Am I in the wrong or him? or are we both wrong?

[WinCx3d]

I was texting the guy I’m seeing and our dialogue went like this.

Me: do you have time for us to see each other later I’m off of work

Him: yeah of course you can come see me at anytime

Me: okay I’m coming around 9

And he never responded to that last message of me telling him I’m coming at 9. The next day he texted me saying i stood him up but i said “you never texted back” then he said “you don’t really like me Forreal “

[Lliam]

You were wrong. He said to come by any time and you said "Okay, I'll be there around 9:00." What more was there to say?
Then you didn't show up.

You were way overthinking and making assumptions. If you weren't sure, you should have texted him again rather than just blowing him off.

Although, he was stupid for accusing you of not liking him because it was just a misunderstanding.

It sounds like you both need to grow up.

[Garud]

what a strange communication gap
It is his mistake that he did not reply but when he did not reply you also did not ask him again that is 9 ok or not
both of you never did any confirmation

there is a gap...

[WinCx3d]

But he didn’t respond he texted me back a whole day later

[Garud]

Even among my friends, suppose we make a plan in the afternoon to meet at night.
Even then I call at night and ask whether everyone is coming or not.
Because I know that even after everything is fixed, some people still have a 50:50 mindset or some of them never said sure I will come at 11 pm.
That is why it is said, a man who asks is always happy.

If you are so tight and can't ask for confirmation 2-3 times then remember
this planet is full of people who are too lazy to confirm anything and you are the one who is proactive in confirming before moving.
Your energies are not matching.
Or go beyond that and start affirming. People will tell you why you are reaffirming then you can just tell - to make sure.

there is no point in arguing, give it a few more tries and if the person is not matching with your energy then you know...

[sage2021]

This is a nothing burger! If someone says you can come over anytime he says what he means and he means what he says.
That's an open invitation and not everyone is nice enough to give that invitation.
You picked 9 o'clock so he thought that you were going to be there at 9. Period.

[Jessica405]

Ya should have turned up at 9. He shoould have texted confirmation.

Usual story. Lack of communication!

[WinCx3d]

Why would i show up at his house at 9 when he didn’t say yes or no to that time

[Jessica405]

You said 9. He didn't say no.

[WinCx3d]

He didn’t say yes either

[Jessica405]

Well, either way, you both lost out. As I say, lack of communication. Both at fault.

[Lynx122]

He said you can come by whenever you want so he already agreed to you coming by. Then you said you're coming at 9 so he saw that as confirmation that you understood that he agreed to you coming by and that you were gonna come by at 9.

[aquamoon]

It seems like there was a communication breakdown in this situation. On one hand, you did text him to let him know you were coming over at 9, and he didn't respond, which could be why he said you stood him up. However, it's not fair for him to say "you don't really like me for real" without considering his own role in the communication breakdown. It sounds like there was a misunderstanding that could have been resolved with better communication from both sides.

[danielle872024]

no one was wrong on this if you guys planned for where and when then it was known already to be there. I prefer to call so the person knew the time cause they don’t always get a notice text right then... It does happen

[Juxtapose]

That was a miscommunication but yeah, saying you're going to arrive is a commitment and I can see why he got mad but I can also see why you were unsure.

Oh well, looks like it is fucked now. Good luck steering that ship back around.

[WinCx3d]

But he never texted back

[Juxtapose]

Why should he have to text back? Do you assume he just put his phone down and didn't read what you said?

[Juxtapose]

He straight up said you can come see him anytime, a reply was not needed. You could show up whenever.

[WinCx3d]

No my phone shows when someone opens my message

[Juxtapose]

People can read notifications without opening the application them. But I can see why that caused you confusion.

I think if you explain yourself he should calm down, if he is reasonable.

[WinCx3d]

So why couldn’t he just reply to the texts and say “9 is good”

[Juxtapose]

And why couldn't you come over when he said you can come over anytime?

You're splitting hairs, you either have to suck up and initiate the conversation to fix this or just let the problem ride itself out to its destination. Your choice.

[WinCx3d]

Because I’m not the type to come i we not after a confirmed time. Something could come up and 9 wasn’t a good time anymore but i wouldn’t know that unless he answered the text

[Juxtapose]

Well I guess if you don't want to talk to him you can wait for him to talk to you or move on yourself. What do you plan on doing?

[menina]

He's the one who's wrong because he didn't text you back. There was no confirmation so you couldn't be sure that he wanted to see you.

[seeyounexttuesday]

You're in the wrong. 1000%. He said you could see him, you gave him the time you'd be there. There was nothing he needed to respond. You were a bitch.

[WinCx3d]

He didn’t say 9 was an okay time he didn’t say anything

[seeyounexttuesday]

He did. He clearly said (which you retyped) "you can come see me anytime" which means it's an open invitation. You gave him the time you'd come.

[WinCx3d]

But when i gave him the time he never said the time was okay or not. He did not mean literally that i can come over anytime he does have a job and kids

[seeyounexttuesday]

He said it was ok prior.

[WinCx3d]

He didn’t agree on the time. I said 9 but he didn’t say yes or no he could’ve been busy at 9 how would i have known unless he says okay or no

[seeyounexttuesday]

He would have said something if he was busy.

[bowenw]

He should have acknowledged you. Maybe next time phrase it as a question to prompt him to confirm.

[WinCx3d]

Yeah i agree he didn’t confirm it so i didn’t go over there

[shortster]

A little bit of both. He never confirmed your message; but you could have tried sending another text before heading over to confirm he got it.

[WinCx3d]

I figured he was busy that’s why i didn’t double text him i said he will read it when he has time

[shortster]

Him saying come over anytime suggests he wasn't that busy.

[WinCx3d]

I don’t think he literally means that he does have a job and kids

[Yannae]

Both.
He is acting lika baby because you didn't come.

And you said you'd come over, but didn't.

[sirderpsalot123]

It wouldn't have killed him to reply, but "you can come anytime" means 9 is an acceptable time to go see him.

[Jerre]

I think he should have confirmed the time. Next time ask a guy “I can come over at 9 if that’s OK?”

[WinCx3d]

I agree he didn’t say anything

[Benlovegs]

You are correct he didn’t text, what’s your expectation from this relationship? Bc it seems to me he is like whatever

[msc545]

Stop texting and start talking to each other like adults and this shit won't happen.

[Makeushiver]

Sounds like a bullshit excuse

[WinCx3d]

From who? Me or who

[Jennz6]

Lack of communication for both of you.

[WinCx3d]

How so?

[Jennz6]

You should have made him confirm that he knew you were coming

[WinCx3d]

He didn’t reply
Back after i said 9 so i assumed he was a busy then he said i stood him up

[slatyb]

You're not a priority.

[Jamie05rhs]

You were wrong. It's 100% your fault.

[WinCx3d]

How so?

[Jamie05rhs]

Because you said "I'm coming around 9.". But you didn't. You didn't come. You didn't keep your word.

[Anonymous]

For all your answers, move on