This guy and I have been seeing eachother for 4 months on and off with a month break in between because he said he realized that I wasn't able to do the friends with benefits thing which is true, and he didn't want anything serious right now. But after a month he came back and invitied me out and since then we have seen eachother a lot. We don't text much but we went out two weeks ago and I ended up spending 3 nights at his and he was different. He was more affecionate than in the past. We are able to tell eachother that we care a lot about the other person but he said he was afraid that it was distracting him too much to let these feelings happen. But only 2days later he asked me out again and yet again I ended up spending 3nights at his. The first night we got a bit drunk and he was saying all kinds of things like that he is wondering why I was still here after everything that had happened, and that I only deserve the best and so on. I thought he was about to reveal his feelings for me. But the next day I tried to discuss this and he said he has feelings for me but that he doesn't want to talk about it and that he just wants to take it date by date /step by step and not open that box of admitting feelings to eachother as if he had a bad experience. I felt rejected again and said I don't enjoy being strung along to which he said nothing. We still spent two more days together and it was great, very intimate and it's like being at home when I am there. We do everything together from cooking, working, having a good time, cuddle and sleeping together. When we said goodbye though, it felt casual again as if the bubble burst again and we re-entered reality. I should probably push more for a decision - or because human beings are complex should I take this as progress and take it a bit slower and have patience? I should mention he had a bad break up with the mother of his child 4years ago and I can tell it bruised him badly - but in the end, am I just wasting my time?
Can it be more or am I wasting my time?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
You've been giving him free sex. Why would he want a relationship?
it's not 1955. sexual compatibility came first and then we developed feelings. nothing wrong with that.
1955? Huh? Okay, you apparently have no clue how guys think. But, like most women, you think guys view things just like women.
Sexual compatibility came first, then YOU developed feelings. What's this 'we' shit? Once guys have sex without committment there is no reason to get into a relationship.
If he wanted to be in a relationship with you then you would already be in one.
Fair enough, it's your opinion. But I know plenty of couples who started with sex and then committed later. It's not black or white. And yes he said he developed feelings after if you read my text right. but fine if that's what you think... I think it's a bit too closed minded. Not all men think that way either.
I tell you what, if you end up in a committed relationship you let me know and I will gladly eat my words. Many couples that you know that upgraded, 'plenty' as you say. I really doubt that, but regardless I believe I have more experience in this stuff. But what do I know, right?
He said he developed feelings, then what? Hmmmm... NOTHING. Like I said, if he wanted it it would be reality.