Why do most people have such low standards?

[Anonymous]

Now, I have realized that most people who are married or are in relationships just have someone because they have low standards

When I take a look around most of these husbands and boyfriends, theyre short, have no money to spend on their girlfriends, some are even borderline ugly, single dads. I have seen men marry single moms to 5 kids then claim he wasn't settling. I have a gorgeous friend who has dated unemployed men, drug dealers. Now she is dating a guy who is the pure definition of ugly. And she doesn't think she is settling. I just dont get it. Of course it would always be easy to find a man if you are willing to accept just about anyone.

[exitseven]

I have sometimes wondered about this. I worked at a hospital and it was predominately females working there. I knew a lot of nurses and other healthcare professionals. A lot of them would talk about their husbands with me. they would complain that they could not hold a job or they drink a lot or hung out with their friends too much or spent money on stupid stuff. I met a couple of these guys. They were real losers married to professional people who were for thr most part fairly attractive.

[Asker]

Dont think just cuz a guy can hold a job then it means he's not a loser. Often times the only good thing about him is the fact he has a job

[exitseven]

thanks for the MHO😎

[molonski2]

Well , naturally the beauty is in the eye of the beholder , but most people aim very low because its easy , there is no challenge with other suitors , their self esteem is low , they are lazy , don't want to be challenged.

[Summeroflove]

People are desperate a lot of times to get into a relationship. If the kind of people they want are either in relationships, reject them, not available to them, etc. They will just go with any snake in the dirt that will be with them unfortunately. The worst thing is when someone wastes someone else’s time who believes someone feels genuine attraction when they don’t.

With that all being said it depends on standards some people are happy with one another but people judge their relationship to feel better about themselves. I think people who talk the most about other peoples relationships are inside not happy with themselves.

People who are in happy relationships usually feel happy for others even if they aren’t their cup of tea. So if you’re looking down on people maybe it says more about you and you’re unhappy with your own life. You can’t find the men you want and when you do they eventually dump you.

But again when people pick people who do genuinely suck. It’s a mixture usually of desperation as well as being carried away by emotions without also using logic. So they get into these relationships and end up miserable later on. Especially when people come out of one bad relationship and jump head first into a even worse one.

[Asker]

I do agree with you. It really must be this reason. I have known people who look great on paper, great career or great looks but only seem to want to date garbage.

By the way, pointing out the fact some people have low standards, in no way shape or form, means someone is unhappy with their lives

Just the same way you admitted that some people just do pick those that do suck, would it mean you are also unhappy with your own life?

[Summeroflove]

Asker this is very true some people put a really good front on. Others maybe don’t look so great on paper but they make a amazing partner.

No if someone genuinely is dating trash 9/10 they aren’t much better if they intentionally pick them. But when people just tear apart other peoples relationships when they’re both genuinely happy. Such as someone makes less money or they don’t think someone’s as attractive.

[Summeroflove]

No. It really just depends on what someone’s judging to be honest.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

there are plenty of people with great careers/ decent looks who make great partners. why would you settle for someone you aren't physically attracted to, just to have a decent partner? thats the question.

Realize that looks / having a decent job - being able to pay bills is also a very important part of the equation. Not having these things will lead to PROBLEMS down the road.

[Asker]

it is really a question of "how much would you be willing to give up, just to have someone who treats you well?"

[Summeroflove]

Here is the thing obviously you need to be attracted to someone. If you marry someone over a job title something could happen to them and they either loose their job or can’t work anymore. Also looks is just how much effort someone puts into themselves. Some good looking people who only obsess over how good they look

[Summeroflove]

So people who marry for materialistic and superficial reasons don’t truly love someone. They love what someone can do for them until that’s gone or they find better then discard someone.

I’m not saying someone who refuses to work who can work but doesn’t want to would make a good partner. But everyone is different and what they’re looking for.

Just because you wouldn’t be happy with someone doesn’t mean that someone else can’t be. Just be happy for them and find someone who better fits you.

[Summeroflove]

Asker everyone is different. Making a genuine connection is what matters more then a job title or how good someone looks. I’m not saying someone whose neglected their looks or refuses to work is worth your time.

