Is it true to get over someone you have to get underneath someone else?

Question

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

Just because a saying is catchy and has opposing words/phrases in it doesn't make it valid, good, or true... That's a terrible piece of advice.

To counter that advice:

From experience, the only way to get over someone is to learn that we can have a good or better life without them in it, and that it's good and OK to do that. That's hard to do when we love someone. It feels like a betrayal. Part of our misery is loyalty to both our past self and to the person we cared about. We want our past selves to be right about people. We want our past selves to have made good choices, or at least not horrible ones. So we continue in the same cycles, trying to prove that what has never worked will work this time.

But a better life doesn't mean going and doing the same thing again. It means taking stock of our life so far, and doing some soul-searching with ourselves. It's evaluating what makes us truly happy and excited to wake up in the morning. Very few people take the time to ask what their purpose is because finding purpose means dealing with a lot of crap. But we can either continue being emotional hoarders, or we can admit we have a problem and get some help so that we don't have to live this way anymore.

So it's up to you. Repeat the cycle, or choose to build supports into your life that flag you when you start to go back to your old patterns.

LadyBecks · Accepted Answer

The best way to get over someone is time. Be kind to yourself, pamper yourself when you can, spend time with friends - that's my advice for whatever it's worth. 😊

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Well I say no but there's nothing wrong with if both make it worth wild and if your ready to do it with out feeling you did something wrong. Or look at it as it's done it's over and it's time for me to except it and move on

bowenw · Accepted Answer

That is basically it, although it's more about developing feelings that the physical stuff in my experience.

AviatorTom · Answer

Not necessarily... you could get on top. 🙊🙉🙈

Finchie40 · Answer

No , only selfish people do that

Hawkeye249 · Answer

You are probably young. 'Course most are young to me. (76)

Only so much time to live your life.

Right after a breakup, most won't feel like themselves. And there is pain regardless of which one initiated the break. It is human nature to want to feel attractive to the opposite sex. Don't compound pain with fakeness. If you meet someone you like, be honest: Just out of a relationship, not ready for the next one, but eager to enjoy life.

If that results in intimacy, embrace it with safety. But don't commit if it's not the truth. And be wary of those who would take advantage of your pain.

Tarifa · Answer

I don't think it's necessarily that way. Every relationship that ends (either when you end it or they break up with you) is a door that closes. It will probably remain closed forever.

That will allow you to open new doors and start exploring. It's just the beginning of other things that will develop over time. Time is the key factor here.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Pretty sure it doesn’t work.
Didn’t work for me.
And didn’t work for the few women who slept with me only to tell me afterwards that they wanted to get over a breakup

For better or worse only time can heal these wounds

And it’s important not to spend that time in denial but instead feel your feelings

andreasderjuengere · Answer

From a male view ( heh heh) , I find the visual perspective to be an interesting one.

Anyhow - I hesitate to ''under'' myself simply because of one thing has ended.

After all... there is a chance for something else.

Soon, or not so soon.

exitseven · Answer

No, it is just deflecting. "Our friends are tryin' to turn my nights to day Strange faces in your place Can't keep the ghosts away Now just beyond the darkest hour And just behind the dawn It still feels so strange to lead my life alone"

Anonymous · Answer

No, that's just people's impulse control disorder convincing them that it's excusable to act like a creepy pervert. Or those that hates being in a relationship because being faithful was such a miserable experience for them, and they knew it wouldn't last long anyway.

JennaFox · Answer

This only works to block unresolved feelings for a little time. Rebounds are just your fear to face the pain of a breakup and then, pushing it deep down to avoid it. However, ignoring something won't make it go away and it all tends to come to surface when you least expect.
My advice after a breakup is taking some time alone and don't run away of the pain. Only then, you'll be free of the past and ready to the love you really deserve.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

I have the feeling once these platitudes have found their place in society they are almost impossible to get rid off again?

Cormac995 · Answer

Speaking from experience this is terrible advice. This line of thinking is how I lost my V card and now I don't try to date anymore and I'm choosing to be celibate.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I wouldn't attempt to do that in the middle of the grieving process, it would be terrible for everyone involved

RHK36 · Answer

No, but it can be a cheat code. Cheat codes don't always work because sometimes the person is just bad. Meaning if you are the reason for a failed relationship then no amount of rebound sex will help you.

jeremy_09 · Answer

It is nice when the sex keeps going with someone else, plus it's someone new which is exciting. Then I can deal with other hurt feelings from the person I'm trying to get over on my own.

LonelyHsoul · Answer

No, that's just called a rebound, basically a distraction which is OK but not away of getting over someone, that just takes time

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I'm sure it works for some people, but I haven't seen it work out well for anyone in my own life.

slatyb · Answer

Either under or on top will work. Also finding out that they behaved badly.

HungTexan · Answer

I don’t know, but I’m sure it helps to have a new sexual partner.

Pohjolan · Answer

Women do more branching than guys do often finding a next partner before leaving their previous one so I suppose some people have to but its not a universal truth.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

No, that's a very stupid thing to do. And I'd rather have them underneath anyway ;)

Date_a_Snob · Answer

Very true. I met my now husband after a bad break up.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Never heard that but sounds like a great distraction until you figure it out!! 😂

Massageman · Answer

Not necessarily. Time is the greater healer.

Anonymous · Answer

I have no idea, but it doesn't work for me. I wanted to get over some girl, but the other girl didn't want me either, so I couldn't just get underneath her.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Hopefully not I don’t want to have sex with someone who’s not worth it

UrsulaY · Answer

You won't heal inside a bottle or find it in anyone else. Healing is solitary. Like birth and death.

Circushowcowboy · Answer

I haven’t heard this but you may be onto something, lol.

Anonymous · Answer

No. It does help, but only for a little while. And there are other ways to get over someone.

Anonymous · Answer

It seems women who think that way typically end up regretting it and hating themselves inside for it.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. But depending on how your feeling is can help temporarily. But all you're doing is band-aiding the situation.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

LOL. My wife doesn't need to get over anyone in order to hop in bed with other guys. I'm okay with it so long as she doesn't get pregnant.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Absofuckinglutely!

NathanDavis · Answer

might be true for some... but not for all

jazzy34 · Answer

Nah. Too re-boundish for me.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Lol I'll use that line lol 😂 probably

Desconhecida · Answer

No, this is a myth.

SleepingHazard · Answer

That never worked, in my experience.

jahaims · Answer

That is a terrible way to cope with a breakup

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope that ain't true!

orange_roach · Answer

Have to? No Want to? That’s your choice

msc545 · Answer

It kind of is true. It certainly works.

dragoblack · Answer

No, that's just a temporary crutch.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

Yes. Now get to it.

Aphrodite2001 · Answer

Sometimes also best revenge.

Lynx122 · Answer

No :)

DaBiggestBird · Answer

WRONG

Jennz6 · Answer

Yes for sure

JonesT10Apr · Answer

I don't think so

Anonymous · Answer

No..

Is it true to get over someone you have to get underneath someone else?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it true to get over someone you have to get underneath someone else?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.