Why don't attractive men/ men my age approach me?

[Anonymous]

For context and not to brag, I'm considered pretty and attractive, I have really good grades and have my stuff together (if that matters lmao). However, I'm a really talkative girl, and I've been recently thinking that this might be causing me the following issue.

I do get approached by a lot of men, but mostly they're spread into two categories: men my age who are average/ below average in terms of looks although doing good financially, and men who are twice my age, great stability but same issue, not a single one of them is attractive.

For context, and not to brag, I'm often considered pretty and attractive. I also have really good grades and have my life together (if that matters, lol). However, I’m a really talkative person, and lately I’ve been wondering if this might be contributing to an issue I’ve been noticing.

I get approached by a lot of men, but they mostly fall into two categories: men my age, who are average or below average in looks, and men who are twice my age—stable, but again, not attractive.

As I mentioned, I’m a talkative girl, so I’ve been thinking maybe that's the reason or perhaps there's something else at play. I'm open to talking to people, but I’m not an "easy" girl when it comes to dating, and I don’t flirt with everyone who approaches me.

I'm starting to believe that the issue might be something about me. Could anyone offer some insight or analysis into why this could be happening?

[Summeroflove]

Well they don’t have to approach you those who sit and wait are going to have less options because of the simple fact that that’s the only choices you have. Rejection is scary…. But if you want someone you need to make the move.

Trust me the kind of men you’re wanting probably get a lot of attention… They have a lot of women around them showing them effort and attention. It’s not that if they really like someone they won’t approach but…. You probably understand.

Stop waiting around. If you like someone they aren’t obligated to approach you. So if you’re only getting men you don’t want that much maybe you need to go show sone effort.

[Summeroflove]

You seem to have a huge entitlement complex. You can have standards nobody is entitled to you. But on that same note you’re not entitled to anyone else.

That could also be why those kind of men aren’t picking you. They figure you’re after their money or whatever.

[Asker]

I already come from a wealthy family so their money isn't going to make any difference really. I just found it a bit weird that all the guys that approach me are really similar to each other.

[Summeroflove]

Because they have a lot of options already and many are taken as it is.

[Avicenna]

Any answer you get here is speculative because we don’t see your interactions with others and can’t observe things like body language.

I do wonder, though, if you’re seen as uninterested in dating if you’re constantly rejecting guys. If you’re talkative it may be assumed that you can’t be single.

[Nikki1989]

Most men are weak and spineless. Most will never approach, they just don't have the balls to do so.

[Spencer10]

Hmmm... maybe your emphasis on guys being "attractive" or "average" or "below average" may give you a clue? I cannot help but get a first impression that seems a bit shallow... First impressions are important.

[Asker]

I didn't want it sound that way. What I meant was most of the guys that approach me romantically are those who ask every girl out and generally everyone tells me that I'm out of their league and that I deserve better. ( They're not my type either)
Some of them are really kind and amazing people, but I often end up friend zoning them because I don't find them attractive

[Spencer10]

Well attraction is always a mystery. But its tough for any guy to approach a woman. It takes a lot of confidence. But maybe you should not be so passive either? Maybe you should approach guys you find attractive?

[Asker]

I had friends who did that and mostly guys ended up saying that she was running after him and such stuff whenever an argument happened. To be honest, I feel like most of the guys whom I find attractive tend to be overly popular and only into girls who party.

[Spencer10]

Well that does not sound attractive at all... sounds like they are jerks. Maybe you need to explore why you find these kinda guys attractive?

[Asker]

Your point is really valid. It's always been personality vs looks for me. Most of the guys I find physically attractive are jerks or cheaters, while the ones who have good personalities aren't as attractive or stable. I just had some hope that at some point maybe I'll find sm1 with both

[Spencer10]

Oh don't give up hope... Attraction is a puzzle that is difficult to solve. But a puzzle well worth working to solve.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Spencer10]

I call em as I see em.

[BarryLiverstone]

Could be that the guys who approach you, you don’t find attractive. Do you have a type?

[Asker]

I wouldn't say a very narrow type, just nice hair, eyes, taller than me and mature. I used to model at some point and I have to admit that a lot of those guys are attractive it's just that the majority of them talk to tons of girls and that's a turn off, and very childish manners

[BarryLiverstone]

Having lots of friends isn’t a negative. Usually it means the guy is open to being social and it’s awkward. Yes I’ll agree manners of respect and being polite do matter.

But whether you modeled or not, are you sending the guys you want nonverbal signals so that they know you are into them?

[Asker]

By talking I meant flirting not having friends lol. I'm just scared that modeling made me set the bar super high for looks + as I said I'm really talkative, I do compliment them sometimes

[BarryLiverstone]

You being talkative and giving genuine compliments is a good thing. What you may be running into is guys who lack some confidence. If he’s feeling lower self esteem that’s going to be what you are describing. So best to find guys who have higher confidence and know their value. Then even if you are attractive they will not worry too much. Makes sense?

[BarryLiverstone]

That being said if you are too talkative and not willing to listen in a conversation, I see that as an issue.

[Anonymous]

I know you parents can't tell you're really not a princess. But guess what? I can. My advice to you? Buy twinkle and get real good at math because life is going to be hard for you. Being an ugly girl is like being a man, you're going to have to work.

[ehatsham_hussain]

Nothing to worry , it's just your over expectation.

[Reijen]

X to doubt on attractive.

[Asker]

Sorry?

[Reijen]

You're excused.