How do I ask out a girl I’ve been going to church with?

[HereWeGo99]

I’ve been getting to know a girl we will call Aspen through church. We met at a bookstore where we had a deep conversation about faith, and she invited me to her church group. Since then, I’ve attended multiple services and gatherings, and we’ve had solid interactions. She introduced me to her friends, engaged with me in group settings, and we’ve had some one-on-one conversations—some religious, some more playful.
I’ve worked on making myself stand out but friends think I still come across more as a religious friend rather than someone she’d see romantically.

Now, I’ve hit a timing issue. She’s going on a mission trip next week, I won’t see her for over a week. When she gets back, it’ll be close to Valentine’s Day. I feel like I need to make some kind of move before she leaves so that she at least has me in mind while she’s gone, rather than just being another church friend.

Now here are the possible options
1. Valentine’s Approach – Casually bring up that when she gets back, it’ll be close to Valentine’s Day, ask if she has a Valentine, then joke, “If you want one, I know a guy who's into you" From there, I’d transition into a more serious moment where I tell her I like her and want to get to know her more. This approach is playful and lighthearted, but I worry it might come across as too much if she’s caught off guard.
2. Direct Approach – Before she leaves, just straight-up tell her, “I like you, and I want to get to know you more.” This is bold and removes any ambiguity, but I don’t know if it’s too forward for our current stage.
3. Simpler Ask-Out– My mom thinks I should skip the Valentine’s angle and just say, “Hey, when you get back, I’d love to take you out and get to know you more.” This is clear and confident but might not build as much intrigue or flirtation.

Which approach do y'all think would work best, given the context? Or is there a better way to go about this?

[ohsheeT]

Well basically the same way that you had that deep conversation about faith you have the same type of conversation about asking her out let her feel your vibe your intentions who you truly are and just do it you have nothing to be afraid of or ashamed of if she says yes cool if she says no cool there's a reason for it don't get all caught up in it just be yourself and have that conversation you can still be your friend no matter what

[HereWeGo99]

Yessir thanks brotha!

[HungTexan]

Direct approach just like if you met her somewhere other than church. Don’t overthink this.

[HereWeGo99]

True, just gotta keep it simple sometimes. I like your username by the way😂

[HungTexan]

Thanks

[Kelley1]

#3 and why have you waited so long? It is a wonder that she hasn't already culled your sorry a$$ out. That is what happens to wimpy guys who don't strike while the iron is hot.

[HereWeGo99]

Straight I appreciate the criticism!

[Shakenbake11]

How is waiting wimpy you only get one chance so make it count. The word creep could be thrown out quick if you ask too quick

[HereWeGo99]

@Shakenbake11 these days this is also true but maybe it’s less common than we think, I don't know good argument tho

[Shakenbake11]

Maybe

[Kelley1]

Also, don't make the mistake of being too nice like one girl said to the other. "I'm not going out with him anymore."
"What is the matter? Wasn't he nice?"
"That is the problem, he's too damn nice."

On the first date, be a perfect gentleman.
On the second date be a gentleman but see if you can kiss her.
On the third date, unless she will not sit close to you, try and get into her pants. She may not let you, but she will not cull you out for being too nice. Girls don't reject guys they like for trying without using any force.

[Shakenbake11]

Should I be nice to girls u am trying to attract. But not necessarily dating., what in your opinion is too nice

[Kelley1]

@Shakenbake11 There are rare exceptions but generally when you first meet and/or on the first date, be a perfect gentleman. That lets them know they can trust you and they will let their defenses down. If you come on strong and, if they like you, they will not reject you but their defenses will be sky-high and that is not good.

There is no rule on how long you should be a gentleman but generally after 1, 2, or 3 dates, you should make a move and/or try to get into her pants unless she is tense and will not sit close and kiss. Start by putting your hand on her knee and slowly move your hand up. At mid-thigh or higher, she may lightly put her hand on your hand indicating that you should go no further. Withdraw until a few minutes later. That lets her know she is in control; that you will not force. Then, since she knows you always stop if she so indicates, she feels safe to allow more and more until maybe she doesn't want to stop.

You are too nice if, after several dates, you never try. If you never try, you are a simp and girls don't like simps. Girls are sexual beings too and occasionally they would like to have sex even if they may not allow it. However, they are not going to tell you. They want you to initiate it; so, when they do, it is not their doing. However, if you do nothing more than kiss, they will be frustrated and disappointed. If that continues, they will cull you out and find a real man.

If she will have sex with you, she will probably marry you; otherwise, she will not.

[Nikki1989]

What does going to church have to do with anything?

Just ask her out.

[HereWeGo99]

You’ve got a point😂

[Abbycado]

Skip Valentine’s Day. That’s never a good idea when first going out on a date.

[HereWeGo99]

Good to know, last summer I got out of a 6 year relationship so I’m so rusty in terms of the dating scene lol

[Abbycado]

Valentine’s Day is way too much pressure for a first date.

[Anonymous]

How old are u both? Why do u like her

[HereWeGo99]

She’s 21 and I’m 23. She’s very positive, passionate, respectful, etc. I see many great qualities that I admire. And to be honest this is the girl I’ve been attracted to without any “lust” it’s just pure and innocent attraction. Haven’t quite had that type of connection or view of someone before.

[Opinion Owner]

How do u both look

[Opinion Owner]

? there

[Shakenbake11]

2 in my opinion

[HereWeGo99]

Appreciate your opinion!

[Shakenbake11]

No prob