Hey all, I am a 22 year old female, dating my 26 year old boyfriend. We have been living together for a year, and dating for 3. Our relationship for the most part has been great! We get along, we have fun, and we never really fight. For starters, I should mention my boyfriend is a huge gamer. For most of our relationship, this didn't bother me. Before we moved in together, most weekends he would play his games while I did all my school work. We would put a show on in the background to watch together and called it our “alone time together.” even with that, he always made sure to spend quality time with me. Ever since we moved in together, I've noticed we spend less quality time together, but it was still there.…up until this month. He's been into a new game and I kid you not, I spend every night at home completey alone. He may be in the same building, sometimes even the same room.. yet I feel completey by myself. For me this is irritating since I work night shift two nights a week, so a night to spend with him is special too me. I am planning on communicating this to him, and I'm sure he'll make more effort, he's a great guy. But, I'm worried that won't fix it. What hurts is that he's choosing his game over me. If he wanted to be spending that time with me, he would be. I feel terrible because I know I've been cold/distant since I've been upset, I just feel so hurt. When I say aside from this issue, he really is the most amazing guy, I mean it. He always texts/checks in when I'm at work, he makes me dinners before he has to go to work, he listens to me. Overall, he treats me so well. I'm just worried I won't be able to feel better even if he does fix the behavior, any advice?
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You can't just BE with each other 24/7. It's not healthy. You need to spend at least a bit of time apart.
YOUR being cold and distant is what's making your time together less than "quality" time. Make more of an effort to reciprocate for the kind gestures he's doing (like prepping dinner) which are HIS efforts to make quality time happen.
No, you have the right to quality time as well as anybody else does.