If you knew your friend’s man was bad news would you tell her?

[Anonymous]

My friend is dating a man that I once dated in the past. She doesn’t know he is my ex, and we broke up because he was violent and physically assaulted me. He brings me so many bad memories and PTSD. I remember the times he bruised me and times he even broke my bones, and choked me. He had me in a vicious cycle of abuse. Then we broke up and he disappeared but years after he is now dating my friend. We went out for dinner after she insisted and he actually cornered me & told me things have changed & he is sorry & that he is a different man blah blah. I told him that idc but he shouldn’t be with my friend cause he is messed up. I would love to tell my friend but I don’t want to be accused of sabotage or jealousy.

[Anonymous]

There's no RIGHT answer to this. The SIMPLE answer is YES. But let me ask you this. Are you so good of a friend that you're ready to lose that friend over this? Because it might come to that.

I had a lady friend who was set to marry a guy that I knew was bad news. I knew the RIGHT thing to do was to tell her the mistake she was making. And as far as I'm concerned that makes a real friend. But I ALSO knew she wouldn't listen. It didn't matter what I'd say. So it wasn't going to help her. It was just going to have me lose her as a friend. Didn't matter that I was right. Didn't matter that she married him. Didn't matter that he walked out on her about the same time her mother died living a massive hole in her heart. And then it didn't matter I tried to pick her up from the floor afterwards.

Personally I think if you truly consider yourself a friend you need to always be truthful. Even if may cost you the friendship. If she is a good friend and you are right. She'll (hopefully) eventually figure it out and come back to you.

[molonski2]

On reading the question I was going to say " None of your business " however seeing as it was physical , I think you should tell her that this is what happened to you , and you have spoken to him..

But at the end of the day , she must decide , so dont try to 100% decide for her..

At least then she can proceed with caution.

[DishLady]

Hmm. It's a wonder you didn't just report this jerk to the authorities.

I get why you're feeling awkward about telling your friend, however you wouldn't be a good friend if you didn't help keep her out of danger.

[Anonymous]

No women don't care they date scumbags and then after they get burnt they blame all men and think we are all the awful ex they had a bad experience with even though people warned them. Just let them learn on their own.

[Bklynbadboy12]

You should tell her