When a man sees that a woman he’s pursuing isn’t gonna give it up and isn’t an easy catch, will he start to text and call less?

[Anonymous]

[Cormac995]

Yes, because contrary to popular belief the majority of men do respect the word no meaning no so if you say know then you shouldn't be upset when they leave or stops paying attention besides he's not going to pay the same level of attention if you're not interested because they have to focus that attention on someone who does so of course he's going to call and text you less. You're not interested and so he's not going to keep pining for weeks and spend extra spare energy on you they could be spending looking for a relationship. If you tell a guy you just want to be friends, he's going to treat you like one.

[Cormac995]

Wait re read that and I'm requesting clarification when you say easy catch do you mean you won't sleep with them until you're 100% or do you mean you want a guy to put in constant effort trying to court you because there's a difference in that context.

[Asker]

Oh no. I wasn’t asking this in a mind game “Imma gonna make him chase me.” Kind of way but more son in a I’m doing the right thing when it comes to dating and knowing whose for me and whose not kind of way. Validation that me not being easily accessible is working for me not against me.

[Asker]

I actually think the guy who prompted me to ask this still likes me as I do him but I feel the both of us are expecting different things from our attraction/liking of another. When I finally told that to him he said that he feels as if I wanna take things slow and not make nothing into something but let things just flow naturally. That’s exactly what I meant when I told him. He hasn’t cut me off. Nor have I him. We still friendly text and talk but the constant flirting and cute things he was doing had stopped which is fine with me because we were friends before anything. He and I work together. Not to mention he’s something like a ladies man and he knows I know this lol. So this question is not coming from a negative aspect. Although it may be worded as though it is. No jabs were thrown and no boundaries were crossed.

[Asker]

And as much of a good guy/gentleman he is he’s still a guy at the end of the day and I’m a pretty girl (Not to sound arrogant). His likely motive is still sex even if he does genuinely like me as a person.

[Cormac995]

In that case than no and in fact you're making the right choice. in my opinion more than five sex partners is a red flag and shows a high risk of cheating because sex isn't seen as intimate and private to them it's seen as recreation. If you're looking for a committed relationship your better off keep your legs closed until there's love. Key word there "Love" not attraction, not sex appeal not a crush love that should be the minimum bar for entry pun intended. If you make it clear that you want a real a loving relationship with a connection before taking that step, then if they have a problem with it, you actually dodged a bullet because that means he saw what was between your legs not you. A good partner will understand and wait for love before that step. I'm not saying no sex before marriage but sex without love is unethical.

[Asker]

When sex gets involved and nothing else was built around it (a solid and genuine foundation) all you end up having is two people who ruined something that could have been good had they not rushed into things. You possibly even ruin the friendship you had prior.

[Cormac995]

If you told them that and it's a deal breaker, they're not relationship material.

[Cormac995]

Exactly I've had sex one time on the rebound from my ex if you could call her that I guess, and it was awful. As soon as the sex hormones disappeared, I felt sick and dirty, and I feel unhappy about it because now that I had my first time with someone, I didn't love I can never give that part of myself to someone I really do because a stranger took it in an awful one-night stand. The sex wasn't even good I had to do all the work she just laid there and wouldn't stop talking so I couldn't focus and had to do everything, and this was on top of listening to her cry and moan about her dead ex-boyfriend she still loved who killed himself and her miscarriage. By the time she wanted sex I felt like I couldn't say no and she seemed so unstable I was worried if I tried shooting her down, she might try to pull something, so I caved even though by then I was super uncomfortable.

Trust me I'm 29 I've never had a real girlfriend and I've given up dating and I wish I was still a virgin because at least then I wouldn't feel gross every time I thought about the one time I had sex. If being patient for a connection before that is a deal breaker, I promise you they're not the one and you're wasting your time on them.

[Zack-Bann]

For most men “isn’t gonna give it up” just translates to “oh, I guess she’s not that into me unfortunately”


Because men do view sex as a show of affection and commitment.


So if a woman is denying that any good man would respect her choice and pull away from her


The way you phrase the question using terms like “pursuing” makes the whole thing sound dirty and predatory.
99.99% of the time it isn’t
(It’s an accurate number when you look at the statistics of actual predatory cases)

[Changiis07]

Only sex is what he wants then yes. A guy who wants to have a relationship will like the fact that you are not an easy catch and isn't going to give it up that quick. That's why it is good to take your time when dating to see what they do. There are still good guys that want a relationship and will respect the fact that you don't want to have sex yet. It's best to be in a relationship or wait until marriage to do so. Saves you a hearthache

[HollyK21]

Intention is the key here. If a guy doesn’t intend to stick around then it doesn’t matter when you hook up, he was going to jump ship no matter what. Your intentions are important too because if you see he doesn’t want the same things then you can stop wasting both of your time and cut ties.

[HollyK21]

Also, any version of “going with the flow” “let’s see where this goes” “I just got out of something and not sure what I’m looking for yet”, all those versions of uncertainty mean that he does not want a relationship. If I were to ask you right now what you want from a man, you’d most likely say a relationship. Obviously not right away but the intention would be to work towards something mutually. All his foot dragging and excuses are wasting your time, and nothing against him, you just don’t want casual sex or really casual anything if it’s not going anywhere.

[Asker]

Nah. What I want from a man is a man who gets me. Who sees me. Who understands. Not exactly a relationship at this moment. I want a man who likes me and enjoys me as much as I enjoy and like him without made up or forced expectations of what we will or could be. So when I say I’m all for going with the flow of things I mean how it turns out is gonna be based on what naturally occurs between us two. Without either of us turning from our own personal values, morals and beliefs outside of each other. I want something real and if that turns out to be a relationship between said man in the future so be it but it won’t be forced. We’ll both just know.

[HollyK21]

So my best friend is a licensed relationship counselor, has been for the past 8 years. A lot of advice that I give with dating are tips I got directly from her and why I say intention is so important. Remember the part where I said “obviously not right away”, because of course you don’t want a relationship with him right now, or even within a month. It takes time to get to know someone but what you want is for you both to be on the same page about the direction that you’re going. Having a man who gets you, sees you, understands you, that should be your man and not just a friend or someone you see casually. I mean you don’t desire those things of a male friend right? Most likely not. Your time is important, so is how you spend it and who you invest it in IF a you do want a relationship with a guy (potentially this one) someday. I mean when you’re texting, hanging out, etc, that should all be building towards something, otherwise it’s a waste of time. You just become a place holder, using each other until one of you does find someone else, and if you have the values you stated, I doubt that is the outcome you want. Right now you guys are kinda stagnant, he isn’t going anywhere but he isn’t really doing anything. That’s not much to work with.

[ohsheeT]

Yes sooner or later the guy gets tired of trying and tired of pushing himself out there like he is and he'll come to the point where he thinks it's just a game she feels it's just a game and he's just going to back way off and he'll do it probably pretty quickly

[DishLady]

Some do, some don't. A guy who is just in it to get laid will obviously just move on. A guy who wants more from you will stick around.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Some guys will, some guys will not. And others just go see someone else.

[LiamS95]

If all he's looking for with you is sex you don't want a guy like that anyway.

[Anonymous]

When I guy sees that a woman is just a game player he backs off, yes.

[AnonAndrew]

Most likely, yes.

[Vegasrunner]

Only if he doesn't have other options

[In_Trance]

Of course he would