So there's this one guy, he's one year younger than me, I'm 19 and he's 18, and goes to my old high school, I've just started uni. We matched on a dating app during summer, texted for a bit and then met for a walk. Last week he invited me to his house for a dinner - he told me that he wants to cook me some pasta. I arrived at his place, we went shopping for ingredients together, then cooked and ate together and talked a lot. After that he walked me to the bus stop.
Would you call this a date? Would you do all of this with a girl that you consider just a friend? His mom interrupted us a few times and it turns out he never invited a girl over, not to cook with her for sure. What do you think about this? Does he see me as just a friend or something more?
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Hmm that's kind of a tough one. It definitely sounds like more than just friends to me. I mean why else would a guy invite a girl over just the two of you, go shopping together, cook and eat a meal alone, and then walk her to the bus after. That's a lot more one on one time than usual friends spend. And if he's never had a girl over before that's a pretty big deal. His mom interrupting also makes it seem like she thought it was something more too. I'd say it's a really good sign he likes you as more than a friend. Guys don't usually put in that much effort with a friend that's a girl. I'd say you definitely have a good chance at being more than friends if you want!
thats also what i thought, he was literally cleaning the whole kitchen before me arriving, so it does sound like a big deal, why would a guy put so much effort to just meet with a random friend?
Yeah for sure! A guy isn't going to go all out cleaning the kitchen and cooking a homemade meal just for a casual friend. That's date territory for sure. A few other signs he's probably into you:
- He put effort into his appearance to make a good impression
- Maintained eye contact and asked you questions to get to know you better
- Laughed at your jokes and seemed engaged in the conversation
- Walked you to the bus so he could spend extra time with you
- Hasn't just seen you as a friend if this was his first girl over ever
It really does seem like he was nervous and wanted to impress you. Guys don't clean their house spotless for someone they're just chillin' with. I'd say you've got a good shot here.
When you text him saying you had fun, maybe casually ask if he'd be down to hang out again sometime. You could suggest getting coffee or seeing a movie. If he says yes, it's a date. And then you'll know for sure he's feeling you too! Don't overthink it - sounds like he's into you. Go for it!
alright so its been almost two weeks and we've texted a few times, the last time was on Friday and it wasn't that long, i started the conversation. we haven't spoken since, he was active on social media often but hasn't texted me since Friday. is he waiting for me to ask him to hang out? i mean he invited me to his house so maybe now he's waiting for me to do the next move? or maybe he's just not interested anymore? what do u think?
Hmm it's a bit hard to say for sure. A few things could be going on:
- Like you said, since he invited you over last time, he might be waiting for you to take the initiative and ask him to hang out again. Guys generally like it when the girl shows interest too.
- Or it's possible he's getting busy with other stuff - starting a new semester, hanging with friends, etc. Two weeks isn't that long not to text.
- Could also be he's a bit shy/awkward and isn't sure how to keep things going. Not all guys are super smooth with this kind of stuff.
My advice would be to shoot him a text asking to link up - something chill like "Wanna grab coffee after class tomorrow?" That way you'll know for sure if he's still interested or not based on how he responds. It's better than just sitting around wondering, you know? If he says yes, then I wouldn't worry too much about the slow texting. But if he makes up an excuse or says no, then maybe he's not so into it. Nothing ventured nothing gained though. You've got nothing to lose by putting it out there!
Man, for supposedly having more intuition girls sure are clueless at times. He likes you ding dong.
hahah but u mean he likes me as a friend or he wants to take things further? and could u say why u think so?
Omg... are you messing with me right now?
noo, i really dont know and would like to know a guy's point of view here
He likes you as more than a friend. His mom totally busted him, you didn't get that. If I have my buddies over and we happen to eat (watching football etc) we might order pizza, or I might make a pot of chili for EVERYONE. But I don't call one buddy and say "hey Matt come over for dinner. Just me and you.
hmm after that evening we haven't talked much, i texted him afterwards that the pasta was great and i had a really good time, he just replied that it was his pleasure and we haven't texted since. i dont really know why. is it okay for me to invite him somewhere? should i wait some time? and should i text him or wait for him to text me? i dont get it because u say that he's into me but we haven't talked since this time, he just sent me this one reply and thats it.
He's waiting for you to show interest. Don't get into the mindset that the guy has to do everything, and all you do is show up.
Of course it's okay to ask him out!
maybe you're right, i dont want to seem desperate
Omg, how is that desperate? It's never desperate to let someone know you are interested. You girls are so retarded about appearing desperate.
hahah actually he texted me yesterday like few hours after i wrote this, so i guess thats good
You still need to let him know instead of doing nothing.
what can i do to let him know?
How is your flirting game?
Right now it's just friends. Neither one of you has made a move yet, if you know what I mean
sure but do u think he would like to make things more serious in the future? i mean i wouldn't invite a guy over, cook with him etc and just see him as just another friend of mine. this evening seemed quite intimate emotionally, but I don't know if its just my opinion hahah
I have a "friend" who does this. She doesn't "like me"
yeah girls are a bit different from guys, but what about u? would u do all of this with a girl who u see just as a friend or someone more (in the future)?
You JUST said, you wouldn't invite a guy over and do all that, if you didn't think of him as just another friend. Why did you just then say "girls are a bit different from guys"?
You just negated your own answer
because im talking about myself personally, i hear a lot of guys, even the one that invited me over, that girls they meet often just play with their feelings etc and i guess i just look at things differently, i really care about people;pp so if i just liked a guy as a friend i would go with him for a beer or sth but if i like u more, id invite u to my house, make this cute atmosphere that we had, get to know each other more, cook together - for me its intimate
Then why doesn't she "like me". If she does the exact same things?
as i said, girls and guys are different. for girls inviting a guy, cooking with him or even hugging is platonic - we do that with our girl friends too, its normal. but guys dont really do such things with their guy friends, so when a girl talks with a guy about emotions, trauma etc for a girl its normal but a guy thinks that the girl has a crush on him. u know, just look at friendzoning - mostly guys end up in friendzones, because its harder for them to have platonic relationships with girls, they often look at their female friends as potential girlfriends, whereas girls just dont care i guess. what about the girl you r talking about? how do your meetings look like? do u just laugh, talk about nonsense? or is the vibe more intimate, u stare into each others eyes? if its the first option then she just likes u as a friend but if its the second then she more likely likes u more. thats why im asking about this guy because for me it was more of an intimate evening but I don't know what its like from a guys perspective.
I don't know what she's doing. I think right now with him he's just trying to be friends with you