Why would a man who you thought was interested in you suddenly do this?

[Amy10223]

Mentioning other women or going out with other women. I don't know this man well, bit I kind of like him. We've communicated for a long time either through email and a texting app. We've only met 3 times (his country) and I don't know much about the dating culture there, just some. They are not like American men are with dating. I know there is not much for me to hope for being he is so far, and we have never spoken about feelings. I'm not good with showing interest, I just continue to write. He says he is shy himself. But he continues to write almost every day, and this is the 2nd time he has mentioned other women. This time, it is a "new friend". :( I am wondering if this is his way of just saying goodbye to this relationship we have.

Updates

1 y

I'm going to add a note here which may bring about some new insight. He, I think, may be very proud. I've been in his country twice, he has never been anywhere in 30 years besides his own country and in Hawaii, Malaysia. He doesn't seem to have much but a home and a car. He once said he could not afford a car like mine (it's very old). Sometimes, I wonder if he thinks that he is not on the same economic "level" as I am, or maybe that I'm well off (I'm not at all). He may not like this.

Updates

1 y

The “new friend” turned out to be, a young guy from Latvia. I feel like such a fool. He didn’t specify the gender, and I assumed it was a female when he said friend. Oh no….

[Anonymous]

He might not be romantically interested, unsure about the distance, testing your interest, or just sharing. Consider cultural differences too. You could ask him directly, reflect on your own feelings, and try not to overthink it. Open communication is key.

[Amy10223]

How would he be testing my interest?

[Bklynbadboy12]

Maybe he doesn't realize your into him and he's keeping his options open. My advise to you is sit him down over dinner and have a serious chat with him about what it is that you to are doing and where you want it to go and see if he's on the same page

[Amy10223]

He doesn’t think so, at all. But then I’m not even sure he likes me. He’s far so it may be hard for him and he sees no point in it. he has a new friend and so I’m sure he may not be communicating, at least not this much. Thanks.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Ok so what arr you gonna do

[Amy10223]

Well, he is far so I can't really talk to him in person unless it is on something like Zoom. I wish I was brave but I can tell you now, I am not in this kind of situation But he just texted me, saying he arrived in a town where his work sends him by train. This is what I don't understand, why he keeps this up when I'm not sure if he does have an interest in me. I have never spoken to him about this and neither has he; I'm not good with flirting. I like your idea---and I just may have to do this in a letter to him. I have to get brave otherwise I will never know.

[Amy10223]

He just sent a set of photos, 6 of them. He always sends some along with his messages.

[Amy10223]

However, I saw that he wrote, but and I didn't want to reply just yet, so his message appears unread. He plays these games sometimes, like not reading my messages either until after a while.

[Amy10223]

It’s a male friend. 😂😅🥹

[Bklynbadboy12]

So what are you gonna do

[Amy10223]

I would rather talk to him in person. I think now, looking back, that he once tried to tell me. He told me that we had written back and forth so far a number of times --and that we "understood each other and had a respect for each other in our hearts". This was him explaining as best as he could in English (he's a non native speaker of English). I did not understand him at first and I asked what he meant, and it came out something like that. So maybe, I can go back to this and ask him if he wants to be more than friends. But--I don't like to put him on the spot.

[dustybiker2]

Maybe he'll stay friends. You never know.

[Amy10223]

He's the type who will remain friends, I have no doubt. It's what I'm feeling that hurts.

[dustybiker2]

Of course.

[AviatorTom]

Long distance relationships are difficult. Perhaps he has found someone closer to home, and letting you know thst as calmly as he can.

[Friendlybro79]

It's hard to wonder all these things and I totally understand why you would. That said, I would talk about how you're feeling and ask directly. Life's too short to wonder.

[Amy10223]

What shall I ask him?

[Friendlybro79]

Literally ask him how he feels about you and if he sees your relationship as more than friends or something along those lines. Good luck!

[Amy10223]

Thanks. All this time, I have not shown interest except for a little teasing.

[Friendlybro79]

You're welcome.

[eagle1951]

sounds like it