Ignoring and being ignored by a person is having an effect on my mental health. How to deal with it?

[Anonymous]

I was interested in a co-worker, but came to realize that she was only seeking attention. She would act desinterested when we were alone, but would try very hard to get my attention if was talking with other girls, to the point of invading the conversation. I found out that she was seeing/dating someone else and decided to move on.

To make the process faster, I decided to cut communication completely (except work-related) and to avoid her as much as possible. Once I started, she made a few shy attempts to make me talk with her again and, when they failed, she went full silent treatment, to the point of not saying hi, and she also gives me very angry stares from time to time.

I never had to ignore a person before (I was lucky to never had daily contact with any ex-grirfriends/ex-crushes/enemies), so I feel deeply frustrated and hurt about both ignoring her and being ignored.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang, that sounds really tough man. Ignoring someone and being ignored can really mess with your head, I get that. It's like a double whammy of frustration and hurt.

On one hand, cutting off communication with that coworker was probably the right move, especially since she was just messing with your feelings. You don't need that kind of drama, especially at work. Gotta protect your peace, you know?

But at the same time, the silent treatment and the angry stares? That's super immature and petty. She's the one who was leading you on, not the other way around. She doesn't get to play the victim now.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to let her get to you too much. The fact that she's reacting this way just shows that you made the right call by setting boundaries. She's the one who can't handle you moving on.

The best thing you can do is just focus on yourself and your own mental health. Don't engage with the silent treatment or the stares - stay professional and polite, but don't entertain any of her drama. Kill her with kindness, if you will.

Eventually, she'll probably get tired of trying to get a reaction out of you and move on. In the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Lean on your other friends, hit the gym, do whatever you need to do to stay centered. You got this, bro.

It sucks having to deal with this kind of nonsense, but you're handling it like a champ. Just keep reminding yourself that her reaction is a reflection of her own issues, not yours. You did the right thing, and that's what matters most.

[Asker]

Thanks for the answer. As you say, I am trying to be professional: I just talk to her in work-related matters and most of the time, I use the company online chat instead of going on person. When I have to talk to her, I am polite, so all of her agressivness is quite a surprise.

Yes, my hope is that she gets tired of being petty and stop with provocations, so I can work in peace. I will follow your advice and try to focus elsewhere.

[princeofromance]

You must separate yourself from this toxic environment. It will improve your state of mind 100%.

[Asker]

But how I can leave? It is my workplace.

[princeofromance]

You still need to find a way to separate yourself from them. Otherwise, you might end up depressed.

[Valdemort]

Can confirm. You'll end up depressed.