Am I overreacting to our quality time?

[Anonymous]

Hello all, I am a 22 year old female dating a 26 year old male. I want to start this off by saying he is a great guy. He listens, cares about me, makes me dinners, always calls/texts. He's just great. We've been dating for 3 years and living together for 1. My boyfriend is a pretty hardcore gamer and spends most of his free time doing that. Before we lived together, on the weekends he would play his games while I did my schoolwork. We would put a show on in the background and called this our “alone time together.” now, that I always enjoyed. Even with that though, he still always made sure we spent quality time together. I noticed when we moved in that we began to spend less quality time with each other. Still, we did get some in, so I didn't worry about it. Now, this past month, everything has changed. He's really into a new game and spends his free time doing nothing else. We can't do our “alone time together” because he puts headphones on for this game and litterally notices nothing. I kid you not, every night I spend at home, I spend completely by myself. He will spend about 30 mins with me when he gets home, and that's it. I am going to bring it up to him once I figure out what I want to say. The real issue is, I know he'll listen to me and change his behavior, but I'm scared ill still feel upset. The reason is, I feel like he doesn't want to spend time with me. If he really missed me, he would simply chose to spend a night with me. How do I know from here on out that he's spending time with me because he wants to, and not because I asked him too? I feel horrible because I've been cold/distant since I noticed all this, im just upset. I've never felt unloved by him, and for the first time I do. Any advice? Thank you for reading all that.

[ohsheeT]

I honestly feel bad for you because he's going to lose a good thing I felt every single one of your words and if he cannot see that and if he cannot feel that coming from you then he's going to lose you I can tell you that right now

Even though you're younger you're wiser you're more mature and you have goals and you keep growing and he's not he's sitting on the couch shrinking his head is on one place and the only one place all day long basically

And when he cannot communicate to you or hold you or give you passion sensual touch in any manner mentally physically spiritually you're going to get to a point which you are already I believe is what I hear but I felt too but you want more and you need more because that's just who you are that's who we are we all just can't sit still and just rot away we all need to keep growing and keep growing forward because that's how we grow that's how we become bigger better people that's part of life is part of a relationship too doing that together is one of the best things in the world because that's when you become one with your partner that's what love is all about that's what experiencing love is all about and laughing and joking and being that couple that can do that and they don't let anything bother them because it's true love in your case it was true love I'm sure it still is to a point I don't want to say what I'm saying but I have to because is true and you know it's true


I honestly don't know how much longer you're going to take it or want to take it I mean I feel that you have a beautiful heart and you're a good person and you kind of held yourself back already in a lot of different ways and this question is either the start of it which I don't think I think you're about the middle of it or three quarters of the way through it that you're worth more than that and you know that that's why you feel the way you feel and you know what love is all about you have it within you he might he might not if he does he forgot about it because there's only one important thing to him and that's that game and no matter what in any relationship your partner comes first no matter what you're doing so the only thing I can say

Is there's going to become a moment in time where enough is enough and you're going to walk away

You can go about that a couple different ways you can wait and just let this thing build up and build up and build up until you snap or you can stop and think about it right now

Ask yourself does he truly love you and I'm sure you're going to say yes that's the reason why you're together but you're going to have to make him feel something so he understands what you're saying to him or what you feel
It is better to get it done now not let it keep boiling over and boiling over

But what's going to happen is you're going to give him a choice either you or the games and that's a bold choice.

But you can do it a couple different ways you can just walk away and say look when you're ready to be my boyfriend again I'll be here wherever here is..
Cuz in order for him to make any choices he's going to have to feel that pain.

But the thing is about that it's going to be bold because either he's going to say f you and leave you leave I mean and he might not think about it for a couple months or might want to do anything about it for a couple months by then you could have another boyfriend or whatever but at least he will prove to you exactly how much he does love you..

I have to put myself in that position and I don't play video games or anything so it's easy for me to say this kind of but I mean if.
I had a girlfriend and she said that to me I don't think she would get very far out the door because I'd feel guilty first of all look how much time did he hasn't been with you see and I can't do that I have to make it all about my girlfriend when I have a girlfriend and because I love her to be happy so I make everything about her but anyway that's about the only advice I can give you but I know it's going to happen because that's part of life I mean that's not part of life but that's part of an addiction that he's addicted to the games instead of you

[Anonymous]

Follow him, be a part of what he enjoys. After a while, he will join in the activity you enjoy. Either way, you will be doing something together.

[RageBabe]

Absolutely not; more time with you should be something he desires.

[RageBabe]

@Anonymous Thank you for the MHO!

[Anonymous]

i assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out

[Anonymous]

No, you are not overreacting one bit.

[In_Trance]

Yes you are