Red flag that he doesn’t put effort in when dating?

[Anonymous]

Been friends for 5 years and started dating a month ago. I don’t hear from him until around midday. No morning or night messages unless he’s feeling cheeky in the evening.
The last girl he was into, he drove to get her coffee and got her flowers and did all this stuff. I love flowers so much but haven’t gotten any… at this point I’m like I don’t care about the flowers, just text me in the morning and night too. A simple good morning or goodnight, doesn’t have to be full conversation.
This was our conversation and he’s just not getting it… I don’t know what to do because it’ll be so hard to throw our 5 years of friendship away.

Updates

1 y

His response the the last message was “because you keep bringing it up. I’m literally more than happy to wait a year for you to come back”

Updates

1 y

I’m also going overseas for a year*

[ohsheeT]

Yeah you guys went into a lifelong journey as friends

To become lovers
And in his head that hasn't hit home yet I don't think

He looks at you as his best friend which is a good deal and what you need to talk to him about is making you feel special once in awhile

And you don't need to bring up any of his things that he did for other girls since you know because you're talking about two different worlds almost right now
If you wouldn't have been friends you wouldn't know this kind of stuff

But he let you in on it because you were his friend
You are his friend

It's totally wrong for you to compare another girl and you because you're two different people two different situations

But what you can do is just say make me feel special once in awhile you know treat me as if we're dating and I'm special and you want me...

That means that goes the same for you too you need to do stuff to make him feel special and wanted to and if you have to teach him by doing that and doing that and doing that and doing that he'll finally get to him and then maybe do it for you too but

Yeah don't compare that's just not right it's not it's just not right I'll just say that

[Asker]

I compared because I’m his girlfriend and he never does anything for me and can’t even text me… yet a girl he wasn’t even dating he was buying flowers for, travelling far for, for coffee and so on and they weren’t even dating- she didn’t even like him. This was a month before him and I started dating too. We always do things to make him feel special… I’m always making plans to do stuff, I pay for half- if not more of our things, I did a whole special thing for Christmas (he didn’t do anything for me), I text him all the time… comparing was because he made a comment that lead me to compare because I thought it was so bizarre.

[ohsheeT]

You know I can feel your words every time that we've talked and to be honest with you he totally blew it I mean I can feel you and there's something so very hot sexy and naughty about you and I think he's going to miss you cuz you're eventually going to walk away and I think he will actually miss you maybe

[exitseven]

damn, this guy needs to wake up and smell the coffee. What he is doing is very obvious. You have been friends for a long time so he feels like he does not have to put any effort into the relationship.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO

[PeachyPie93]

He most likely just isn't that into you.. I suggest down grading him back to a friend and not bothering with more. Guys who always fight when you ask them simple things and don't make you feel secure, or put no effort are NOT the one.

[Flower7]

Have you tried sending HIM good morning or good night messages?

[Asker]

I message him goodnight every night and he doesn’t even read it by morning. If I haven’t messaged him in the evening then I 100% message him in the morning.

[MzAsh]

You’ve been friends for years, so the honeymoon phase isn’t there. I don’t think he’s that into you. You’re pushing it and coming off needy which isn’t helping either.

[Tmucciolo]

Trying to guilt trip into believing your the problem and over reacting. I would say "i think we would be better off remaining friends."

[slatyb]

He's not really into you. Stop chasing.