Do you think dating someone with a different sex drive could ever work or they must be relatively equal?

Question

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

I myself am a hypersexual. I have had long term partners with different sex drives. I have had partners of low desire, average desire, and hyper.

From my own experience being with someone with a medium/average drive is doable. There would be just enough romantic interactions so not to feel deprived. We would have sex 1 to 2 times a week.

As a hypersexual and being with another hypersexual I can say that's fun! It's like constantly competing with each others to out go the other! The sex is mind blowing! The best part is there's never ever a sense of feeling ashamed of the hyper drive and never a sense of deprivation. The least sex we may have is every other day and at the most it could be 3 times a day. I once experienced a 14 plus hour marathon. It was 2 am when we realized we were experiencing symptoms of dehydration and low blood sugar. We had not stop to eat or drink.

Now as a hypersexual and having experience being with a partner with a low drive I must say it is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT. At times when denied the desire to be sexual with them can be so intense it actually becomes physically painful. I would even experience a migraine and nausea. At times my entire body will quake!

When sexual activity did occur with the partner of a low desire I might be left unsatisfied or perhaps I would reach orgasm once to 3x's and seem ok for the moment but 5 mins later my body may bounce back wanting another round. I think this occurs due to going so long without. With a partner of low desire I was lucky to have sex once a month. At the most twice. However at the worst it could be over a month to months without.

I honestly couldn't recommend to a hypersexual to date a person with a very low sex drive. The only way to hold the relationship together is to truly love the person and the person with the low drive must really fulfill their partners others needs. It is not easy. It can be a constant struggle.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Sometimes it’s good to have someone who has a slightly higher drive if you are a person with lower drive, however as a rule if one person’s is MUCH higher than another’s it can become overwhelming for the person with lower drive.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

From my experiences it doesn’t work , lack of intimacy and affection can easily kill a relationship because the partner that isn’t getting their wants and needs met , is going to end up frustrated and they more than likely will start resenting their partner for their lack of, especially if it was never an issue before, usually it isn’t an issue in the beginning of the relationship , but if it becomes an issue , then that relationship more that likely won’t last the long haul. Why couples should never consistently with hold intimacy and affection from their partner without a valid reason to do so. if a partner constantly gives lame excuses and denying their partner intimacy and affection , they should be surprised when their partner decides to leave them or cheat on them because sadly they dug their own grave by doing so.

molonski2 · Accepted Answer

Reasonably balanced is obviously best..

Interestingly women who have been drawn to me over the years have had super high sex drives , now , you may think as a male " Great awesome " , well that is initially but when you have a go about life , work , training , social events , sometimes it is pure and utter exhaustion , and if you don't meet those KPIs everyday you have trouble brewing..

Now , this could also work other way around of course.

Its a difficult balancing act , whichever way it goes.

MrOracle · Answer

They need to be reasonably close. From 1 to 10, they need to be no more than 2 apart. A 3 and a 5 could work, and a 6 and an 8 could work, but a 4 and a 7 are too far apart and it very likely wouldn't work long-term.

HawkPerception · Answer

Sexual compatibility is an important aspect in a relationship. If one person is always saying no to sex, then the other person builds up frustration and it can become toxic very quickly.

Summeroflove · Answer

Well that’s part of compatibility. If someone has different values and morals with regards to sex they probably aren’t meant to be. As well as leads to cheating and affairs later on.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

it's better to have matching sex drives, so no one is left unsatisfied :D

my first partner had higher sex drive than me in the beginning but he simply was focusing on me do much that I enjoyed it and with time started to match his sex drive and initiate :D

OneViewpoint · Answer

I’m a guy who married a woman with low - no sex drive. She was basically asexual. It was like having a child for a roommate. I will certainly never go down that road again.

You wanna wait? You’re not ready? You’re not sure? Jesus living rent free in your head? Bye. I’m looking for an adult. Guess I’m not the guy for you.

Apple1996 · Answer

Yeah it can definitely work. I have to be with someone with a lower sex drive since mine is super high so they calm me down a bit. Also my sex drive is so high like I've never met a man even close to it so if I had to find a man equal to me that would NEVER happen

BadApple69 · Answer

I don’t think it’s possible to find some one who’s sex drive will always match yours. There are so many factors that affect sex drive. Stress, work schedules, and if she gets pregnant hormonal changes will throw everything out of whack!
So I say why try to pick someone for the short time your sex drives are comparable? It won’t stay that way!

Screenwriter · Answer

How different? Everyone's sex drive is particular to them.

Is it a, she loves sex four times a week and he's only interested three times a month? So, how can they compromise?

Does the lower sex drive partner have a heavy work load that tires them out, or is this a longstanding disinterest in sex? Several factors to consider.

Seeing a sexual/relationship counselor could also help resolve the matter..

Blunky · Answer

Relatively equal. I'll adapt here and there obviously. Like if she has a lower drive, I make the times we do have sex more planned out and kind of make it an all day thing to make up for it. If she has a higher drive, which hasn't happened yet, I'd assume it almost becomes like a sport routine. But we still need to be pretty close in terms of drive. Guess there's other options like open relationships but that ain't for me.

mstbooblover · Answer

The ideal situation is both partners to have a similar sex drive. In case of a real difference, the relationship will not last, safe if the one with the highest sex drive compensates by masturbating and is happy that way.

The danger of a difference in sex drive is also for one of the partners searching satisfaction elsewhere. No need to rub it in, do I?

