Why do men speak more softly to women?

[nastyb]

[SteveSmith1985]

Because we're not going to fight a woman. When talking to other men, it's important that a man project his masculinity through the voice. It's how other guys know he's manly.

When talking to women, men project their masculinity through the eyes. It's how a woman knows we're interested. This leaves men speaking more softly when speaking to women. (just joking. all of it)

I think it's actually the same reason men look at women with a softer facial expression. It's subconscious. And the reasons... are all the reasons a man sees a woman differently than he sees other men. There's just something about you ladies (a lot actually) that has those subconscious effects on guys

🙂

[nastyb]

why do guys try so hard to be manly in front of other men?

[SteveSmith1985]

Have you ever tried to tell a joke and have it backfire?

So, I wrote all but the last "paragraph" as a joke. (not like a funny joke, more like an slightly amusing one.)

I never do that. Ever. I've never done that before. But I decided it was a good idea to try and be funny today. It was a mistake. I'm glad you asked this.

So the stuff about men projecting their manliness... all of that was total bullshit. It is not at all true, I was amused by the idea that somebody might think something so silly. Please disregard everything but the final paragraph (which, I admit... isn't one of my best answers.).

So most guys don't really try to be manly in front of other men. It's just men... being the way they are around other men. Until they get into certain situations. Then it's just monkey-brained instinct. Sports are a good example.

It's just what happens when guys are in some (usually competitive) situations. (how many dudes have fought over ridiculous shit. Now look at that historically. Dueling?).

The guys who seem to need to try hard to seem more manly around other guys (bullies, guys who brag about their sexual conquests, ones who seem to care a little too much that nobody question their masculinity... that shit's all straight insecurity.

That does not apply to talking softly to women compared to men. (As much as this is a phenomenon. at all. I've never noticed this was the case, but I'll take your word for it.).

[SteveSmith1985]

It comes down to men feeling differently about women, then they do other men. It comes down to sex at the end of the day. But that's not at all conscious.

It's the same way a guy can cuddle with a female friend watching a movie, but not a male friend. The reason a guy DOES look more softly and smile more when talking to a woman rather than another guy.

I think it is because men allow themselves to show a vulnerability with women that they cannot/don't feel comfortable showing other men. No matter how close a male friend may be. (as part of the whole biology/sex thing).

It's the instinct that lets the cave-woman become attracted to the otherwise "guarded/tough/aggressive./violent cave , man. Same with today.

My closest connections have been with female friends for exactly this reason (I think).

In high school, one of my best friends became the girlfriend of the neighborhood drug dealer. I've known this guy as an acquaintance since I was a little kid. He's always been an asshole. Just a violent, tough guy asshole. We used to talk shit about this dude together... before she got together with him.

It was an eye opening experience. This dude was the epitome of a guy who acted hard. But he wasn't all talk by any means. He's a guy who people are nervous around. Anyway, from her side, I heard the craziest most surprising details. He was actually really really sweet with her. Like genuinely. She saw this side of him that was night and day different from the dude I'd known (to some extent) my whole life.

I can't say the exact reason in words, but that illustrates why men would have that instinct towards being more tender, gentle kind when talking to a woman as opposed to talking to another man.

(no more jokes for me. Sorry about that!)

🙂

[Summeroflove]

It depends on the man but some people may do it to appear less threatening. Sometimes people who have a really gruff voice use a softer voice or use terms of endearment like “honey” and “man” and “brother” because many people mistake their voice as being angry even if they aren’t angry.

[nastyb]

yea i notice how men always talk in deeper voice to other men. Sometimes it just sounds unfriendly or like they are trying to scare each other

[Summeroflove]

It’s possible that’s what they’re doing. Sometimes it’s like how people talk to a child. If a man’s bigger and stronger then a woman maybe he feels like he’s making her feel safe.

[Zack-Bann]

Because when we were kids we probably spoke to a girl in a loud and masculine manner and she didn’t like it


So we learned and got used to speaking to women in a much more controlled and soft tone which isn’t our default state when talking to a guy

[NicholasRedone]

@nastyb hell I talk to everyone the same - lol. Sometimes I'll joke in my head "hey, oi" or even "oi" lol 😆 - rudely

[Joshydavid25]

Men usually treat women more differently than they treat men.. More generally more gently..

[sirderpsalot123]

Because we don't want to make women uncomfortable

[Anonymous]

You rather he ask you, "how's it hanging bro"?

[darkwing91]

I speak to me and women just the same

[MasterKS]

Its an apple polish. LOL

[Anonymous]

Probably don’t wanna come across as abrupt.

[Smile456]

Tenderness

[PaleDale]

Out of respect