Guys, What would cause a man to disrespect one woman's boundaries but respect the boundaries of a different woman?

Question

Asking in regards to recent behavior I observed. Noticed a guy treating his ex-girlfriend (very smart, well-educated, accomplished, attractive woman in early 30s) with utmost kindness and respect throughout their relationship, even after they broke up (he was the one who initiated the breakup). He always respected the boundaries that she communicated to him and never challenged them.

However, observed the same guy acting sleazy numerous times towards another woman of very similar background, appearance, and personality - only exception is less degrees and less accomplished than the ex-girlfriend, but still holds impressive credentials in her own right. Also late 20s instead of early 30s. This woman is married and pregnant. He has repeatedly disrespected her boundaries and made lewd, inappropriate comments towards her.

What would cause this discrepancy in behavior? Since he is broken up with the first woman, I assume he does not want or need anything from her that would warrant treating her with more respect. Given the second woman is married and pregnant, not sure what he would want from her either.

BoopBoopBeep · Accepted Answer

I don't know any man that cares about your degrees or credentials outside of academia. I still respect my exes even though we broke up. They were important to me, played a big role in my life, no reason to crap on them because it didn't work out.

I think you're seeing this as a false dichotomy. He's not treating one better than the other due to some inherent variable one possesses that the other does not because "I like redheads not blondes." There's no correlation between how I treat the next man I see walking down the street and the hobo that tried to lift my wallet. Why did I yell at one and not the other? Totally different circumstances. I yelled at this guy because he's a POS but it has nothing to do with the other guy. Given that new framing, if it's ONLY that one woman he acts that way towards, it truly has nothing to do with his ex, lest he'd act the same way to ALL other women. Have you observed him with a third woman? How'd he treat her? We need to know if the ex is the outlier or if the second woman is the outlier for predicting behavioral patterns. We're missing some variables here. Once we figure out what those are, maybe we can sculpt a better hypothesis.

inhua · Accepted Answer

perhaps for the same reason why some women treat their more attractive ex-boyfriends much better than their less attractive current boyfriends

are both two women really that similar to all aspects? his difference of treatment would mean there's a glaring difference between the two women

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's a respect thing. What causes you to respect one person but not another?

strateguy632 · Answer

he acted sleazy for flirting with strangers in contrast to the one who he already knows.

slatyb · Answer

The other woman doesn't tolerate people who violate her boundaries.

Anonymous · Answer

Her level of dignity and self respect. If a girl presents herself as a hoe or a parasite gold digger, she won’t get respect.

Avicenna · Answer

Bad character- figured he could get away with it

Iron_Man · Answer

I’m not sure maybe betrayal

Anonymous · Answer

😆😆😆

Guys, What would cause a man to disrespect one woman's boundaries but respect the boundaries of a different woman?

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