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I talked to a guy who was an a hole towards me but I found out he was into trans/ non binary and I guess women too and it upset me and broke my heart as someone who is already insecure…
but the bottom line is he deeply desires to be with trans women and it hurt me to my core because 1. I’m not trans 2. I wasn’t who he really wanted 3. I felt used.. I felt like I was collateral
I think it’s emotional for me and I was depressed about it for a year because I pined for him and I think that’s why it’s hard for him to genuinely commit at 38 years old…
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
It is a hard thing to be rejected. I am sorry you were. I think he wasn't sure about his desires and hoped you would or could fulfil them and it's good that he's not led you on to an even deeper heartbreak.
Try not to dwell on this mishap and see what positives you can take from the time you spent and make a resolution to be positive about the next year of finding yourself and if someone comes along who ticks a lot of boxes for you then make it clear BEFORE getting serious that these are boxes you WANT ticked often.
I hate him personally because I felt he was the one for me… he was a bit harsh and he ghosted
I feel inadequate compared to trans women and I hate myself for how cold he is with me…
I got into sex work to feel better. It really impacted me
The way he went about things with you might be what you're fixating on. He treated you cruelly and you are a sensitive soul that has been scarred by this. It's going to heal and I hope for you soon.
Do you think sex work is the rewarding kind of lifestyle that will make this feeling of inadequacy go away?
It's maybe a coping mechanism to give you a sense of being wanted because you're placing your self esteem in HIS hands.
He doesn't deserve this from you. You deserve to love yourself first and foremost then you can give your love to someone who deserves it and become happy with each other.
Yes sex work is definitely a coping mechanism for me right now because I absolutely can’t convince myself that I’m worthy.. and he isn’t the only guy who has picked someone over me but with him I felt safe in the beginning emotionally and he wanted to know how he could help me feel safe and that meant so much.. but he really just wanted sex … he’s 38 in 27… I just got attached so quickly because I genuinely thought he had husband qualities… it was my fault but I never had that experience.. especially being 27 with no boyfriend experience…
He did give me half hearted closure but after a year my feelings and heart still aches… I became angry and my anger turned into me harassing him and trying to embarrass him now I’m in a legal matter with him… but I apologized and just told him that I felt wronged by him and borderline coerced… even though we didn’t have sex…
I feel for you. You are a beautiful soul.
You seem to know you very well and this treatment has devastating impacts on your self esteem and that may take time to heel from.
in my opinion, I'm no expert, but I think the sex work isn't going to be good for you. Your body being used to pleasure others won't make you go through the healing easily. To learn to love yourself better to climb from this hole he dropped you in.
Letting it go will be good for you if you are able to put this behind you and seek to find yourself without the validation from others to build your self worth up.
I hope this can be a space for you to find something to grasp to lift yourself out of where you are.
DM if you want to chat
I don't think you should rush things.
What do you mean?