How do you date somebody with dwarfism?

[Anonymous]

What is it like to date a girl with dwarfism, specifically pituitary dwarfism. I’ve known her for quite a while, and I’m curious as to if dwarfism would affect dating. She is around 3‘8“ tall, but she has a huge heart. When it comes to holding hands when we’re out and about, how exactly would one go about this comfortably? The same thing goes for hugging/kissing. When we go in for a hug or a kiss, what is the best way to go about this? Like I said, she is super sweet, but I’m not too familiar with the dwarfism and I would just like some pointers

[SteveSmith1985]

I can answer this easily. I have never dated anyone with dwarfism.

The answer to your question is: you two communicating, trying it this way vs that way... but you figure out all the logistics about hugging and holding hands and everything else TOGETHER.

I can totally appreciate where your coming from. But I don't think dwarfism should affect dating in any substatial way. It would be crazy to let it hold you back from asking her out (I"m unclear as to whether you're already dating or if you just want to).

I think either way, you let her guide you. I"m sure she's figured some of this shit out in the past already. She is aware she's a dwarf. It's fair you have questions about all of this. Don't be afraid to ask her. That's perfectly fine, and she won't (shouldn't) have any problem with that.

If you like her and she's got a big heart... you'll figure the rest out. Don't even stress about it. Go for it, just ask her as things come up.

.🙂

[Asker]

I’m sorry. There was a little confusion in my post. We are going on our second official date, hoping to get a little more romantic if you know what I mean… I’m nervous that I would ruin the moment when I pick her up at her place and I go in for a hug when we’re both standing at the door… Or when I drop her off and we’re both standing on the front porch, I was hoping to go in for a kiss and a hug both, how would you personally do this? I really am nervous that I would screw up the moment by asking in some awkward way.

[SteveSmith1985]

Hmm... personally I would have tried to talk to her on the first date about some of the more basic ones like hand holding or hugging. (simply because I would have the same questions you have, and that's the only way to get them answered).

Since that's not an option. I'm still going to suggest asking her. How are things with talking between dates? Are you guys messaging each other or texting or whatever? If you are, I would still definitely ask her about the innocent ones.

Your worries are legitimate, and I can't see her being offended at all, if you ask her. Be up front, tell he shit like "I'm nervous about ruining the moment if I go in for a hug and end up bungling it and making it awkward"

She will find it cute. She's not thinking about the fact that you might have these worries. She'll find it a good thing when you ask. It show you're thinking about these sorts of things (which helps her know you're interested in her, or at least thinking about your next date).

That is what I would do. Nobody else can help you navigate this. It will indeed be awkward if you just do your best. Ask her when you're talking already.

[Asker]

We do message each other quite a lot. These might be questions better ask in person though. Just my opinion. I’m just really nervous about our next date.

[SteveSmith1985]

You can certainly ask her in person if you're more comfortable doing that. The problem with that is that none of your questions will be answered before your next date. Otherwise its just as good.

So it's a matter of what's worse. Some very probably awkward moments until you get to ask her mid-date.

or

Asking her over messaging.

THe other advantage to asking her over messaging is... it's a question that should hopefully bring you two closer. JUst because you're talking about something rather personal to her and something which is beyond the comfort level you two are at right now (which is why you're hesitant to)

But it really is up to you. Whatever is best. You're gonna have to suck-it-up and deal with some awkwardness either way. Asking her over text; or trying to give a hug without having this figured out. You have some awkward moment coming in the near future. Which is worse to you?

[Asker]

you’re right, it might be a good idea to shoot her a text. I’m sure you’re going to have enough awkward moments in the beginning 😀. We are planning on marriage, and of course we’re just in the beginning stage, so it’s always good to sort of get the stuff out in the open

[SteveSmith1985]

No wait. Don't shoot her a text. Chat with her over text. During the conversation bring it up. I agree that it might be a little awkward to shoot off a text saying "hey, by the way how do I hug you given our height difference?"

Even I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. Have a conversation and insert it at some point. Unless you already sent the text in which case... no harm done. You'll still hopefully get your answer

[Zack-Bann]

I have wondered about that one myself


I feel like more and more people with dwarfism are gaining notoriety as charming and attractive compared to before when dating one might have sounded weird
Which is great of course


I think you should come at this with an open mind and open dialogue to see what she likes or dislikes


She knows that you’re not used to this so she won’t expect you to come in as an expert


Just don’t make it weird and you’ll be fine

[_Maya_]

Why would her height effect dating? You were once a child yes? You held the hand of a parent that was much bigger than you. Do you see what I'm getting at here. You are over thinking this by a lot. That and do you not think she knows how to make physical adjustments in her life? She is likely used to having do so with people so dont worry about anything. She will adjust as she has to do or has done her entire life. I sincerely hope this isn't a fetish question and a honest one. She has dealt with physical limitations all her life. She knows how to deal with things. You aren't going to get a whole lot of pointers because this community is small and the likelihood that anyone has dated someone with this physical condition that is quite rare is low.

[Asker]

Yes I was a child of course, but none of us are, she isn’t either. We were going to go out to a restaurant for a date night, typically we are just at each other’s place of residence. I’m just not sure how to go about hugging/kissing, and when I hold her hand I want to be sure it is not awkward or anything like that.

[_Maya_]

You are severely missing my point. What is your figure out in holding her hand, giving a hug or kissing?

[Asker]

what is your point? What I’m saying is that when I give her a hug, or go in to give her a kiss, I’m a lot taller than she is because of her dwarfism. when we hold hands, her hands are several size smaller than mine. Given that we are both adults here, do I offer her my finger is to hold? do I pick her up when we kiss/hug, or do I bend down to her level?

[_Maya_]

You are clearly not genuine in your question. Here you indicate that you have never gone on a date. Yet here:

What is marriage like when your partner has a dwarfism? ↗

You have a fetish and all you are doing is trolling.

[Asker]

Sorry. What I said was correct. Me and her are going on our second date night this is the second official date., and the first date when we are going out to dinner, in fact after I made this post we also were planning to go watch a movie at a theater

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[chrissykerdock]

rent a hot air balloon and go to the wizard of oz

[In_Trance]

Fuck around and find out