If he knows I’m celibate what does he want out of a couple dates?

Question

A guy I know who I’ve texted back and forth with for a couple months wants to go on a couple dates… he’s my type and we both have kids but he’s leaving for basic training in a couple months. What’s the point if he’s going to be gone half a year.

SteveSmith1985 · Accepted Answer

I think that's a perfectly valid question you're asking. I think it's totally fair to ask him that directly.

It suggests he's interested in you for something long-term and substantial. But if he's leaving for a year and a half? That doesn't add up.

He could just genuinely want some company, but I would have my guard up about this too if I were in your shoes.

What do YOU want out of a couple of dates? It may not make much sense for him to want these dates, but to me, it makes way less sense why you'd take a chance on having a bad night, if this guy doesn't just want some non-sexual company.

It is weird.

If you're looking for suggestions, mine is:

Don't go unless he gives you a satisfactory answer to this; AND everything feels perfectly fine to your intuition. If it feels a bit off still, don't go. This is weird.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

0 well let's see. First of all your beautiful. Your funny You're straight to the point. You have a good personality.
In your own way, you're smart a**Flirty girl which goes up into the beautiful column
You're probably a good friend and somebody that anybody would Like to be around

So that's the first part of it

Now in his head Even though it's basic training he feels like he's going off to war and he might not ever come back

So before he leaves he's thinking about all kinds of things I mean, what happens if the sergeant sends him to McDonald's on the secret mission and something happens. On his head he would never see you again

So you know what's going through his head. And your just a good person so he's got to try

KBird · Accepted Answer

Maybe he wants to get to know you better, and let you know that he would like to have something with you, but knows he's going away for a while. I think going on a couple dates isn't a bad thing. He might be trying to feel out if he wants to be with you in a romantic way before he goes away.

But then again, he might be interested in something else? I would ask him point blank what his intentions are, and keep your guard up if you do go on a date. But also, have a fun time out just for you.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

6 months isn't very long to wait until he returns. Of course he wants to get to know you better before he leaves. That makes perfect sense to me.

And after he leaves are you going to continue to contact each other by text and/or email?

Finchie40 · Answer

He probably thinks he can get you to change your mind and get you naked

Fireguy17 · Answer

your company, maybe he isn't into having random sex, someone to talk to, becoming a friend.
FYI not every guy on the planet wants to have sex with you. Over 18 months you can get to know each other, maybe find that you have a lot in common, and see where it goes.
you can never have too many friends.

DJB72 · Answer

I got engaged knowing my girl was going to be returning to South Africa and neither of us had plans to permanently emigrate. At least you know he'll be back in a fixed time.

Maybe he wants to see if there's potential for something worth waiting for beyond friendship. What's the harm in finding out?

One thing a long distance relationship will force you to do is communicate and genuinely get to know each other before you decide about marriage. And trust me, if you can survive over a year apart before you get married the foundation you build together will be unbreakable.

My wife and I were apart 15 months before I managed to sell up and move and we had 21 years together married before she passed away six months ago. (23 total) It wasn't easy, but I don't regret it for a second.

wynning · Answer

If you're not too gone on it, then I would probably hold off. It may be that he wants someone around waiting when he comes back or someone to see when he's off. What do you think? I think it'd be best to not lead each other on though in any case.

Sunrising · Answer

I've taken females out without sex on my mind, well once or twice!

Is a kiss and a cuddle allowable?

Perhaps in 6 months time you might think differently, if the roles were reversed I'd go on the dates.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Maybe he's not in it for the sex maybe he like you and just wants your companionship he just wants to be in your presence. I can see that after all you seem pretty cool. If you tell anybody I used the C word to describe you I swear I'll deny it😉😉😉😉

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I think an important question here that should've been information above would be if you have history with this guy? Because if it's not someone you know too well then it can change people's answers to your question.

genericname85 · Answer

He's basically gonna date a few times just to see if you're "actually" celebate or if you're just trying to act as if you're high value. If he realizes you are actually celibate, he's gonna drop you liike a hot potato.

Jay-_- · Answer

Either he wants to waste time or wants motivation to get him through. Or he's not thinking.

Surely · Answer

Possibly he is more interested in what is between your ears. Then what is between your legs. Unless you know otherwise. He might only be expecting a nice time. With interesting conversations.

beebella · Answer

He probably wants to have somebody waiting for him while he's gone. Lmao

exitseven · Answer

Sounds like it could be something that you might start but will not be able to finish.

LiamJHayden · Answer

If you are celibate anyway, then maybe he hopes to build the foundation for an eventual marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

If you're celibate, why are you dating (according to the bible)

nawtee_me · Answer

He might just want your good company. Someone to write to while he is gone…,

rebelkid · Answer

Just make it happen. You have nothing to lose. Whom knows…. maybe sparks will start to fly and you just sy get married on your second date.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

Maybe he wants a friendship while he's away

DrPepper12 · Answer

No point. Don't do it

Iron_Man · Answer

he’ll have to see you on his vacation time

TallAnon · Answer

The same thing, celibacy isn't his problem

PrettyCrumblBb · Answer

Maybe he feels lonely and wants company?

In_Trance · Answer

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If he knows I’m celibate what does he want out of a couple dates?

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