How to not be awkward in dating?

[Simslover92]

I think I'm not a great conversationalist. Like I'll bring up a topic, but I won't know how to transition the topic or shift the topic into something else. I can be very awkward because I wasn't social throughout most of high school and very briefly was social in college but not enough to change my awkward ways.

I'm talking to this guy now and let's just say it's sort of flowing but sort of not because unlike my bestie who is a great conversationalist, I don't have those social skills she's honed over the years to talk to people especially guys.

What would you recommend?

[SteveSmith1985]

I only know you from what I see online, and I know much of that isn't "in the moment" conversation, but rather something you've had time to think about (like this question description).

I will be honest, I was a little surprised to hear that you don't consider yourself a good conversationalist. (I've always enjoy reading anything you write)

I don't know how much difficulty you're having with the flow of conversation with this guy. But a certain amount of that is totally normal. Everyone (most of the time) feels that way at first. It depends how long you've been talking. Early on though, this is not abnormal.

There really is no secret to not being awkward, aside from trying to be yourself as much as possible. The only reason dating is awkward, is because each person tries to impress the other person. People do not feel free to be themselves for fear of what the other person might think.

The awkwardness on any date or between any couple only goes away once people relax and feel free to be themselves more, without worrying what the other person might think. They start to get comfortable and relax. That does take some time though.

[Summeroflove]

Just accept first dates can be awkward and that’s okay, especially if you’re just getting to know somebody. Just communicate with him that you’re interested but maybe have some struggles keeping the flow going, at the end of the day if you start getting to know him better I’m sure conversations will begin to flow easier between you two.

[DishLady]

A lot of people are shy or awkward. It doesn’t mean that you’re poor conversationalists, it just means you find breaking the ice with a “stranger” a challenge. I’m sure when you know someone you chat way more and have no problems right? Perfectly normal.


When I know I’m going to meet someone new (or chat with someone I don't know well) I try to brush up on a few general topics of common interest that way we have some general stuff to talk about. While you’re talking take cues from the person to direct your next comment, then the next, till you’ve shifted to topics that actually interest you both. (If the convo is still stale after that then possibly the other person isn’t interesting or isn’t into you.)

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I'll make a note of that!

[IslaTheWitch]

be yourself... if a guy likes you as you are... it's already a win :D

you can practice conversations with your friends or observe them and learn their ways...

the therapy for autistic people offers social skills training, check it out, maybe it's something interesting for you

[ohsheeT]

Ever thing in life is Awkward until you get the hang of it. I guess it's practice. Until you fined the one you click with.

[bowenw]

Just be yourself. I think you are being hard on yourself. You seem to be a very good conversationalist yourself. If someone is into a particular topic, sometimes you just have to let them finish talking.

[Simslover92]

Thank you!

[bowenw]

Hopefully they won't dominate the conversation and will do their part to include you and ask you questions.

[Simslover92]

Yes, hopefully so!

[D_Bone_Steak]

Just show up to the date... gonna get coffee... with your dick out and no shirt on.

:/ oh wait you're a girl.

Be nice and appreciate what he's doing for you.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Being awkward on dates is just part of life lol then you find someone who will be just as awkward as you

[Simslover92]

Haha thanks

[WhitneySnow]

If it’s sort of flowing, just keep doing what you’re doing. I think he’s interested in you.

[Simslover92]

Thanks. I think so too. He wants to watch a football game with me since I told him I like football.

[WhitneySnow]

Cool! Good luck ☺️

[Simslover92]

Thank you! 😊

[KittygosMeoWW]

Bahaha same! I have convos with guys that hit me up and we’ll stay texting on the same subject and I’m like how do I switch. I don't know if I’m awkward oh well I’m kind of bored with the talking/dating scene there’s no magic 😅

[Simslover92]

Haha yep

[Nikki1989]

Show that you're paying attention by asking follow-up questions related to his responses. That will keep the conversation going.

[Bricealan]

@Simslover92 You don't have to be a 'great' conversationalist to talk to guys. Just be yourself

[msc545]

When things seem a little strained - ask questions and let him respond...

[Simslover92]

Ok I can do that. Thanks.

[msc545]

👍❤ !

[jahaims]

I recommend not over thinking. Don't try to deviate from yourself to come off as more normal. Find a guy interested in you and not what you are going to pretend to be.

[Anonymous]

Stop caring. That's how I did it. I operate from the assumption it's never going to work out anyways so there's no point in getting worked up about anything.

[PeterLegg91]

Just move on to another topic and you'll get better at it

[rebelkid]

My advice to you is to bring up topics that you truly are interested in. So this way you will be speaking naturally regarding those specific topics.

[Anonymous]

I wonder the same, cause I actually never had a date in my life.

[Lynx122]

You just gotta keep trying :)

[PaleDale]

It's often awkward, but worth it 😊