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Do guys at the gym usually approach the girls they find attractive?
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Yes. But we're talking about online dating here. Women and men that date online are going 90% off of looks because there's not a lot else to go off of. And most women who date online are just window shopping anyways. I had this one woman say she just flicks to bean to men's pics on dating apps.😆 Which brings me to my next point. A lot of the women on dating apps aren't even women. They're typically some 300lb. Guy in his mom's basement in Detroit looking for attention. or some starving skinny guy in Africa just trying to scam money to feed his family. And the few women that are women you can probably figure have at least one STD. Sorry man, I hate to be the guy to have to tell you there is no Santa Claus.
So don't beat yourself up unecessarily. Nothing is typically what it seems online.
No. I think most people should have a good level of fitness for their health, especially walking up and down the stairs without being out of breath. Beyond that it's personal preference.