What does this married guy want from me?

[Anonymous]

My boss is married and so am i but there is deff an attraction between us. I plan on ignoring it but i feel he is trying to push for something more.

I dont want to cut our friendship off though if im wrong so please look at the list below and let me know beacause they all point to different things!

- he flirts with me/ talks to me constantly

- he compliments me on my hair and appearance.

- he messages me non work things when he is on vacation with his family. Asking what im up to etc and sending photos of the beach.

- he mentions is wife a lot, always on possitive terms though.

- I said he looked cute in a photo once but he got all awkward about it (if he was into me, surely he wouldn't be?)

-he asks me personal quesions a lot. About my husband etc and what my favourate things are.

Is he just being nice?

Wants to be your friend

Looking for something more

[Finchie40]

It sounds like he wouldn’t mind having sex with you, but he knows he can’t come out and ask you upfront since you work together and you are both married , but I guarantee if you made a move on him , he wouldn’t resist and would more than likely have sex with you. Work affairs are pretty common , but if you love your husband and want to continue being married to him , you are best to distance yourself from your boss and realize it’s not worth it , and that what you are doing is wrong period because how would you feel if your husband was doing this to you behind your back? So for love to grow and for a marriage to survive you are best to not pursue your boss what so ever , You are probably just attracted to his status of being a boss , take him out of the boss role and put him in a janitor outfit and you probably wouldn’t be so tempted , I am a boss as well and this type of stuff happened to me as well with female co workers , I did end up having sex with one of them and I wish I never did it because she was married but she kept coming on to me to the point I said fuck it and just banged her and remained friends , she is still with her husband and I feel like such an asshole for not resisting temptation. The sex was amazing but the reality of it all isn’t , knowing she cheated on her husband to be with me is pretty messed up and I realized I could never be with a girl like that because who’s to say she wouldn’t eventually do that to me if her and I ended up together?

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer! Do you feel like you were giving her signs that you were interested for her to keep pushing? Maybe i need to actualy just say something, or would that be awkward?

[spartan55]

You know exactly what's going on. Stop acting we are all stupid. How about stop playing grab ass with married men? So gross.

[Flower7]

It doesn’t matter what he wants from you. You’re both married. You shouldn’t even be putting effort into analyzing his behavior. Thinking so much about this is just a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

You know what he wants and you are egging it on.

[Asker]

Im honestly unsure. It sounds like he has such a good relationship with his wife, he mentions her a lot. This is what makes me think he just wants friendship

[Anemone978]

This is going further than friends and the fact you don't want to meet his partner and don't want him to meet yours (as someone suggested a double date) shows you want to cheat with him.. stop questioning the BS and stop being his friend.. There is no excuse you are both married.. get over it.. or I don't know.. maybe get your husbands two cents on what he thinks about it..

[BarryLiverstone]

He wants to be your friend. Why not ask him and his partner out for dinner with your partner?

[Asker]

I dont think I want to mix work and home life like that. I think I've just never had a boss be really nice. And i think its totally odd to message an employee outside of working hours, something non work related. Do you not think?

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s not odd as work and home are blending post Covid. But you answered this yourself. If you don’t want to mix home and work then don’t pursue a friendship with him. Not like you have a crush right?

[In_Trance]

Stop interacting with married men

[Asker]

he's my boss, i can't just ignore him.

[In_Trance]

As long as you create roadblocks in your own mind you're going to keep doing this dumb shit. Keep your conversations professional and end it when they turn otherwise