Is it possible that dating feels harder today because it’s easier for women to avoid settling?

[MzAsh]

With more women building independent lives and having more options, it seems like the pressure to “settle” just isn’t what it used to be.

Not needing to compromise for survival changes the dynamic.

Maybe dating hasn’t really gotten harder, maybe it’s just gotten harder for those who were counting on women having fewer choices. Just a thought.

[RiseofArtemis]

Not the slightest. The problem is this. "Why should I settle for one who gives me 90 or 80% of what I need when I can have one who gives me 100%

They then proceed to search for that one mister perfect forgetting that they too need to fit his criteria and in the end the chances for them to find a guy are zero.

You'd think modern life and having money would make them have more choices in men they want to have and can have a life with but its fewer than ever before. Its a proven fact through researches done by universities and independent scientists.

The more a woman earns the fewer partners she will have interest in because they need to at least earn her level or more money. Its the complete oposide for men. The more they earn the more women they can attract.

Which in turn causes the all men are cheating or unloyal and don't want a relationship or marriage with women. The type of men you want very often have a dozen women at their dispoal and meet new ones constantly.

If you want to find a man as a woman you first need to realize your own mistake in mate selection but when did women ever admit to be wrong. They'd rather be single in their 40 than admit to be wrong or to be with a guy that earns less. Also proven and soon the number of single women with no children will be 50% in the US.

[MzAsh]

Smart, relationship minded women actually don’t want that type of man at all. It’s much better to be with the guy earning less than someone earning more and cheats.

[OneViewpoint]

It's not that they can avoid settling per se. Anyone could do that throughout history. It's the virtually unlimited choices. Pre internet and dating / hookup apps your choices were limited by your circle of friends and the number of people who could fit in a bar or club on a given night. Much more finite choices.

Today, a girl can lay on the couch and swipe left for 8 hours straight. Maybe go through 1,000 guys. The human mind can't process that many choices. And it leads to addiction like the lottery. "The next one will be a winner." So you never actually make a choice. Humans also look for any reason to avoid making a choice.

At the same time all the women are ONLY swiping right on the top 3% of guys. Guys that are way out of their league for most women. But again, they delude themselves that they're gonna get lucky and be "the one". That 6'4" dark haired guy with a ripped body and a 7 figure job on Wall Street has 1,000 women swiping right on him per week. Why would he leave the candy store to settle for one woman?

Dating apps / hookup apps are horrible for society.

[bobalife]

more men avoid commitment by filling in the void to have friends with benefits and hook ups, or not wanting heart breaks

more women know their worth and isn't settling for less and/or dating world is getting so bad that they are choosing themselves and their happiness than a bad relationship

[RiseofArtemis]

Yeah sure and how many extremely good behaved guys are in her friendzone she will never give a chance to because they don't excite her. one? five? ten?

[bobalife]

This sounds personal. Obviously move on and find someone who reciprocate your feelings.

[RiseofArtemis]

nope not personal, just an observation and the constant thing I read online. Of women who know the guys are into them but they aren't yet they use them constantly for favors or manipualte them. If those guys weren't so stupid then those women would have no male friends. Maybe then they would actualy care to look for men when they notice they don't get any attention.

[bobalife]

Per observation, it’s considered parasitic behavior to pretentiously be a woman’s friend to play the nice guy to see if she will get with him. Real friendships is platonic and holds good intentions. Equally men and women who takes advantage of someone’s feelings or kindness is equalivant of not being great people either. As a woman, we don’t need male friendships to get attention. Generally if someone has good character or attractive, anyone can get attention.

[MzAsh]

If a man’s only reason for being “friends” with a woman is to eventually get something out of her… sex, romance, validation, then that’s not friendship. That’s manipulation with a smile on it.

This whole “friendzone” complaint just exposes that some guys don’t actually value the woman. They just feel entitled to a return on investment. And when they don’t get it, suddenly she’s the bad guy.

Here’s a wild idea. If a man doesn’t want to be “used” for favors, then maybe he should stop offering them with strings attached. Women aren’t mind readers, but if your kindness is transactional, then own that. Don’t pretend you’re just a nice guy getting taken advantage of. You’re playing a role, hoping for a payout.

Oh, and let’s not pretend men don’t use women too… emotionally, sexually, financially.

[alice55]

It's easier for men to avoid settling they can get all the sex they want without having to do any work like provide or take responsibility

[Avicenna]

This is a much more complex topic than that makes it sound. You also don´t give a benchmark date or era for comparison.

A lot of men are also completely happy to be involved in situationships or just have casual sex rather than the responsibility of a monomgamous relationship. It does seem harder to find a suitable partner for a monogamous relationship.

[Jove79]

Social media caused this problem. Loads of young women show off their body to thousands of guys, keeping them interested in them.. the more guys who beg for attention, the less she will settle for one. Guys simp for girls all day and night. Ever since I got off social media, and started going out more, there’s a totally different perspective in real life.

[MzAsh]

That’s always been a woman’s experience though, even before social media. For every woman exists several men orbiting her. It’s just nature. It’s just that now you can see it too.

[Jove79]

Definitely not the same as before social media.. back then a girl would have coworkers and guys at the mall.. totaling about 10 guys total.

Now they just drop their pants and bounce in their underwear in the privacy of their bedroom, for literally thousands to see.. there’s many who have little followers, with millions of views.. all that contributes to them not wanting to settle and having a high ego.

Fortunately there’s many girls not like this, but it’s a growing trend sadly.

[nron97]

“Building independent lives”


Meaning?
Cutting hair, painting nails, or getting their holes drilled on the internet. 80% of women. Majority of women are not “building independent lives” they’re either stuck with children and no man, chasing men who hurt them, or are too ugly to matter. Wake up and smell the coffee beans lady.

[Vegasrunner]

@MzAsh I am always confused as to who are the people believing dating is harder now. in my opinion there's never been a better time in the history of the world for men to date. I do see quite a few women complaining, so maybe it's harder for women. If you're a HV man there's so many options it's insane.

[NathanDavis]

things only get harder for the inadequate... the rest who are capable... are doing just fine

[MrChinaski]

This is a good thing , right? Your hypothesis seems to be that women used to be obliged to enter marriages that were not healthy for them. I agree.

[Bklynbadboy12]

No dating is harder today cause we live in a hookup culture where all people want to do is hookup hard to find someone that really wants to settle down

[DrPepper12]

All the research says that you are correct. Women don't need to settle and increasingly they're not and also self-sorting by educational levels, not income.

[Grond21]

This is absolutely one of the reasons, but certainly not the only one. At most it contributes 5% to the current difficulty

[fish5505_87]

Sounds plausible, woman have much more freedom the last 30-50 years, being able to get out of bad relationships too. I see it more as positive.

[MongozDish]

Well, it depends on what you mean by "settling".

[PeachyPie93]

Hookup culture is the reason it is harder..

[In_Trance]

It's always been that way though

[eagle1951]

i don't know