Male friend bought me flowers, I'm uncomfortable, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My guy friend sent me flowers in the post and wrote a card saying he was trying a romantic gesture. He asked me out in March and I said no, he has been dating my friend for the last month casually and they stopped earlier this week and now I've received these flowers. How do I tell him no, get him to listen and still keep him as a friend? We hang out so much and get along so well. I'm so uncomfortable that he sent these. Any advice on how to handle this would be great, I do not want to hurt or lose this friend, he is so amazing but I cannot make the romantic leap.

[Summeroflove]

Well it can be difficult just be direct with him that you do genuinely like as well as care for him as a friend they you’re sorry that it didn’t work out between him and your friend. But that you don’t have any romantic feelings and romantic gestures like that make you uncomfortable. Thank him for the flowers but tell him that you respect him enough to not waste his time. That if you ever change your mind you will reach out to him. But he needs to move on and find someone whose a better fit for him.

But if he keeps pestering you then you need to set boundaries unfortunately that sometimes means telling someone they aren’t welcome contacting you anymore. I hope it doesn’t reach that point. But just be honest tell him how you feel but be kind about it.

[ohsheeT]

You have to be honest with them and say hey this is the way it usually works let's just pretend that we got together do you honestly think it would work

And then you would have to say I don't think so and I know in my heart that I'm right and so if we did that and then we broke up then we wouldn't be friends anymore and so I weigh both things relationship or friendship friendship will last forever relationship not very long and we wouldn't be friends anymore and down deep he knows the same thing

[ohsheeT]

And you would like to keep your other friend that he just broke up with as a friend too

[jazzy34]

Yikes, sorry about that. Sounds like you need to put firmer boundaries in place with him. Meaning, if he doesn’t understand that you’re not interested in him in that way, he can’t be in your life at all. I know that’s harsh, but sometimes you have to take drastic measures to show people you’re serious. Either way, I wish you the best in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Guys don't generally do this on thier own. Typically the woman does something to instigate this.

Don't tell me you didn't. I really don't care. You asked a question, I'm answering it.

All you can do at this point is freeze him out. He'll either stop or he won't. As far as him remaining your friend. You don't get a say in that anymore. As I said typically a woman does something to instigate this. And if that is his determination then you probably don't get to keep him as a friend.

[Staximus]

He is so amazing but not amazing enough, a? Tell him you're not interested.

[Pterodon]

Be direct but you might not be able to keep him as a friend