For those who don’t know, Incel is short for “involuntary celibate” which means some one (typically a male) who didn’t choose to be single or not married but are so because of unfortunate circumstances. These groups of lonely men can be found on sites such as r/incel and incel. me. Although they’ve had a reputation of misogyny and supporting violence and harassment against women, I’ve grew to sympathize with them. They are just men who believe that they were born with “poor genetics” and their unattractiveness is the reason why they can’t get any woman therefore, they spend their time expressing their frustration and bitterness towards women on their online forums. I don’t support their views of promoting violence against women but I just think it sucks to know that you’ll be single just because you were born to be unattractive. I also agree with them that women’s standards today are too high. They want a man that has big biceps, a six pack, having a net worth of 100k a year, and good facial features with a strong jawline. This ideal man is what they call a “Chad” and even women who range around the 6 or below rating on the attraction scale think they are entitled to have this Chad. I just find it unfair what these men have to deal with so is it really wrong of me to feel sorry for them?
Most Helpful Girl
I think many of them are genuinely confused and lost, and often truly mentally ill – however, that doesn't excuse the incredibly toxic, hateful and bigoted attitudes prevalent in incel spaces. Incel culture isn't the solution. It just misleads them and feeds them incredibly wrong-headed notions about women and what they truly look for in a man.
It's disheartening that these guys don’t even bother trying to improve their situation and instead blame others. I have sympathy for those who genuinely try to do better with women and relationships but fail. However, once they start shooting up schools and running over pedestrians in the name of some "beta uprising” (I can’t believe this is a thing, but it is), all bets are off.
And it gives them a victim mentality that they then project on their archenemies, along with many other nasty attitudes. They just decide to go down a road of self-loathing, which means that they face an important choice: they can decide to spend the rest of their lives feeling sorry for and hating themselves, or they can just get on with things and strive for greater things in life. Many incels use their lack of success with sex/relationships as an excuse to give up on themselves, their careers, and their overall success in life in general.
Like, do you want to spend the rest of your life hating yourself for something that, although important, is relatively trivial in the greater scheme of things? Are you going to use this as an excuse to completely give up on your development as a person? The choice is yours.5THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Guy
It's not wrong to feel bad for them, it shows empathy, but you shouldn't agree with their beliefs that you have to be superman to get a girl, that you're entitled to love, or that women are bitches because they're not attracted to you.
You don't like team sports or you're not good at them? Doesn't matter, there is a wide range of exercise you can do - almost everyone can walk/hike, you can lift weights in your own home. Get out of the house and do something in the community, find out about local social groups, whatever they do, and pick ones because they interest you, not because you think you'll meet girls.
Get a job, and work hard at it. Get your hair cut regularly. Shower and shave (or trim) frequently. Learn stuff, read books and magazines, read around subjects that interest you.
Rejection is normal. It's never nice, but it happens. Just accept that it happens, and don't hang on in relationships that aren't working, it's OK to reject other people, too.
Oh, and finally, it's not a numbers game; if women see you asking out every woman you meet, they'll know they're nothing special to you.2THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE