My boyfriend bought me an expensive present that I don't like. What do I do?

[sciencegirl]

For my birthday, my boyfriend bought me this gift certificate to a spa. He sent it in an email so he hasn't seen my reaction yet. Now we are both on tight budgets, and I told him before not to spend much money on me (like 20 dollars max). I even suggested he get me headphones that I can run in. Well he spent $150 on this, but the worst part is, I'm not even the type of girl to go to a spa. We've been dating for a year now so he should know this. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I felt like crying when I saw it because it's like he doesn't know me at all. Maybe I'm just overreacting and I should just be grateful that he wanted to spend that much money on me, but it's a lot of money going to something I will never use. What do I even say to him? I don't think I can accept this, but I don't know if it is returnable either.

Updates

+1 y

Well I talked to him about, and he said he would try and return it. I feel pretty guilty (I mean who rejects a nice present like that), but he's been very understanding about the whole thing.


I imagine he's going to have a fun conversation when he calls the spa: "Yes, I would like to return the giftcard I got my girlfriend for her birthday. You see, she has the fear of going to spas and doing 'girly' things that I wasn't aware of. Yeah, she's weird like that, but hey, that's why I love her."

[YourBoss]

Use it. What's there to lose?

I seriously don't understand women sometimes.. When he doesn't get you a present, you say that he forgot and that he's an a**hole for that. When he gets you a cheap one, you call him stingy. When he buys a nice (girly) present, which is used so you could relax, you feel like crying?

Honestly, if you want to tell him about it, just say that it was "too much" or something. It's not like he can convert the gift certificate back to cash.

[sciencegirl]

Did you even read my question? I said I wanted a cheap present, not a fancy one. We are both living on very tight budgets, and he really should not have gotten me something like that. I told him before (several times) that I don't want anything fancy for my birthday. I don't know why he would want to get me a "girly" present when I'm such a tomboy. I would NOT be angry if he didn't get me anything considering the money issue so long as he remembered to wish me happy birthday.

[YourBoss]

Maybe he felt the need to bring you a nice present this time? Maybe he wanted to bring you something girlie instead and you might actually like it.

Boys want a thank you for any gift they get. Say "You shouldn't have because it's too much but thank you." Or something. All I'm saying is that there's no turning back just tell him that next time you'd be satisfied with something less.

[sciencegirl]

I think he was glad that I did tell him that I didn't like it rather than lying and making him think I did. He can't read my mind so it's important we talk about things like this otherwise we'll just get frustrated down the road. I trusted him not to get too upset about my being honest, and he didn't. It also means that when he does get me a great gift later, he will know my excitement is genuine.

[YourBoss]

That's great, I'm happy for you. :)

[iwish46]

You could tell him that you aren't really a spa type of girl. Depending on the kind of guy he is, he might get offended or he will understand. Or you could just use it. Who knows? Maybe you will end up liking it?

Random question for you. How would you feel if you received running shoes as a gift?

[sciencegirl]

Running shoes? Considering how much he hates shopping and that he would actually have to go through the trouble of figuring out my shoe size, it would be a great gift. I still wouldn't want him to spend a lot of money on them, but if he pulled a line like "Since we both like running, I was thinking we could break these in at the park..." I might still chew him out for spending too much, but it would be hard to turn it down when he put so much work into getting something we could enjoy together.

[iwish46]

@update I'm happy he took it so well. He seems like a decent guy :)

Thanks for answering my question. I've always wanted to ask someone it and you seemed liked a good candidate.

[iwish46]

Thanks for Best Answer sciencegirl!

[damondino]

If you don't like it, tell him nicely over dinner or something. Don't make too bigger deal of it though. He should understand

[Anonymous]

You ask him if you exchange it, be honest.