Guy I started dating asked me to rate him and he got offended at my answer. Should I have lied?

[Anonymous]

We started talking like a month ago, we had our first real date recently. Since we met he said he doesn’t know how I’m interested in him and thinks I’m rated a 12/10. He calls me beautiful, striking, etc. I honestly do not care about looks that much for men. Like yes I want to be attracted to my man, but that is dependent on personality factors and overall his kindness and humor, etc. I don’t date men for their bodies or faces. I’ve dated men of all builds and heights. Anyways, on our date he kept telling me to rate him. I kept saying I don’t rate men like that but he said to just give him a number and so I said an 8. He was genuinely offended by it. He told me I should date a man I see as a 10, and that it shouldn’t be him if he’s an 8 to me. I told him that the rate is an objective rating for me, subjectively is different and it isn’t a scale of my attraction. Like there are men I objectively can say are a 10 but I’m not attracted to them. But since this he seems distanced from me. Should I have lied?

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that's a tough situation girl. I can see why the guy got upset when you rated him an 8, even though you tried to explain it's not a measure of your attraction. Guys can be really sensitive about that kind of stuff.

Honestly, I don't think you should have lied to him. I get that he was pushing you to give him a number, but being honest about how you see him is important, even if it's not what he wanted to hear. Trying to spare his feelings by lying probably wouldn't have gone over any better in the long run.

The way he reacted, getting all offended and then distancing himself, shows he's a little insecure. He should be able to take constructive feedback, even if it's not glowing praise. And you were upfront that the number isn't the same as your subjective attraction, which is totally fair.

I think you did the right thing by being honest. Even if it stung his ego a bit, it's better than leading him on or pretending to see him as more than an 8 in your eyes. He needs to work on that insecurity rather than putting it on you.

My advice would be to give him some space to cool off, then try talking to him again. Explain where you're coming from - that you value personality and character over looks, and the number wasn't a judgment, just your honest assessment. See if he can understand and move past it.

If he continues to make a big deal out of it or can't accept your perspective, then he might not be the right guy for you. You deserve someone who can handle honest feedback, not someone who gets all defensive. Stay true to yourself, girl!

[seanscoopers]

Be real
I think your right with