Is it really that bad to have high standards?

Question

Here are my standards for a boyfriend:
-Must be between 5’9 and 6’2
-Must be very attractive facially (even facial symmetry)
-Must be smart
-Must have his own goals
-Must be around my age (I’m 19 so 19-25 works best for me)
-Must be respective of other’s cultures
-Must have nice white teeth that are well placed
-Preferibly, but doesn’t have to be, someone outside my race
-Must have common decency and manners
-Must be fit (preferably a guy who likes to workout)

in exchange for that, I work to improve myself every day. Is it bad to have high standards?

A-man-22 · Accepted Answer

Standard aren't bad but having too many can limit your possible dating pool.

It's important to stay open but keep some standards as having no standards is easy for someone to abuse.

What I'd say:
drop the height standard or at least widen it.

Drop the 'fit' standard, sure don't date a guy who is unhealthy but average can be good too.

Don't be scared to date someone of your own race.

Standards like Smart, has goals, age, manners and respect are good to have. They are protection standards to make sure you aren't easily manipulated.

Luke4991 · Accepted Answer

Not at all. It's good that woman knows what exactly does she want.

Justacatlady · Accepted Answer

I’m not going to vote because finding a guy that fits all those “standards” is going to be hard. Not saying you can’t but if you have high standards for who your going to date, you should have them for yourself. Can’t demand that someone be all that then say your going to work on improving yourself. You should already be there if your going to be so picky

Anet1256 · Accepted Answer

You will eventually lower them if you will be attracted to a guy a lot. If he would tick all the boxes but he would be 6'5 I think you would let that one slip. Thes are just preferences for the "ideal guy". When you meet someone who you really like you will not care if he has one crocked tooth. At least I would not.

witherwing · Accepted Answer

If you realize that other people have high standards too, and you likely don't fit them very often, I think it's fine to have high standards yourself too.

MrOracle · Answer

It's okay - however only a tiny number of men will meet these standards, and of that tiny group, how many will feel that you meet THEIR standards?

What I'm saying is that the higher standards you have, especially for physical things, the higher the chance that you'll simply not have a relationship at all. You're looking for near-perfection, and in the real world, that's very, very rare - so you'll likely either have to make some compromises, or spend your days being single.

MrNameless · Answer

I think its okay to have standards like your own things you are attracted to. But don't make a shopping list and expect mr right to be perfect and have all those things (especially when you don't either) or you'll end up being super picky and miss out on a lot of things because a guy doesn't have one or two of those things.. Maybe he could be a great guy but you're hung up being the same height or taller with heels.

ImpressiveUsername · Answer

Is it bad? Not necessarily. That the focus of the majority of these requirements are based on physical features, to include ones that people literally can not change, makes you seem conceited.

I wouldn't touch you with a 10 foot pole, you sound toxic.

Philyouup · Answer

No high standards? Ridiculous standards. What is the difference between 5’8” and 5’9” ? He could be the best man you could ever have and you loose him over a very shallow inch. Lol. Nothing wrong with standards. But yours look like away to avoid men. Not find them. Nice excuse “ just can’t find a guy within my standards “. Yeah it’s more about hiding from them than finding them. Right @RoyClark?

chrisbigman · Answer

I don't think so, as long as they (standards) are not unreasonably/unrealistically high. Keep in mind that having high standards (even if they are reasonable/realistic) may very well (VERY likely) limit your choices of men. Your standards are reasonable.

Aizou · Answer

Standards should be high, since we're going to spend our life with that person. In return, we should also strive to meet their standards. However, it's also important to note, that 'perfection' is different from person to person.

dantetheexplorer · Answer

Not at all. As long as you judge yourself on those high standards and you yourself bring something to the table.

JulieXO · Answer

Standards are fine, but most of yours seem quite shallow (physical).

Oram52 · Answer

As long as you can provide equal standards in return there is absolutely nothing wrong with having high standards. There is a difference between high and unrealistic standards.

Isten · Answer

I see you've adjusted your last line from improving your looks to improving yourself. 😂

tartaarsaus · Answer

This is pretty much a copied post from a couple days ago by an xper 1 GUY asking the exact same thing, but girlfriend switched out for boyfriend.

Riddler1412 · Answer

It's not, but you'll have less chance of finding a guy.  Would you date a guy that fits 7/10 of those standards but close to fitting the other 3 as well?

MemeMaester · Answer

generic female standards, usually those girls are the least deserving of men like these I've found

Giggletr0n · Answer

@tartaarsaus Beat me to it! It's most likely the same person with both colour accounts aka attention whore

madhatters4 · Answer

high standards are fine as long a they are reasonable

Liam_Hayden · Answer

Standards are fine. The only issue I notice is people having standards that are unrealistic and then they complain that they can't find anyone who meets those standards.

FakeName123 · Answer

Depends. Can you handle similar high standards towards yourself?

RoyClark · Answer

Give it a shot. Hopefully you'll meet the requirements of his list.

sonnysunshine · Answer

Your standards aren’t that bad. I’ve seen other women have checklists longed than my nieces Christmas wishlist

Sweatyotterr · Answer

You might be single for a long time maybe forever which is fine

Straight_Shooter · Answer

It's fine to have high standards, but realize it works both ways. You may not meet the standards some men have for themselves.

gym4ever · Answer

is this me? jk. Depends how lucky you are. Maybe you will find 10 guys like this, maybe no one.

WhoDatGuy · Answer

You think your ideal guy will fall into this criteria. He won't.

niallycam · Answer

Most of the time the girls who want all those things from a guy normally look like a bag of potatoes

Dark93 · Answer

Those are pretty reasonable standards. But if a guy had all that and was 6'4" you'd pass on him?

Eryxx · Answer

If you are good enough, then no.

CT_CD · Answer

Most women have high standards

dev765 · Answer

I don't think these standards are too high.

AlbanianWoman · Answer

No  It's not

Is it really that bad to have high standards?

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