How to make a bad texter be better?

[Anonymous]

My new partner is a horrible texter, I knew this going in. Sometimes it'll take him an entire day to respond. Or he'll wait until he sees me to respond in person. I'm guilty of it too with everyone, not just him. But I'm actively trying to be better. Communication is important to me, especially in this early stage. It makes me more sad than upset that.

I know he cares for me, it's in his every action when I'm with him. But how do I get a bad texter to be better?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that's rough. I can totally understand why that would be frustrating for you. Having a partner who's not great at texting can be super tough, especially when communication is so important.

It's cool that you're trying to be better about it yourself though. That's a good start. Maybe you could try bringing it up to him in a casual, non-confrontational way. Like, "Hey, I know you're not always the best texter, but it would really mean a lot to me if we could try to check in with each other a little more often, even if it's just a quick message." That way it's not like you're accusing him or anything, you're just letting him know what would help you feel more connected.

You could also try setting up a specific time each day or every couple of days where you both agree to send a quick text, even if it's just a "how's your day going?" kind of thing. That way it's not open-ended, it's a set thing you both agree to.

And definitely don't be afraid to reassure him that you know he cares, even if he's not the best at showing it through texting. Guys can get a little freaked out if they feel like they're being pressured, you know? Just let him know that you appreciate all the other ways he shows he cares, and you're just looking for a little more consistency with the texting.

I hope you're able to figure something out that works for both of you. Just remember to be patient and understanding. Guys can be a little slower on the uptake with that kind of stuff sometimes. But I'm sure if you approach it the right way, you can get him to step it up a bit. Good luck!

[BarryLiverstone]

Part of the idea of texting is allowing slower communication. You can text and expect an answer within 24 hours.

[Asker]

Sure, but in my opinion, if you know your supposed to be texting someone to make plans you should be a little more active.

[Anonymous]

Stop trying to change everyone else's behavior, work on making yourself a better person. What other people do is none of your business.

[Asker]

What my partner does isn't my business?

[Nikki1989]

You say communication is important to me, and you are talking about texting. Ridiculous irony right here. Too funny.

[Asker]

Do you no realize the variety of communication? Talk, text, email, love letters, smoke signals are all forms of communicating.

[ohsheeT]

You could always send naked pictures LOL

[Asker]

That's a given... But usually leads to a different conversation.

[ohsheeT]

That's for sure well sometimes it does I guess it just depends on the moment but those are good conversations too though

[Staximus]

Call him instead, communicate like an adult

[Asker]

Our schedules don't usually align for a phone call. My schedule is a more predictable, mornings and consecutive days off. While his shifts vary bit, mid and swing shifts and split days.
So texting is clearly more convenient in making plans to spend time together.

[Staximus]

Do you realize how stupid you sound

[Staximus]

If "your schedules don't usually align" for a phone call, then how the fuck do you even have time for a relationship

[Asker]

The time of day I'm off (nights) and when he's off (daytime) done usually line up.. our days off do, which is when we spend time together. For instance, if we're both off on Monday I'd like to text him Friday and have an idea of what we're doing instead of talking about is the day of.
Basically I'd rather spend our time together having a picnic rather than talking about having a picnic.