m just here to search for the evidence of you putting in effort?
Where? When? Anyone you do meet isn’t good enough. Why? Because you don’t feel good enough for them, so you cut them off before they’ve even started. I think you need a new plan….

laly520 · Answer

I won't want him to need me in a way he will like provide for me or handle me financially but I would want him to see me as important in a way it would make difference if I am away from him

sage2021 · Answer

You say you want a stress free life and you're a doctor. Sounds like an oxymoron to me.

Ladies, what do you think of a guy who doesn’t need you?

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Ladies, what do you think of a guy who doesn’t need you?

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