David318578 · Answer

Usually men have a higher sex drive then women, obviously that's a generalization and plenty of examples of the opposite, but the point is lots of relationships where the guy wants it more often then the woman work perfectly fine.

Now it depends on how low your sex drive is compared to his.

I'm assuming you have a lower drive then your partner? Or is it the other way around?

Samuel75 · Answer

Actually, everything boils down to understanding each other. It's true that your partner sex drive can be different from yours and sometimes it causes issues within the marraige but when there's a mutual understanding between the two even if one says he/she is not in the mood the other will understand to a certain degree and also the two should not deprive each other sex except for some reasons (medical or spiritual) and your partner should know about it.

Anonymous · Answer

It works out fine for the person with the lower libido because they control things, but it suck for the person with the higher drive unless he is lucky enough that the woman is very giving and accommodating despite her not always being in the mood.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Every man I have never been with in the past had a lower sex drive than me, and that did create some friction. You want to try to be as equal as possible.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Not getting enough sex could lead to cheating, so if her pussy can't handle the pounding... Letting me bang her friends isn't cheating because we agreed that it's okay.

MisterWack · Answer

If you can compromise and work things out sexually in a consensual, safe, and appropriate manner where communication is key then yes it can totally work out.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I think it will be a challenge  Both parites could put in the effort to do and not to do But it’s easier if the drive is similar from the start

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It probably would not work. ... HOWEVER, I think that most people have NO IDEA what level of sex drive another person has. In fact, most people don't even understand their OWN sex drive!

AgentG111 · Answer

Nope not at all. Unless the one that's overly sexually driven figures a way around it or the other side somehow helps in the area, it's bound to end very quickly or opening a relationship up to others for satisfaction.

NicholasRedone · Answer

Gotta be equal to my brain 🧠 🧠 🧠 😂 😆 bed squeaking and bed creaking  And bed rocking 🪨 lol 😋 🛏️ 😂 😂

Anonymous · Answer

Depends. If the woman has the higher sex drive no. If it's the man the woman can very easily satisfy him.

DrPepper12 · Answer

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 it's very difficult but not impossible. DISCUSS this as well as avenues of relief like porn or masturbation. Just Be wide-eyed and on the same page.

nawtee_me · Answer

Relationships are about compromise and sex drive is just another area where it takes place. One will have a little more sex and one a little less sex but you meet in the middle so neither one feels unsatisfied.

Ladsin2 · Answer

How do you think any marriage has ever been able to work? Male libido is significantly higher than most any women's. If a discrepancy in desire for sex made it so that relationships wouldn't work we wouldn't exist.

Oldschool1981 · Answer

My wife has a huge sex drive, so I'm willing to look the other way. By her own estimates, she's been with at least 300 guys since we married

Joshydavid25 · Answer

Yes, that's what love is for.. Women in a lot of marriages sex drives become lower than their husbands and a lot of them still stay marriage..

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes. I do not make sex a high priority unless she does. If she's once per week, fine. If she's thrice per day, fine. I can about shared interests and the type of person she is.

slatyb · Answer

It could work but it requires open discussion about both partners will meet their needs.

HungTexan · Answer

As long as it doesn’t create a problem, it’s probably ok. Everyone is different.

soe11 · Answer

I like someone to be equally with me. Thankfully my girlfriend is my desires and I am her desires.

Anonymous · Answer

It probably needs to be equal. At least in the beginning. I mean wouldn't you as woman feel slighted in some way if he kept turning down sexy time with you. I think most guys would take it as a slight (within reason).

Blueeyes81 · Answer

It rarely works. The higher sex drive will turn to something else (porn or another person) to fulfill there needs.

Beachbummama84 · Answer

I think this is critical in 40 my sex drive is high right now I want a guy who can match me I don’t want to be begging for it

Uglygaypoorcoward94 · Answer

If he is a high value man you should expect cheating. Just know those guys are too valuable to lose so you'll learn to deal with sharing.

Eempriyanka · Answer

You mean when your partner has mood to have sex, but you don't? How's that possible?

GAGsucksballs89170 · Answer

You can improve sexual chemisty, butttt, at that point, why would you force it on someone?

foxsquirrell · Answer

I think that have to be relatively equal. Or I'll equalize it with others whenever I find the chance.

Kelly6 · Answer

Not it can’t work , it will lead to cheating

Anonymous · Answer

That would be difficult once you get to the point where you’re having sex regularly

robocop666 · Answer

most men who see hookers are married men who's wives aren't giving them any

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That would work for me believe me I tried it was frustrating on every level

Despina6 · Answer

No, cause someone is getting cheated on. I saw this with neighbors.

Anonymous · Answer

Generally men have higher drives And women are okay with that

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah it can work just fine. Just be respectful.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Relatively equal.

Nerdvana · Answer

It hasn't work for me.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

It helps if they’re equal, or at least willing

masterSir · Answer

It helps that they would be equal.

PaleDale · Answer

Compromise if u luv each other

blackeagle007 · Answer

In what aspects?

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it can work out.

QuestionObsession · Answer

Equal or more

Do you think dating someone with a different sex drive could ever work or they must be relatively equal?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel dating the opposite sex with a great personality but sex is not important to them?

Do you think dating someone with a different sex drive could ever work or they must be relatively equal?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

How would you feel dating the opposite sex with a great personality but sex is not important to them?

We're glad to see you liked this post.