Why do people who have the highest standards have the least to offer?

[Anonymous]

I’ll say you have a right to preferences as well as standards. But just as nobody is entitled to you…. You’re also not entitled to anyone else. Just remember that

Most the time the kind of people they want also have standards and can choose who they want. I’m talking about both men and women. Who sit around constantly complaining about the opposite sex. How nobody meets their standards. Yet these people have such little to offer themselves and they tend to project who they are on others.

The ones calling other people losers more times then not are losers themselves. If nobody of them opposite sex (whose decent) wants you then it sounds like a YOU problem

[Anonymous]

well, there's realistic/achievable and unrealistic/unachievable standards

expecting someone over 6'3 is unrealistic because height can't be changed

expecting someone who weighs less than 200 lbs is realistic because weight can be changed

likewise

expecting someone who makes over 7 figures is unrealistic because those jobs are limited and reserved for certain people e. g. pro-athletes, CEOs

expecting someone who is a virgin is realistic because everyone's default is a virgin, nobody is born with 100+ body count

it's mostly a numbers game and ability to change/not change certain factors

then there are certain principles one shouldn't have to compromise. is it wrong to not want someone who's racist and sexist towards a certain demographic? for the sake of the argument 99% of demographic is discriminatory towards another demographic, should someone have to compromise on those "unrealistic standards"?

[Unit1]

I get what you mean.

Some can afford to.

Some are just delulu

(insert a picture of a single mother on online dating with her profile stating, that she expects a tall man and all bills to be paid for)

[Asker]

I agree and not all single moms are that way. Some are very responsible and even if they made some bad choices. They have matured a lot. Others it could have come from a divorce or widowed (that was not her fault). Some maybe got raped and had a baby.

But I definitely know the type you’re talking about who give single moms a bad name.

[MoonFace2]

Sometimes. Not always. I’m intelligent, attractive, kind and gregarious and ambitious, creative. I have interesting friends and I’ve only recently met someone who seems to fit my requirements. You’ll never get everything you want in a partner. They’ll never get everything they want in you. I’d rather be alone than settle for someone I don’t love. That’s living a lie and you’re destined for an ugly divorce. However, some people do have unrealistic expectations. I think it’s because deep down, they know they’ve got little to offer the people they want and they’re trying to prove to themselves and everyone else that they’ve ‘got it.’ You (and I mean everyone); should just feel sorry for these people, rather than laughing or sneering at them; and thank God you’re not ugly, unintelligent or poor or badly dressed.

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right

[Asker]

I will also say NOBODY should settle for someone they’re not happy with. A real relationship is give as well as take but unfortunately some people greatly over value themselves.

Someone like you though I understand if you have a lot of people wanting you. That you want to pick someone they you genuinely love. People who settle aren’t only hurting themselves but another person as well.

To trick someone into thinking you genuinely love them when you don’t hurts them. Especially because many times that will result in a LOT of cheating. A lot of negativity because they’re resentful or who they’re with. The list goes on

[MoonFace2]

Agreed 😊. You’re right about that.

[Apple1996]

They're trying to find someone to fill in all the things that they lack

[Asker]

You have a point there

[HighValue]

I have high standards, but I exceed them myself. I just want someone NEAR my quality, not above, or even equal to me.

But I understand the question because I have seen plenty of low quality people say what they want and it is obvious that they have no chance. Dating/relationships ARE a competition and people need to realize who they will be competing against when trying to pick a potential partner.

[Nikki1989]

Many people are their own worst enemy. They are single and alone because they made themselves that way.

[Asker]

Spot on and it’s a choice to be that way

[Nikki1989]

Yes, I butt heads with people on here over that all the time, but they can't see outside the tiny bubble they live in. Sad really.

[Asker]

It is but most people are looking for the answer they want to hear. Not a honest answer I enjoy answering people asking legitimate questions.

But those who are just wanting validation aren’t getting it from me. They think people are toxic on here for telling them the truth.

