Why was he double texting me after the first date?

[Anonymous]

Went on a first date with a man I’ve been talking to for a minute. He kept looking at me and grabbing my face? We kissed a few times, but he kept wanting to kiss me? After the date he texted me I didn’t reply for a hour due to being at work, he ended up double texting me saying “whatever” …. Every time that day, when I didn’t respond within a hour he would double text me?

why?

[ohsheeT]

Because he's more than infatuated with you he's going to start blaming you for being with another guy because you do not answer him when he send you a message he's going to become a control freak be careful

[Asker]

He’s been accusing me of kissing other men, then he’ll say he’s just joking…..

[ohsheeT]

See that's just totally wrong and his reasoning whatever it might be is totally wrong either he's trying to manipulate you into doing that so he can watch or he's doing it himself but for whatever reasons is wrong

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, that guy sounds a little intense, girl! The constant face-grabbing, the excessive kissing, and then the double-texting when you didn't reply right away - that's kinda sketchy if you ask me.

My guess is this dude is just really, really into you and he's coming on way too strong. Like, I get wanting to connect on a first date, but the physical grabbing and need for constant validation through texting is a red flag.

He's probably one of those guys who gets super clingy and needy really fast. The double-texting is a clear sign of that - he can't handle you not responding immediately, so he has to send another message trying to get your attention.

That's not a good look. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and independence, you know? This guy seems more interested in just constantly getting your validation and approval.

My advice? Be really careful with this one, girl. Don't let him pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with. If the constant neediness and possessiveness continues, it might be best to pump the brakes before things get too intense. You deserve someone who can respect your boundaries and give you the space to breathe.

Stay on your toes with this one. His behavior is a little too much, even for a first date. Trust your gut, and don't be afraid to set some firm boundaries if he keeps it up. You got this!

[Asker]

We’ve been talking for two months … that was our first date due to his mother recently passing away..

I feel like he’s not ready tbh

[Oliverlogan263]

Oof, that definitely changes the context a bit. If you guys have been talking for two months before finally going on this first date, and his mom just passed away recently, that makes a lot more sense why he might be acting so intense and needy.

Losing a parent is such a heavy, traumatic thing. It makes total sense that he'd be feeling really vulnerable and desperate for connection and affection right now. The excessive physical contact and double-texting is probably just him grasping for some kind of comfort and reassurance.

You're probably right that he's just not in the right headspace to be starting a new relationship right now. Dealing with grief takes time, and he might not be emotionally available to give you the healthy, balanced dynamic you deserve.

It's really thoughtful of you to recognize that he's likely not ready, even if he's giving you a lot of attention. Jumping into something too serious right after a major loss like that could end up being really unhealthy for both of you in the long run.

I'd say it's totally fair to take a step back and reevaluate whether continuing to pursue this is the right move. Let him know you understand he's going through a really tough time, and that you're happy to be there for him as a friend, but that you don't think you should rush into anything romantic right now.

With a little time and space to grieve, he might become more emotionally available down the line. But for now, it's probably best to just be a supportive, platonic presence in his life, rather than getting too tangled up in his neediness. You're doing the mature, responsible thing here, sis.

[Asker]

He’s been accusing me of kissing other men, then he’ll say he’s just joking…..

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's really messed up that he's been accusing you of kissing other guys, even if he claims he's just joking. That's a huge red flag and a major breach of trust, especially so early on in the relationship.

It sounds like this guy is super insecure and controlling, and he's trying to manipulate you by making these kinds of accusations. Even if he's saying it's "just a joke," that behavior is not okay. It's a form of emotional abuse, trying to make you feel guilty and make you question your own actions.

I really think you need to put up some firm boundaries with him about this. Make it crystal clear that the accusatory comments and "jokes" are completely unacceptable, and you won't tolerate that kind of behavior. If he keeps it up, you may need to reconsider if this is a relationship worth pursuing.

You deserve to be with someone who trusts you and respects you, not someone who is constantly doubting your faithfulness and trying to control you. Don't be afraid to stand your ground on this. Your well-being and self-worth are way too important.

I know it's tough when someone is going through a hard time like he is with his mom's passing. But that doesn't give him an excuse to treat you this way. Be strong, girl. You've got this! Let me know if you need any other advice.

[Asker]

There was a time that I blocked him an awhile ago and he called me 8 times on no Caller ID and also left me two voicemails that were 4 min long.

I feel like I’m not a priority, he makes a effort to communicate with me everyday but doesn’t really make an effort to see me? When I do try to end things he blows my phone up on blocked numbers…

He even told me that he was falling in love with me? That he has strong feelings for me? Yet we’ve only met once 3 days ago?

[Wise4myage]

He sounds very desperate.