He always contacts me first as he's busy but he hasn't contacted me in a week, should I contact him to find out what's going on?

[Anonymous]

just send a have I done something to you message? We generally only do message once a week to meet up but it's been radio silence and not even checked in to see if I was OK as I'd posted I'd been ill. He's posted 2 videos online and I've seen when he's been online.

Is that desperate or will I just ghost on him when he does get back in contact because I generally don't like being treated like nothing esp when we had sex last week and got no follow up but a 'lol' to my text of 'im exhausted'.

I'm actually embarrassed to ask this question, I'm so clueless when it comes to men and don't want to seem needy.

[Screenwriter]

Sounds like this guy is a sex partner, friends with benefits, and nothing else, and it's on HIS terms and he's not interested in anything else.

This is likely why he's no longer married. He's incapable of much more. He invited you to his wedding!!! His booty call woman? What is wrong with him!

Find someone who you don't have to cut off, have him beg to see you (for sex, nothing more) again, you reconnect, and it's more of the same old shit.

You're right. He's too old for such behavior. Stop wasting your time.

[EmmaMary]

For fuck's sake Grow Up... Phone him up and use the tongue in your head by talking to him... Fucking Simples,

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[SteveSmith1985]

I think it's totally fine to send that message. That doesn't make you seem needy. This is not an embarrassing question. At all. 🙂

[ımthehunter]

Why anybody didn't answer this, you need help with others girl

[spartan55]

Sounds like a great dude you chose. You are free sex to him, nothing else. Why would he want anything else from you?

[MrChinaski]

If your question is ever 'should I ghost him' the answer is almost always no... outside of domestic violence situations.

Call the guy.

[Asker]

He has his child today I saw he posted videos but hasn't found time to message me a hi all week.

[MrChinaski]

Frankie Say Relax. It will either sort out in your favour, or not. Either way stressing about it is not going to change the outcome. Call him at a convenient time.

[Asker]

it's my birthday tomorrow if I don't get as much as 1 text he's gone, I was nice to send him a message last month on his 40th.. It be nice to show he at least cared a fuck

[MrChinaski]

I feel you. Try not to make rash decisions, is all I'm saying.

Also, happy birthday, friend.

[Asker]

I just don't want him taking me for a fool. He keeps my panties in his dressing gown as he says it's to keep me close!! not close enough tho

[MrChinaski]

You seem like a nice person. What will be will be. On first blush, given the tiny insight into your life I have gleaned from this thread, it does not sound as though it will be difficult for you to find an alternative partner if that is what you desire.

[Asker]

Well I got my answer, he was online and completely ignored my message

[MrChinaski]

I hate telling people what to do, but: talk to him. Online stuff doesn't mean shit.

[Asker]

He's not my boyfriend so I'd feel silly calling him but he's hardly going to pick up phone if he's not bothering to answer 1 message that I've sent all week

[MrChinaski]

Up to you, friend. I forecast you will not find resolution without talking. That is just my opinion.

[ımthehunter]

if this continues for a while, it can tire the other continuously.

[Anonymous]

Can't humans actually talk to each other these days?

[Staximus]

You're obviously just getting used for sex

[Asker]

So complete ghost then

[Staximus]

When's the last time this guy took you out to dinner

[Asker]

He hasn't which makes it all weird, why keep coming after me esp after the last time when he treated me not good. When we had sex the first time years ago a week later I sent a text with want to meet up I was met with, can't busy! So I ghosted him and ignored all his messages ended up deleting him off social media etc, he tried to re-add me but I ignored them to. within days of me starting up a new one last year he was adding me again so I gave him a chance. God some people never learn eh

[Asker]

And also invited me to his wedding lol!!

[Staximus]

Has he ever even taken you anywhere on a date?

[Asker]

No he hasn't

[Staximus]

So that's how you want to be treated?

[MrChinaski]

It's possible. I don't think it is obvious.

[Staximus]

You're his forever side chick, good luck with that

[Asker]

No which was why I ghosted him in the first place years ago

[MrChinaski]

I also don't like the term 'used for sex'. Sure if you hire a prostitute then you are using them for sex. Otherwise you are, assuming it is between consenting adults, having sex. There is so much misplaced morality around sex.

[Asker]

@bddddd unsure what that means what's possible but not obvious

[Staximus]

I don't know why you expected him to change

[Staximus]

Don't contact him anymore, and when he calls you or texts you just tell him to fuck off. Or just tell him to fuck off now

[Staximus]

@bddddd it's not that hard of a concept to figure out. If somebody just wants a person around for sex then they are using them for sex

[MrChinaski]

It is possible that he doesn't want to invest in you either either emotionally or materially. Staximus had pitched the case more, and in my opinion unduly, forcefully. I know almost nothing about either your life or your relationship. But it is one of the possibilities.

[Asker]

He keep my panties in his dressing gown pocket.. He has shown me them and also kept another pair where he also put them in his pocket. his head might be a mess because he's months into seperation I don't know, I don't know much about their marriage I gave him a wide berth for years. what I do know is he's flakiny.. I have just sent him a message with hi you doing OK? If no response or so much as a word one answer he's getting what he to the last time completely gone no backsies on my end

[MrChinaski]

Talking with him is your best chance to clarify things. Peace out.

[Staximus]

@bddddd you're literally contradicting yourself, genius

[MrChinaski]

I don't have enough information to reach that conclusion.

[Asker]

@bddddd he isn't talking to me at all at the moment so hardly going to get anything from him

[Asker]

Didn't bother opening message so got my answer, been used for sex been kicked out

[Staximus]

You seem to have a problem communicating effectively with this guy like an adult

[In_Trance]

smh... you asked this twice

[In_Trance]

Don't message him; call him