Does he TRULY only see me as a friend? OR just scared of commitment?

[Anonymous]

I started seeing a guy last year (me 31F and him 38M) and we dated for 7 months. We had talks about how we felt about our relationship and if there was anything that was bothering us. Our last “check in” was good, he wanted to continue forward and invited me to Easter to meet his parents. I meet the parents and they really liked me, apparently I’m the first girlfriend to meet them. Two weeks later, after having a really good date night and weekend, he ends things. He said that he didn’t see this going anywhere and didn’t want to continue stringing me along. I was blindsided. We met up a week later as I needed time to process. We talk things out and agreed that we would be friends as we both agreed that it also felt like we lost a best friend. He was pretty clear that we could be friends and it would never be anymore than that. We continued seeing each other pretty much every weekend. He would give me a lot of mixed signals but I’d remind myself that it’s just friends. Recently, things have developed. We were physically intimate for the 1st time, we cuddle, kiss, and sleep together again (if I spent the night I’d sleep on the couch). We’ve made future activity plans, NYE plans and I was invited to his family’s Christmas. I asked him if we were back together/what we were doing? He asked if that’s what I wanted and I had said “yes.” He said this was something he needed to think about but didn’t feel that much has changed, he respects me as he’s not someone to sleep around and knows I’m not like that either, sex is a big deal to us (or at least so I thought). I know he’s not seeing/on any dating apps and he’s aware that I’m not either. He really likes me (he’s told me he does), we enjoy spending time together, have similar values/goals/interests, I know he’s attracted to me, etc. I know we have to have a talk and I may have to walk away, but is it POSSIBLE that he really does want to be with me but he’s just afraid of commitment?

[MannMitAntworten]

You are wasting your time. Cut ties and move on elsewhere. This is as good as it will ever get. Don’t let time slip you by by waiting and hoping for the outcome you want. It will never come.

[Asker]

Thank you! So, there’s no point in talking to see if there is something that can be worked out together or maybe even with our pastor?
-A month and half ago we talked and he asked what we were doing. I said that we were just friends and that’s all it ever would be because that’s what he said he wanted. His response was how he didn’t know what the future would hold. I know we both love eachother
- also, thank you for being kind. I know I sound delusional, I’m just really struggling especially with the holidays coming up.

[MannMitAntworten]

No, your pastor will make no impact on his heart and mind. You cannot force love. You are ‘in’ or you are not. He may ‘love’ you but he isn’t “in love” with you. There is a difference. Personally, I wouldn’t even be, “just friends”. Reason being is because one of you will always hold out hope which ultimately only serves to sabotage all successive relationships which may fallow … not to mention it doesn’t make most people comfortable knowing their significant other is keeping their ex around as a friend. Of course the part you do not tell them is how you would drop them in a heart beat if that ex had a sudden change of heart and desired you back. Cut ties and move forward. Friends with exes just give your heart false hope leaving your heart never truly free to fall completely in love with another again.

[Abbycado]

Sounds like he just wants to be friends. He clearly tells you that more than once.

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about it

[In_Trance]

Friend