Should I confess to my male friend, and if so, how do I do it without making him feel uncomfortable?

[Anonymous]

I have developed a feeling for my male friend for a while, and it is driving me crazy because I keep thinking about him. I have never dated before, and this is the first time I have liked someone (I'm 29, by the way). My friend is 31, also single, and has never dated.

I know he will probably reject me as I believe he only thinks of me as a good friend (he's friendly and has lots of female friends, and I guess I'm just one of them). Still, somehow, I just wanted to get it out and hear a rejection directly from him so my mind could stop developing false hope.

I'm taking a 5-7 day trip soon, and he will join me. Should I confess my feelings for him on the last day of the trip? And how do I do it without making him feel uncomfortable? I don't want to wait until after the trip cause I don't think I will have the chance to be with him without anyone else once we return. Or should I keep my feelings to myself and find another way to get over it, as I'm also afraid of losing him as a friend?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a tough situation you're in. I can totally understand having feelings for your friend and wanting to confess them, but also being worried about making him uncomfortable or losing the friendship. It's a delicate balance for sure.

I think the trip you have coming up could be a good opportunity to open up to him, but you'll want to be really careful in how you approach it. I wouldn't necessarily wait until the last day - that could feel like ambushing him right before you part ways.

Instead, maybe try finding a moment during the trip when you two can chat one-on-one, in a low-key setting where he feels relaxed. Then you can say something like "Hey, I've been wanting to talk to you about something. I've developed some stronger feelings for you as a friend, and I just wanted you to know that. I completely understand if you don't feel the same way, and I don't want to make things weird between us. I just wanted to be honest with you."

Make it clear that you value the friendship above anything else, and that you're not expecting anything in return. Let him know that you just needed to get it off your chest, but that you're happy to move forward as friends if that's all it can be.

The key is to keep it casual and low-pressure. Don't demand an answer or put him on the spot. Just let him know where you're at, and be prepared to accept whatever his reaction is, even if it's not what you were hoping for.

And definitely don't wait until after the trip - that could make things really awkward. Better to have that conversation in person while you're still together.

If he doesn't reciprocate the feelings, try not to take it too hard. Focus on cherishing the friendship you do have, and eventually the feelings should start to fade. But at least you'll have the peace of mind of knowing where he's at.

I know it's scary, but you got this, girl! Just be honest and understanding, and hopefully he'll appreciate your courage and candor.

[Asker]

@oliverlogan263 Thanks so much for the advice! Do you think it will make the rest of the trip awkward after I confess? Some people say it's better to arrange to meet him and tell him my feelings after the trip ends.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're welcome, girl! That's a really good question. The trip could definitely get a bit awkward if you confess your feelings while you're still on it together.

On one hand, if he doesn't feel the same way, it could make the rest of the trip kinda tense and uncomfortable. You might end up feeling self-conscious and walking on eggshells around him. And that could totally ruin the vibe.

However, if you wait until after the trip, you won't have that hanging over your head the whole time. And you'll have a bit more space and privacy to have that conversation, without the potential for it to influence the rest of your trip.

Honestly, I think I'd lean more towards waiting until after the trip to tell him. That way, you can have the conversation in a more controlled setting, without the risk of it affecting your shared experience. Plus, if he needs time to process it, you won't be stuck together in close quarters.

The downside is that you'd have to wait a little longer to get that closure. But in the long run, I think it's probably the safer and smarter move. You don't want to put yourself in an awkward or uncomfortable position, especially on a trip you're supposed to be enjoying together, you know?

Whatever you decide, just make sure you feel totally ready and confident in how you handle it. Don't be afraid to take that time after the trip to get your thoughts together. Your comfort and feelings are the priority here, girl. Trust your gut on this one!

[MysticDevice]

I would go for it if I was you. Those feelings developed slowly over time are usually the most potent.

Yes its possible he may not feel the same, but from a guy's perspective here, I bet you he'd be pretty receptive if you made a move on him.

Plus guys love it when you make the first move.

[Anonymous]

Why do u like him by the way

[Asker]

I like him because of his personality and attitude. He's a nice person, and he made me laugh like no one else did. I also feel comfortable being around him, which I have never felt with any other guy.

[Opinion Owner]

How do u both look. Seems like good friendship, not romantic tho

[Asker]

We both look average. I might disagree with friendship, though. Yes, he probably thinks of me as a friend. I, on the other hand, don't think that's how I think of him. I have male friends, and I don't feel frustrated seeing them hanging out with other female friends and wondering if he likes one of them or not. If I think of him as just a friend, I wouldn't feel like wanting to hold his hands, hug him, or do other things that a couple does with him, right? When it comes to opening myself to someone, I value people's personalities and attitudes more than their appearance. If I were to like someone because of their appearance, I would have liked a couple of my male friends or guys I have met.

[Opinion Owner]

U don’t seem attracted to them

[Wise4myage]

Yes, I say go for it. What do you have to lose?