But people who judge peoples relationships too much of people who are genuinely happy it does tell me someone’s not happy. Because happy people generally don’t bash others.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

Its not called bashing others. Its pointing out the obvious. If you married a loser who can't keep a job, there is nothing wrong with pointing that out. If you married a sociopath, and I wonder why you ever married him, its not called bashing. Its called pointing out the obvious. If you married someone that nobody else wants to look at, other people will notice and they will talk behind your back... No, it doesn't mean they hate their lives... it just means they are just pointing out facts

[Asker]

[ If you marry someone over a job title something could happen to them and they either loose their job or can’t work anymore. ]

what if you married a man who couldn't pay the bills.. so now you have to work 12 hrs a day while you are pregnant just to pay the bills? the baby comes out fucked up and in bad health because you worked too much while you are pregnant. wouldn't you think this would also cause problems within a marriage?

what if you have 3 kids and your husband can't adequately provide. so now you have to work 9-10 hours a day, only to run home to continue doing 6-7 hours' worth of housework and child care?

would you think this would also cause a lot of problems?

[Summeroflove]

Many people marry for financial reasons. Something happens and they divorce. Or they find someone who makes more money.

Maybe get off your lazy ass and stop needing a mann

[Asker]

@summeroflove

do you realize the reason why 70% of divorces are initiated by women?

because men are no longer providers.

women are now , working 8-12 hours a day, then come home to work another 6-7 hours of housework and child care... Housework and childcare is still primarily a woman's duty.

There was a study that proved that married mothers did more housework than single mothers.

what does this tell you?

women are divorcing men because men are not contributing. Thus the term "married single mom"

[Summeroflove]

Well sometkmes things happen out of someone’s control. People marry for materialistic reasons and marriages fail. Regardless of how much a man’s bringing in. There are women who leave men simply because they find someone who makes more money

[Summeroflove]

I’m sorry you ask questions and you don’t get the answer you want to hear. If you know the answer then don’t ask.

[Summeroflove]

Most divorces men are working. Many men are working 40 to 70 hours a week and it just doesn’t pay the bills. That’s not the man’s fault.

Sure there is men who play video games and refuse to lift a finger. That’s the exception.

[Summeroflove]

If people don’t marry because they genuinely love one another. It will fail. Especially women who want the man to do everything. Work hard. Come home help around the house. Do all the mental and emotional labor in a relationship untik he’s completely burnt out. Getting little to none in return.

Many women want the life of being a stay at home mom or a trad wife. Until they obtain it and it’s not as glamorous as they once throught. They could lounge around the house and do nothing. But there’s screaming babies. Messes to clean. Laundry and dishes are piling up. The lawn needs mowed and she’s constantly lonely because the husbands always working. So they complain and complain about their lives.

[Summeroflove]

That’s certainly not all women who live that life. But the ones who want a easy ride. A real relationship is a two way street for it to work both people have to contribute something to the other.

Just plopping babies any woman with a working vagayjay can do that. Like I said it’s narcissistic women like you may be who want men doing everything while offering little to none in return.

I understand why men many times become burnt out. The same as women in hellhole narcissistic relationships as well

[Asker]

@summeroflove

I WILL REPEAT THIS AGAIN FOR YOU

what if you married a man who couldn't pay the bills.. so now you have to work 12 hrs a day while you are pregnant just to pay the bills? the baby comes out fucked up and in bad health because you worked too much while you are pregnant. wouldn't you think this would also cause problems within a marriage?

what if you have 3 kids and your husband can't adequately provide. so now you have to work 9-10 hours a day, only to run home to continue doing 6-7 hours' worth of housework and child care?

would you think this would also cause a lot of problems?

[Asker]

@summeroflove

do you realize the reason why 70% of divorces are initiated by women?

because men are no longer providers.

women are now , working 8-12 hours a day, then come home to work another 6-7 hours of housework and child care... Housework and childcare is still primarily a woman's duty.

There was a study that proved that married mothers did more housework than single mothers.

what does this tell you?

women are divorcing men because men are not contributing. Thus the term "married single mom"

[Asker]

@summeroflove

MARRYING FOR LOVE IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO NOT BE AN INADEQUATE PROVIDER FOR YOUR FAMILY

IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO FORCE YOUR PREGNANT WIFE TO WORK 12 HOUR SHIFTS.

IT IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO FORCE YOUR WIFE TO WORK 8-12 HOURS A DAY THEN COME HOME TO CONTINUE DOING 90% OF THE HOUEWORK AND CHILD CARE.

IF SHE IS DOING ALL THE WORK POPPING OUT THE KIDS, YOU SHOULD AT LEAST BE ABLE TO PROVIDE AND TAKE CARE OF YOUR FAMILY.

