AITA? For calling my boyfriend a bum?

[Anonymous]

Basically AITA? boyfriend who doesn't work or contribute anything to the household constantly accuse me of cheating and now let's his "street mom" move in with us and meanwhile I am the only one with income paying for everything. Since she's been here we barely spend time together, have not slept together in about a month And the one time we did I realized she wasn't here so not sure if that's a reason why but sick of feeling down and sad all the time and feeling like I have to narrate my life Everytime I come home. Basically I took 35 mins to go to the gas station and get milk in the rain on a scooter, when almost back home ran into a neighbor needing help pushing her cart inside and help putting a bike on it. I felt like he was accusing me cause the looks he gave me while saying what took you so long your daughter went farther than that and back in 20 mins. Well hers was a joy ride to ride the scooter there and back. Mine, had to wait in line and then 3 people ahead of me and the gas station doesn't let you in after dark and so waiting for this cashier to go through the store grabbing what people want And then helping the neighbor so I basically walked back pushing the cart and he really times me and makes comments that make me feel the need to explain myself. I was explaining how many people were in line then it hits me, I'm like this dudes a fucking bum, pays for nothing, can't even hustle up a few handfuls of free toilet paper from a public bathroom if he had to, to the point that I feel like I'm his damn mommy so I explode and say, Your lucky to even have a girlfriend because your a fucking bum and you bring nothing to the table to help anyone and especially not even yourself so why do I owe an explanation to u then "street mom" feeds into his insecurities saying she thinks I'm cheating too. Like who what when and where cause he literally has all my passwords and yet he's the one locking his phone !

[ohsheeT]

Hey. Do yourself a big favor you're paying for anything and everything already so you can afford to be on your own walk away.

There is no reason in this world that you have to go through what you're going through walk away

The guy does not love you he does not even like you otherwise he would be taken care of you walk away

You need to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself is this what you signed up for I don't think so you need to start loving yourself a lot more otherwise you're going to be down in a hole just like him and nobody's going to take care of nobody then you need to walk away while you still can let him pay for that apartment whatever it is let him deal with it that him and her deal with it walk away love yourself more than what you're doing right now there's no reason for you to give up any passwords to anything there's no reason for you to have to do everything

The only time that you do that is when you're on your own so you're on your own walk away quit being miserable start being happy

If the guy really loves you after you walk away he'll go out and get a job and he'll prove himself to you but he's not going to do that you know that he's not going to do a f****** thing why because you're doing it for him walk away

[Zack-Bann]

You’re already a single parent it seems
Might as well make it official
You’re stuck in a situation that’s far more toxic than you think just because you’re used to it it doesn’t sting anymore.


You need leave or evict him as soon as possible


No court will ever give him custody of your kid when he can’t wipe his own ass without a map (assuming your description of him is completely accurate since I don’t actually know him)


You and your kid deserve better.


You have no idea how many good hard working men who are also good looking live a life of solitude because they never found someone


And you’re out here giving this ungrateful cunt everything these men dream of only for him to accuse you of cheating.


You definitely can do much better than him

[silvermoon84]

No but my question is why is he still your boyfriend when he should be your ex-boyfriend. Also if you keep him around and keep supporting his ass, you’re basically enabling him. Dump his ass!

[LazerBean]

No, but you're a dumbass for being with him to begin with

[AviatorTom]

I don't have time to read all that text, but it isn't necessary.

Yes, you are the a*ole for calling your boyfriend a bum Doesn't matter what he did or didn't do. Calling him a bum is completely unacceptable.

How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and he called you a lazy bitch?

[Asker]

oh so mooching and not supporting his kid or other kids and not working or contributing is ok? So he's not a bum? haha and if he called me a lazy bitch, I'd look around wondering where cause I'm the only one with income

[Zack-Bann]

Nah man. Take two seconds to read the paragraph, you’ll change your tune

[silvermoon84]

I read the whole thing. He was mooching off of her.

[Summeroflove]

It sounds like you need to leave him. Before things get worse and people who accuse someone of cheating the most are most the time the ones doing it

[Lliam]

You know the answer to the question and you know what you have to do about it.
Kick is worthless ass and his ghetto mom to the curb. Stop wasting money, energy and life. Move on.

It sounds like you have done a lot of growing up over the past 5 years. You are responsible, hard working, motivated and smart. This guy is not only holding you back, but he's monitoring you and accusing you of stuff. He's trying to hold you back because he wants to keep you at his level.

[Anonymous]

go to family counseling if you love this man

[Asker]

it's difficult because yes I love him, but I don't love who he is anymore. I don't see him ever maturing or wanting a desirable life like I do. I'd like an adult looking bedroom that looks classy, but he wants ghetto "trippy" colorful psychedelic type stuff and lights everywhere. Like that's cool and all but not for everyday life raising kids.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s why you go to counseling and try to fix it. Then you can rekindle it. But he has to work he has to get off his ass.

[Asker]

Ok you seem level headed so one more question? What to do if he lied to his PO saying he doesn't work and can't cause I work and need him to watch the baby... I pay for daycare, I require nothing of him and even take the trash out after failed attempts asking for help with it I eventually do it alone. So like, would letting his PO know he is fully capable of working that we have daycare set up to both be able to work, be an asshole move of me?

Cause I'm to the point if he don't wanna build with me (30 never had a job at all cause he says his background is bad.) But now excuses of why he can't work... I have no issues finding work cause I didn't do stupid crimes. His PO put him down as stay at home dad. When he's not he don't watch our baby and if he does I feel I have to document every step I take or update him or keep him on the phone cause he's insecure. I want our baby to have both parents but it's becoming draining to feel this way.

[Asker]

Can counseling really resolve this cause I vented to his sister after years of keeping it inside and she said he's never changed and always lies to the family pretending to have it together but he never has.

[Opinion Owner]

He has to work you can’t go to the rest of your life without working

[Anonymous]

Why are you with this loser?

[Asker]

Cause 5 years ago I was like damn he's hot. But now, doesn't have any desire to get a job and he's 30 and never worked a job before either

[Asker]

also, my kid, but I'm honestly trying to find the strength to leave because he doesn't do anything for us and I just feel bad I stay for the baby. Yet I know I don't think he'll ever grow up and stop dressing immature and doing immature shit. Having a baby looking up to us has made me realize how stupid I was for thinking I had a future with him cause the way he is with the immature pics taped all over the walls and ghetto "trippy" stuff just is like behind me now that we had a baby and I don't know if he will match my vision of future now. Ghetto ass white boy. fml.

[slatyb]

Why are you with them? Evict them.