[Kelley1]

The top 1% have high standards that they deserve and fulfill. Others can never achieve their high standards.

[Asker]

I agree people who have something to offer BETTER have standards or else they will be taken advantage of. By people who…. Well are exactly who I’m talking about

[Kelley1]

Taking advantage of happens but those are the exceptions.

[Asker]

Taking advantage of people is more common then many want to think. Many good people have a high level of sympathy. They want to help someone. Fix someone. Change someone.

It’s both sexes both men and women. But unfortunately bad people exploit that

[Kelley1]

It is common enough that they take advantage of the elite in minor things involving money totaling several thousands of dollars. However, when it comes to choosing a mate, that seldom happens, but it does happen, especially to beautiful women who are fooled by smooth-talking men.

[Pohjolan]

Some people want to prop themselves up by their mate while people who already have their shit together can date based on how emotionally attracted they are to someone rather than how they would benefit from dating someone.

This however doesn't mean that they are not picky but rather that they go with their gut feeling instead of a shopping list.

[LazerBean]

Because spoiled, entitled children grow into spoiled, entitled adults

[Asker]

That’s true but I don’t use that as a excuse for people either. Grown adults know right from wrong. They can choose to see the errors of their way and be better or double down to become much worse.

But you’re right a lot does come from parents. Either spoiling or on the other extreme neglecting their kids.

[LazerBean]

I definitely agree, it's not an excuse for their behavior.

[Asker]

Absolutely people eventually reach a point where they know right from wrong.

[AMS700CX4u2]

Not well adjusted. For a relationship to thrive both have to stop thinking ME and start thinking WE. Nothing is Mine , it is Ours. We all have our issues. It is the acceptance of our short comings that creates an enjoyable personality. Unfortunately thatis not how our society currently works. And of course there are always those who fall outside 2 Standard Deviations

[GlowUpGirly5]

Ok but why are you so pressed over someone else's standards? It's their life and they're entitled to it.

[Asker]

You’re right they are but they aren’t entitled for someone else either. That’s the point I’m making.

The same people who say “well I’m entitled to my own standards” but they also at the same time feel entitled to someone else. Then become angry when the people they want also have standards.

[Asker]

I’m just saying some people want someone WAY out of their league. Demand a long list of things but yet don’t really have much to offer themselves.

The point is most of the men and women they’re wanting. Also have standards and are looking for someone that they will be happy and fulfilled with. Not a loser who can’t even wipe their own ass

[GlowUpGirly5]

Focus on yourself and someone with same standards as you. You're doing too much talking and that comes across as feminine nagging. Move on

[Tomisworthless]

you shouldn't be concerned about women that you aren't even in the same league as

[Asker]

True lol. But those women also (as well as men) get so angry. When they want someone way out of their league and they end up very disappointed

[Tomisworthless]

Everyone wants out of their league, just many of us are too ugly to play

[Asker]

It’s not even just about ugliness it’s about a lot of other things too. Personality. Entitlement. Things like that

[Tomisworthless]

Im this person

[oldpigg]

The truth is that my standards are not very high, I just want a young woman who studies medicine and who is taller than 161 centimeters.

[LiamJHayden]

For women, things like the Hallmark Channel. For guys, probably porn.

[KrakenAttackin]

Now this is positively a brilliant question. Low value people (who are delusional), seeking high value people is so cringe.

[Staximus]

I stopped looking for Miss Perfect. I'll settle for a woman who is not a drug addict or drunk mess, not fatter than me, not a liar or cheater, doesn't have a face like a bulldog, and is not an ice queen.

[Crazzyyworld]

simple.. because they all are whores

[Asker]

Well…. Yeah

[Anonymous]

Because they're women.

[Asker]

Not all women are like that and plenty of men are like that too. It’s just men who have something to offer go for women who also do. As well as vice versa

[noohair]

Funny and very true... AAA+++

[Jimmerjammermama83]

I dunno but this is so true

[jahaims]

They are delusional