**HELP ME**Why is datingchallenging for me? I make an effort but I keep failing. I’ve neverexperienced love/been in a relationship. HOW IT FEELS LIKE?

[Anonymous]

I’m 20 years old and currently in my second year of college. I’ve never been in a relationship or experienced love, so I’m unsure what it feels like. I find dating quite challenging. I’ve attempted it but haven’t had success. Emotions and love are particularly tough for me because, whenever I engage with a guy, I can immediately sense his intentions due to my intuition. I block them completely. Honestly, I’ve been spot on; the guys I dated briefly (for just a day or two) often end up in relationships with other girls and then cheat those girls (😭fr I saved me)
Dating isn’t hard for me in terms of attraction; I know I’m physically appealing, yet I struggle because I’m looking for a long-term commitment. I’m not interested in casual flings or hookups; I desire an old-fashioned kind of love. Unfortunately, the people around me don’t seem serious. Every time I see beautiful couples, I dream about marrying my first boyfriend, although I’ve never actually had one.
I don’t want anyone to be labeled as “my first boyfriend” unless it truly feels right. I have a list of what I seek in a life partner and qualities I want in my future spouse, and I’ve included myself in that list because it feels important to me.
Dating is also tough because I don’t easily give my heart away; I rely on my mind instead. I tend to be logical and overly rational, putting my emotions aside, which makes falling in love challenging (this has been the case since my school days). I understand that love isn’t the only factor in a successful relationship; many elements contribute to its success. I have a tendency to overthink, and I genuinely fear heartbreak (I know, it sounds cliché, but it’s true). I’m afraid of relationships because I want something lasting, not temporary.
What am I supposed to do? I feel envious and sad when I see my friends in relationships, but those relationships often don’t endure. Yes, I’ve had crushes in the past, but they didn’t meet my standards, now I don’t have crushes.

Updates

1 y

Should I go out with someone older, younger (by 1 year), or of the same age?

Updates

1 y

I'm extrovert with everyone.💀But I like being alone too. It's kinda difficult to explain. I'm not a ambivert.

[sawno]

Ill assume the avatar is you and you fall in the category of girls with a lot of low quality supply so to speak. I think the reason its challenging is merely a numbers game, the guys are still young, see a hot girl and want to fuck. Older guys are more likely to have developed a personality where they care, but it remains a numbers game. Keep looking, perhaps initiate yourself if you notice that cute guy in the corner minding his own business. But don't let the ones hoping to get sex deter you.

Oh and small tip, don't dress to impress sexually. In your avatar you have a very seductive clothing choice, your pants are already unbuttoned and the top is very sexually inviting. That will attract the exact type of guys you want to avoid, and it may scare off the guys you want. Go for a simple look or ideally a look thats expressive about your personality. You want a conversation starter, not a boner starter. Wear something the guy you do want to attract can recognize, for example lets say you wanted a considerate geek. You'd wear something about your favorite franchise so he can recognize you have something in common. The players will use the opportunity to but will easily fall flat if they know nothing about it.

[Asker]

That's pinterest pic not my pic. Why will I share my pic here lol

[Asker]

I'm new here lol

[sawno]

Then the advice only applies if your similarly attractive.

[Asker]

Oo thanks for the idea , I like it. Tell me more :)

[Asker]

Here's my pic lol

[sawno]

Alright so the boner starter advice of the downloaded girl doesn't apply as strongly. You have a much more conservative style. You come across with a more gentle cuter vibe in this one which is good. Part of the advice still applies, your attractive enough to where you will get guys approaching just to get sex so it remains a numbers game. This is especially an age thing the guys your age have not grown up yet. What are you doing to either approach or be approachable by the guys you do want?

[Asker]

Many guys my age haven't matured yet I agree. Older men can be quite manipulative. From what I've observed, older guys often date younger women just for amusement or to pass the time, and once they’re done, they tend to marry someone closer to their own age :/ which seems really unfair. I don't understand why they wouldn't want to marry a young girl who is also mature.

There are two categories of older men - the dull ones (who aren't my type) looking for a serious relationship, and the fun-loving cool guys (who can be introverted as well) who are just interested in casual dating. In the end, they usually choose to settle down with someone their own age.

As for me, I'm extroverted, friendly, loyal, career-focused, and family-oriented. I believe I possess all the qualities that someone would seek in a wife. I consider myself to be wifey material, so I'm hoping to find a husband material kind of person.
🤦🏻💀Being single is worst 💀when everyone is dating or marrying

[DryGermanGuy]

I honestly doubt that many college aged people have marriage or even dating-to-marry on their mind. There aren’t exactly many hard rules and regulations that apply, just „go with the flow“. 🤔

[firenine909]

Well you can always do activities that you find fun with someone else. Go to events where sweeter guys are at where you don’t have to worry about judging them

[GAGsucksballs89170]

You're looking for something that you know is wrong.

You can't look for something long term, until you can have something AT LEAST short term. I'm not saying "just go out and hook up", but I'm sayin, you can't go out looking for god, when earth is right here, ya know?

[slatyb]

Do you actually talk to any of male classmates? If you are too shy to speak, they will assume you aren't interested.

[Asker]

Yess, coz I'm an extrovert but they aren't my type.
💀They are mostly in casual dating

[slatyb]

If they aren't your type, why do you want to date them?

[Asker]

I'm not dating them.
I want to date someone who is a husband material. That's why I asked this question and shared my pov

[slatyb]

Well it sounds like you'll have to go off campus. You realize that husbands first start as casual dates, right?

[Asker]

Exactly, thanks

[Anonymous]

Don't feel bad. It's hard for decent men as well as most women PREFER indecent men. Much like you men have to choose between not having standards or not dating.

[Rohaan2020]

I rlly can't believe u didn't get a guy yet... unless u have set your standards way too high

[wkhan_87]

Wait for right time,