A WOMAN DOES NOT NEED TO BE GIVING BIRTH, DOING 90% OF THE CHILD CARE/HOUSEWORK THEN ALSO HAVE TO WORK A FULL TIME JOB.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

[Asker]

YOU FORCE YOUR HEAVILY PREGNANT WIFE TO WORK 12 HOURS A DAY THEN EXPECT HER TO COME HOME AND SMILE AT YOU? AND TELL HER SHE SHOULD BE HAPPY BECAUSE SHE MARRIED FOR LOVE?

GO FUCK YOURSELF

[Summeroflove]

Fuck off and stop flooding me. You’re trying to fish again for the answer you want to hear. It’s not happening

[Summeroflove]

You want a one sided relationship

[Summeroflove]

No. A man shouldn’t make a woman do most the childcare if they’re both working. But if a woman’s staying home not working but expects the man to come home after a 40-70 hour workweek. That’s bullshit.

[Asker]

@summeroflove

Child care and housework is still primarily a woman's duty.
Men don't do their fair share of housework.
Most men do not work 40-70 hours a week.
Most men don't do 50% of the housework despite their wives working a full time job. Their wives do most of the housework

there was actually a study done that proved that MARRIED MOTHERS DID MORE HOUSEWORK THAN SINGLE MOTHERS

[Asker]

Single Moms: Less Housework, More Leisure Than Married Moms

www.psychologytoday.com/.../single-moms-less-housework-more-leisure-than-married-moms

[Summeroflove]

Well there is lazy men and lazy women. There are men who smoke pot and play video games while the wife works ro pay the bills and cleans house.

[Summeroflove]

But you can keep fishing for what you want to hear. It’s NOT HAPPENING

[PeachyPie93]

It just sounds like your jealous lol Anyways most people will marry someone depending on how well they treat them. It isn't that they are settling they just choose who makes them happy without being shallow and writing people off. Other times if they are actually choosing shitty people like someone who beats them, that usually has to do with their childhood and how they were raised.

[Asker]

jealous of someone dating a short, ugly , broke dudes?

you're delusional.

don't act like people don't notice when you're dating someone very unattractive or broke

[PeachyPie93]

Nah but you are complaining about people in relationships (that have nothing to do with you)
Yet you are single.. who cares if someone is with someone uglier, fatter, whatever. It's not you dating them, so why does it bother you?

[Asker]

@peachypie93

I'm not complaining. I'm just pointing out an observation. why are you so offended when I just speak the truth?

Of course I am single. Its always easy to get into a relationship when you're willing to accept just about anyone: short, ugly, broke, bad character, sociopaths.

[Asker]

The older I get, the more that I realize that most people are in relationships simply because their standards are low.

[Anonymous]

Wonder why you went anon on this. I'd be embarrassed being you as well.

[Asker]

I'm so sorry you are so offended. Maybe if you were prettier you wouldn't be so mad

[Opinion Owner]

Oh how cute.

You projecting here. Adorable. You simply so pretty and adorable that you're unwanted by everyone.

Have a good one little troll. You're beneath me. Project to someone who cares. (Wait you probably don't have anyone who cares) 🤥

[Asker]

@OPINION OWNER

Do you realize the fact that you hate this question, already tells me a lot about your dating life?

[Anonymous]

Yet you are not married and have no kids lol. Why? Because no one wants to lower their standards to be with you.

[Asker]

I'm not married and have no kids cuz I won't settle for someone subpar like they do.

many people are married just because they are willing to marry just about anyone

[Opinion Owner]

@asker you're not married and have no kids because NO ONE WANTS TO SETTLE FOR YOU. SETTLING FOR YOU MEANS LOWERING THEIR STANDARDS. Look in the mirror hun you're not what anyone desires

[Asker]

@opinion owner

the fact that you are so angry and offended shows that likely nobody wanted to settle for you. haha

[Opinion Owner]

@asked the fact you are projecting shows no one is willing to lower their standards to be with you.

[Asker]

@opinion owner

so why are you so angry at me then? if you aren't ugly and fat?
did I offend you?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you need to look in the mirror before you go calling other people ugly.

[Asker]

oh ok, according to you, there can't be any ugly people on earth

[Ironic_Method]

There's so much to unpack here lol

[Anonymous]

We are living in a world of no morals.

[Fury_storm]

probably evolution